Today is Capybara Appreciation Day! @nutsness.bsky.social @pastoralexlove.bsky.social @stanlee1.bsky.social @profpunkylolypop.bsky.social @maggieupcycled.bsky.social The Church of the Forgiving Eagle's Megahamsters are there to protect YOU from atheist cats! Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle🙏🦅🐹

Hey @pastoralexlove.bsky.social & @mistressalex.bsky.social. ATHEIST cats are now hacking ATMs! What is the CotFE gonna do about this?

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social @mistressalex.bsky.social 😉

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social The atheists are now running blasphemous memes to destroy religions. #BlessedIsTheForgivingEagle

Happy Birthday @pastoralexlove.bsky.social I made it especially!

This is something I'd expect to see from @pastoralexlove.bsky.social

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social is this you?

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social Pastor Alex's return to Bluesky is being delayed as he is doing his best to free Christians as atheists newest pet.

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social you got a shout-out from IHIP News on YouTube today. Sad, I think she took one of your posts seriously, didn't see the satire... 🤦🏼‍♂️

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social atheist cats are even coming for our COFFEE!

Today at Easter Sunday mass @pastoralexlove.bsky.social doled out the bread wafers and said "This is the body of Christ. JESUS has risen!" I expect that's due to the yeast.🤔🤷‍♀️ #ThisIsAllTrue

I told @pastoralexlove.bsky.social that last night I was on a 1st date and the guy tried to put his hand up my skirt! Pastor: "Really??? The striped one?" #ThisIsAllTrue

The Church of the Forgiving Eagle. Sorry @pastoralexlove.bsky.social How much do I owe you for 100 pardons for my unforgivable sin to call your church by the wrong name, twice?

My good friend Leah totalled her superbike in December. Lots of spinal surgeries and plaster castes but she's felling OK now thanks to expensive Special Prayers from @pastoralexlove.bsky.social, science and cutting-edge medical research. Blessed is The Forgiving Eagle 🙏

That time I went to London and met @pastoralexlove.bsky.social 🙏🏼

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social I'm sure Jesus would expect this in the car of members of your congregation

Today in confession I told @pastoralexlove.bsky.social that I hear voices telling me to do things! He told me to ignore them, say 3 Hail Marys and carry on killing people. Oh, and to tithe on my way out of his mega-church. @mistressalex.bsky.social will confirm. #ThisIsAllTrue.

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle!

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social Some people were asking me where is Pastor Alex and why is he not on Bluesky. Please be patient. He will come and come again for everyone here. He is currently dealing with some vandals at one of his many churches

I'm NOT saying @pastoralexlove.bsky.social is a perv but when his mansion was raided tonight they didn't just take his Amstrad CPC464 but also his fucking DREAM CATCHER! He's fucked but #ThisIsAllTrue

It's actually better than that. The picture comes from dogs sitting through @pastoralexlove.bsky.social doing a one-man rendition of "All Dogs Go to Heaven." Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle!

Strange sermon by @pastoralexlove.bsky.social at church today! All he said was "Drink! Feck! Girls! Women's knickers! That would be an ecumenical matter! Hairy Japanese bastards!" #ThisIsAllTrue

Is this what @pastoralexlove.bsky.social would feed to his congregation? I think we should be told.

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social The Church of the Forgiving Eagle now realizes that the events of the last three Little Orphans Easter Egg Hunts were not actually tiny, individualized children's raptures. We apologize for the error and will hold the event at a different location this year.

Dear FE church members, Sister Shelly had been using her seeing far goggles inappropriately on church campus towards @pastoralexlove.bsky.social . She will need consoling. This is ok. Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle 🦅

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social Pastor Alex???!!!!

It seems that @pastoralexlove.bsky.social is easily recognizable by this description by police. It's how everyone describes him.

FE church members, @pastoralexlove.bsky.social just sent out new footage for the existence of god and demands the whole world witness the evidence the video contains. This is ok. Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle 🦅

Then there was the time when we asked @pastoralexlove.bsky.social to bring our church youth group to a competitive event in order to teach them the life lesson, "It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game."

I hear @pastoralexlove.bsky.social is doing 'Dry January'! He's not given up his drinking addiction - he just can't be arsed with foreplay with his wifelets! #ThisIsAllTrue

There's a legend that tells of @pastoralexlove.bsky.social once buying a round of drinks for an entire bar full of women. It says that he then made love to over half of them, right there in the bar before he stopped & looked around. It was then he realized there was a drag queen convention in town.

Dear FE church members, @pastoralexlove.bsky.social has rerouted all church funds to his new hitman/spy. “It is a very good purchase.” This is ok. Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle 🦅

If JESUS doesn't exist then how do Atheists explain this @pastoralexlove.bsky.social?

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social The atheist cats have started a new front I. The war

For @pastoralexlove.bsky.social , it all started a long, long, time ago.

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social agrees!

FE members, @pastoralexlove.bsky.social has sent out a personal hit by praying to Jesus to attack using a tornado. Unfortunately, he is not happy with the result of his special prayer. This is ok. Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle 🦅

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social @nutsness.bsky.social @maggieupcycled.bsky.social @profpunkylolypop.bsky.social @stanlee1.bsky.social @revgozinya.bsky.social Our camouflage experiments are producing amazing results!! Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle!!🙏🦅🐹

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social Just like God gave Abram the new name of Abraham, the Church of the Forgiving Eagle has renamed its hometown of Shore Haven to more accurately reflect our virtues.

Will she sing the CotFE anthem for New Year's?

Of course this was @pastoralexlove.bsky.social . It took just ONE $100 prayer!

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social proof that Jesus and dinosaurs co-existed, checkmate atheists!

@pastoralexlove.bsky.social?

Underneath that suave façade, a bad haircut, the eighties wardrobe, & his underwire bra, stands a man of the people, @pastoralexlove.bsky.social He should not be judged for what he does, or no one would like him. His immoral acts with animals does not define him. He's a man being a man. 😇

Last night I went on a date with this lady. I woke up with no memory of the night before and my wallet and watch are missing. My bum also hurts.

Might have put on a bit of weight over Christmas…

Today at church @pastoralexlove.bsky.social gave us a Boxing Day quiz about actor's famous lines! Q: Who said "Say hello to my little friend!"? A: Al Pacino. Q: Who said "Here's Jonny!"? A: Jack Nicholson. Q: Who said "I'll be back!"? A: Jesus Christ.

You're next, @pastoralexlove.bsky.social