Always found it pretty cool that there's a medieval demon of typos

Princess Diana is making me produce sounds like a blocked drain

@timdowling.bsky.social has been adventuring with jelly and it looks like Pertwee-era Doctor Who communing with an alien ambassador who might be a baddie.

I’ve just finished Havoc by Rebecca Wait; an utter hoot, clever, thoughtful, really rather tender, awfully well written and did I mention it’s a hoot? Do read it. Although if it turns out you don’t love Louise Adler with every fibre of your being I’m afraid we can never be friends. 💙📚

It’s The Day After and I can offer you only this. All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good people get in their own heads a bit. Not over it.

Here’s the cover for LIKE A CAT LOVES A BIRD: THE NINE LIVES OF MURIEL SPARK, out 16 April with @sceptrebooks.bsky.social Preorder here: lnk.to/LikeaCatLove... Please share! The book doing well means I can write another (and fulfil my dream of owning a pizza oven), so it’s pretty serious 🐈‍⬛ 🐈‍⬛ 🐈‍⬛

We finally did! Don’t think I can realistically claim credit though. 😆 Thank you @trientertainment.bsky.social and Marina and Richard; your Traitors eps were as big an event as the show itself. 😍

What would be a good name for a bad pub? “The Dog Returns.”

Drinking from the wrong side of the glass is the one thing that reliably cures hiccups* for me. How does that work, then? * Actually prefer the spelling ‘hiccoughs’ but don’t want to sound too, y’know, fogey.

No neede for expensyve consultinge firmes. Heere ys a planne for excellent higher education: 1) Hire manye facultye 2) Small class syzes 3) Emphasyze engagemente & delighte 4) Sustayne & cultivate a varietye of fieldes and disciplines, even currentlye unfashionable ones -- thys ys ed, not retail

Got to love this headline.

YES PLEASE!

Adverts should be representative of traditional British families

Some Like It Shot

Are thy dailye worke taskes tedious and mundane? Add "space" to them! Suddenlye you are livinge the science fictioun future -- goinge to space workeshoppes, sendinge space emayles, figuringe out your space travel reimbursement formes.

There is a moment at this time of year when the word ‘apricity’ really comes into view. For those who don’t know it, it was recorded only once, in 1623, before slipping out of view. Apricity is the warmth of the sun on a chilly day.

Louvre robbery. French police release image of suspect.

@trientertainment.bsky.social All due adoration for the Traitors episodes but... You went to Marina's HOUSE and we didn't see the BOOKSHELVES???

A bleak dystopia where Sharia law predominates, while economic and cultural divisions mean that the different communities live parallel, segregated lives. Oh, wait, that’s Dubai …

I’m finding this unreasonably funny

Trump right now.

It’s still amazing to me that they really thought they were making a high-art piece of wrenching drama. I mean, if it had been a John Waters film with Divine as Joan Crawford it could not have been more camp. Love it so.

I’m rewatching Mommie Dearest and it was just TINA!!! BRING ME THE AXE!!!!! and I can’t breathe.

Yes, yes I know I keep banging on about my fucking book! However, if you want one repost this and I’ll do a random winner pick thing by the end of the week because I’m great like that. ♥️📚 #amindofmyown

Short story.

When astronomeres get drunke thei texte their exoplanets

Birthday book haul! 🥳 📚💙

#reading #books #library #writingcommunity #booksky #amreading

This guy has perfected his Trump lip-syncs and I think this is the peak

Was the rapture preempted by Trump’s vital UN speech or Kimmel’s return?

It’s 93 days till Christmas and I’ve eaten my first mince pie. Sorry not sorry.

In honour of the equinox and the evenings getting cooler: I give you one of my friend Lucy’s dogs getting winter-ready (and possibly dreaming of roast chicken).

Where he knows Andrew from remains a mystery.

I am HONKING!

That thing where everyone waves lighters in tribute but it’s for Sorcha at this difficult time.

Asked a leading royal historian today whether Prince Albert dressed to the left or right. “Upwards,” he said, pointing at a photograph. More news as we get it.

I habitually wear a rainbow pin at work. Today for the first time I was told - shouted at, actually - that I was a w****r who should be embarrassed for himself. The least lovable among us are definitely feeling emboldened right now.

I want a button on the remote for Audio Description Service By Sorcha because be honest, wouldn’t you rather just close your eyes and have the telly described to you this way?

It’s a National Front rally, isn’t it? Let’s not pretend it’s anything else.

To The Outhouse

Slightly diminish a book. 11pm’s Children The Selfie of a Lady

Funnily enough I did have a physics teacher back in the day who spent one lesson explaining how benign dictatorship was the best form of government and Apartheid South Africa its perfect embodiment. No monocle though. 💁🏻‍♂️

Back in a mo. Just need to check the cat for leftist fur patterns.

I'm ded 💀 😂 😂 😂

A Sardonyx Cameo sounds like one in which everyone concerned is giving unmistakable side-eye and I put it to you that this bears out my theory.

I am DEFINITELY going to end an email with either ‘Goodnight sweet prince’ or ‘I am gone forever’ at some point.

Just for perspective, a few weeks ago roughly 100,000 turned up for the London Trans+ Pride march. By contrast fewer than 3,000 ACROSS THE WHOLE COUNTRY, have turned up to anti-asylum "protests". Yet we are meant to take the latter as "the voice of the people" and the former as "the minority".

People convicted and imprisoned for saying or writing things that stir up racial hatred. • Abu Hamza • Abdullah el-Faisal • Lucy Connolly Guess which conviction made the right wing suddenly decide writing or saying things that stir up hatred is okay, actually.

Among the many reasons The Apprentice makes me want to throw a shoe at the telly, this is not the least. It's a PHONE you hold it to your EAR.