There's a guy playing @stardewvalleywiki.bsky.social at the bar. Coolest guy in the room.

If I had a nickel for every time I've been at a casino and the fire alarm has gone off I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.

Apparently I said Beetlejuice 3x. My bad.

@summerbruise.bsky.social may have done the best lyric video ever. youtu.be/ZcEPkbbDNCo?...

HOLY CRAP GUYS HE'S SO CLOSE.

When did H John Benjamin start coaching Armenia

It is so good.

I'M GONNA START MY OWN MAYONNAISE... WITH BLACKJACK... AND HOOKERS.

Mayyyyyyybe we dont buy shrimp with "Great Value" as the branding.

You didn't end the invasion of Ukraine in 24 hours. You also didn't involve Ukraine in today's "talks" Participation ribbon for international politics.

I'll take the draw after that. #itfc

OPINION: I Want To Snap Your Child's Vuvuzela Over My Knee And Watch the Joy Drain From Their Eyes www.thenutmegnews.com/current/2025...

I dont like Leagues Cup as its a disruption to the season, but I do like the badass post and pre game street food. #crew96

My @thenutmegnews.com headline. I Want To Snap Your Child's Vuvuzela Over My Knee and Watch the Joy Drain from their Eyes.

Leagues Cup should be held in the USA in January and February. I will be taking no questions at this time.

THATS MY BUSH #crew96

Or we could just not get a UFL team. That would be cool too.

That's a lot of money to make Groot and Rocket Raccoon kiss.

The main difference between the twilight zone and a regular zone is all the weird stuff that goes on in there

I would love for us to sandbag this shit tournament and just concentrate on the cup. #crew96

Its so weird everyone on this team is named Corona #crew96

I hope the #crew96 match in Toronto is on a weekend next year. Did the jet boat in the lower Niagra river over the falls yesterday. 100% want an excuse to do that again and do the falls zip line before taking the train to Toronto for a match.

Trying to continue my streak of politely asking @themountaingoats.bsky.social for songs I've never heard live during the middle part of the set. Any chance you could please play Enoch 14:18 tomorrow night?

Sorry but personally if a miniature horse woke me up from anesthesia by banging out nonsense on a miniature keyboard it would send me into a liminal space between life and death from which I would never return

~Deja vu~ #Crew96

Let's get fired up for #HellIsReal with a vintage martial arts movie trailer. Be massive my friends. #Crew96 | #NorOnTour | #VamosColumbus

Hope @thechief.bsky.social had a great night. #crew96

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE THREW OUT A WIG.

I boarded the Amtrak to Chicago at Milwaukee platform zero today, and I feel like @standupmaths.bsky.social and @geofftech.bsky.social would approve.

My friend is the Wade Boggs of the Amtrak Borealis.

JD Vance looks confused.

"Melting in Minneapolis" my new sequel to "Sleepless in Seattle"

Emerson Colindres, 19-yo soccer player from the Cincy area who was 8 when his parents brought him here, was abducted by ICE and is in Butler County jail. His crime? Showing up for his scheduled immigration check-in. The Ohio soccer community needs to stand up. #FreeEmerson #ChingaLaMigra #crew96

So fucking excited to see @laurajanegrace.bsky.social in Columbus tonight.

Been working all afternoon and not looking at my phone. Anything weird happen?

My feed has been waterlogged with ads for the club world cup. They are gonna take a bath on this one. Nobody wants to travel here and why would I go to a match for 2 teams I don't care about?

I mean this as a compliment, but if the new Ed Sheeran song isn't loading music in the new FIFA game they missed a golden opportunity.

Me playing soccer in the yard after exactly 2.5 hard seltzers

Gotta love when the #Reds beat the Cubs. #FlyTheL #NoCubsNo

COTA TIP. Take one of these with you and the bus will stop wherever you tell it to. Follow me for more public transit tips.

Hey @wheatus.com thanks for calming down a rough night.

The most commonly-cited "moderate" positions here are 1) requiring all female athletes from kindergarten through college be subjected to sex testing and 2) replace the best medical judgment of your family pediatrician with Bill Maher's opening monologue

I am enjoying Vancouver being Austin's rival for #mlsrivalryweek

I know yall are excited about #HellIsReal but the match of the year is 4 hours before.

You can pick up a Red Card at the GCGBAG Tailgate! If you see some thumb in Oakleys and a tactical vest harassing someone, and you’ve got some privilege, use it! “All are welcome” doesn’t apply to fascists. Solidarity forever✊