@maxdaemon.bsky.social pulls off the win with a Devil Trigger to @100wecs.bsky.social at 21:12. As an exhausted Daemon has his hand raised by the ref, Bacchus assists his fellow necklace holder and shoots a wink at his longtime rival. #LEW7

My stocks keep cratering I may have to go high risk at the LEW Seven Battle Royal. Time to break out that ax handle from the first rope

what the fuck was that

🎵Damn, man, play that thing Keep on pulling at my strings 'cause when I see me through your eyes...🎵 #LEW7 @loweffortwrestling.bsky.social

you're telling me this O be Toppin?

im all set to graduate Columbia University majoring in " Cowardice " , with a minor in "Kissing Fucking Ass" a nd "Prostrating myself "

just took a hit off the pen stiller, sippin on that borg clooney on the hunt for a necklace like im chasing howie ratner i hope this one has a furby too #LEW6

guys love to say “dude my balatro run last night was insane” then show you a screenshot like this

fuck #lew5

i am sick of “more monkeys jumping on the bed” discourse. it’s as though these people have no memory of 2017 when one fell off and bumped his head. doctor spoke out against it, mama endorsed doctor’s findings. i’m limiting replies to followers because i do not have the energy for YMMJOTBers today

quick update: the man makig dog noises outside my apt ended up being just a dog. to all Gorgeous women who DMed me asking if im ok—thank you

i only run the "I Fucking Love Sarcasm " account to fund my passion project: the "I Fucking Love Fealty" account

I can't believe Kenny Pickett is better than Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson

is this the hatman

@insurgentsia.bsky.social defeats @100wecs.bsky.social at 4:20:69 with a driver you’ve never fuckin’ seen. Apparently, they were both more faded than that time they took Quaaludes and watched Cool Runnings on Showtime free preview weekend at a La Quinta til their eyes melted? Idk, man. #LEW2Results

how old were you when you first realized that toast is just toasted bread? i was 37

Been flippin bricks since 1985 like Mario while you’re on the second controller playin Luigi and sayin it’s woke to be a three pump chump — ha ha. Ops wearin tanuchi suits while my bitch a princess smokin that fire flower — this shit ain’t nothin to me, man. #LEW2 @loweffortwrestling.bsky.social

they got me in bowling green sipping big red at a hilltoppers game. i know the opps hate to see me come off the bench like im 2017 Courtney Lee #LEW2 @loweffortwrestling.bsky.social

the zaza got me moving like the tank controls in a PS2 era survival horror game. ain't no bitch in @loweffortwrestling.bsky.social knows how i'm gonna hit em bc i ain't even privy to that information yet. #LEW1

born to quote the Danny Brown verse on 1train forced to quote the Action Bronson verse on 1train (I'm drinking Henny like I'm Kenny Lofton)

the two main ingredients of chili are msg and beans. other optional ingredients include tomatoes, onions, peppers, and meat

if i were a low-level boss in a criminal organization, the first thing i would do is set up a high-risk, low-upside side business without telling them. i would also be a nuisance who eventually becomes more trouble than he’s worth and agree to meetings at places like abandoned docks or garbage dumps

I move like the protagonist of the first Saints Row game (in silence until it's funnier to talk)

ya bitch off the Henny litcherally

A Formal Announcement From Conrad Dukes docs.google.com/document/d/1...

im off that shit maroon 5 gives their featured artists to make them put in their worst performance

Thank you for joining us in Fabulous Las Vegas for an unforgettable evening! Enjoy the first of our recaps from last night’s revelries, and be sure to have a Happy New Year!

went to the store

[while me and everyone else are watching like six games at the same time] wow good play

they call me olivia the way my name is olivia

bitches be like hear me out and it's the normalest attractive person ever bitch I'm like hear me out and it's the cover art for In the Court of the Crimson King

hour #4 hunched over my big red plastic ipad w/ headphones at carrabbas watching analysis tubers yell at bojack horseman like hes a real guy

hi everybody, the paper of record with sources embedded all throughout international geopolitics here. have you uh ... have you ever tried wwii-era siege cuisine? no reason, just uh, you know

performing social experiments (singing Ho Hey by the Lumineers at karaoke to kill the vibe)

poor homie was sucked

i don't know who needs to hear this, but you can get lamb chops & two sides for $35 at Magic City

explaining basketball to the girlies to launder my lamentation over the death of the power forward

you can't have a cheat day when your diet is terrible every day i am very smart

how it feels to follow collegiate sports based on vibes

im normal and can be trusted to manage a USLC side

oh tomorrow's a Friday the 13th! that's why i keep seeing the crusty beard man

the kingdom of conscience thought cabinet solution would go so hard for the dumbest mfs in this business if they were literate

time to rate some sums of money $100: classic amount of money $0.55: not very much $320.13: not bad $2.02: i think you can do a little better than that, don't you $74,000,000: huge amount of money $74,000,100: just when i thought it couldn't get any better! $16: sure -$7230: you GOTTA be kidding me

the good news: my sinuses are clear the bad news: some bitch in here smells like general tso's chicken (i am the only person in the room)

oh, the bill? do worry about paying. we got you uncovered. your money's so good here. it's off the house