People coming to bluesky because twitter is broke

Me when people still have their Halloween decorations up.

They’re calling her Megyn R. Kelly on TikTok

emailing in a semi-literate manner isn’t a sign of stupidity, it’s another form of rich asshole arrogance because you don’t think you owe anyone coherent thoughts

My 30th class reunion was four days ago and I’m still thinking about the person who told me one of her kids was named Caprese.

How am I supposed to sleep after that speech?

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

Ahem.

hug your war criminals a little tighter today

Bringing back the Andrew Dice Clay behind the head cigarette draw whenever I say something zippy.

Husband and I are gonna curl up and watch something scary tonight. We decided on Fox News.

Sunday vibes 19: Like buttah.

Just read the words “profitable memes” in a sentence and had to lie down in savasana.

guys. GUYS.

Anyone else feel like a French jewel heist classed up their morning a little? My pinkie went up a bit higher than usual as I sipped my iced Nespresso.

white house has joined bluesky click here to block all official us government accounts instantly bsky.app/profile/did:...

imagine getting a pep talk to "do the fucking news" by peter thiel's hand puppet. i would simply turn to dust.

Watching The Lost Bus with a group of gay men and I can barely describe the shockwave of laughs when McConaughey says that he never thought that this is where he thought he’d be at 44. FOURTY. FOUR.

I have become incredibly weary of sprayed-edges.

For a movie that’s 35 years old, Dick Tracy’s make up & prosthetic artists did a fantastic job on the outlandish Dick Tracy villains that still holds up.

How it honestly feels to know that Jane Goodall is gone.

Fat shaming the entire military is a solid idea. Should have zero consequences.

Tom Homan took a bag of cash from an undercover FBI agent the right way. by Ezra Klein

My dog goes to bed hours before we do and just stands at the top of the stairs like she’s in some sort of fucking V.C. Andrews novel until we come to bed.

Portishead just released a new live video of one of the greatest songs on the planet. Just an absolute banger youtu.be/g2AmYPyXoUQ?...

Called my local internet provider to change some info because we’re moving. I mentioned the account was under my husbands name and they wouldn’t let me without his consent. I called back again and said I was his wife and NO PROBLEM MA’AM!!!!!

My top 3. Shout out to everyone who’s gonna try and survive the ending of Out of Africa tonight. Ugh!

Welcome to the CMA/Emmys!!

“we have friends everywhere”

ANDOR WON SOMETHING

Someone please donate a cool million to the boys and girls club and end this tragedy.

You can write this only if, by virtue of your income, identity, or both, you are utterly removed from the consequences of politics. To pretend that the racist, misogynistic, anti-gay vileness that Kirk spent his life spreading is secondary to the fact that he spread it "the right way" is appalling.

Doctors I trust more than RFK, Jr:

I could make watch faces all damn day.

GO OFF LORD GRANTHAM

There's a bit of "I have a box at the Academy of Music" vibe to people who refuse to leave twitter.

Why do podcasters think I want to see them?

Sunday Vibes: pt 18 Damn, it’s nice out.

Predicting now that Travis Kelce’s mom will win Traitors season 4. Not a single one of those B-list celebrities is gonna banish or murder her if there’s a shot at getting invited to that wedding.

May James Dobson burn and rot below for all eternity. A cruel, venal man who caused grave harm with every breath he took.

If I ever get on a reality show, I want the description under my name to say: “Thought Étoile was actually great and deserved better.”

Icon. RIP.

At least I don’t have to fly to Alaska for my performance review.

Alien Earth is totally fine and I should have zero problems sleeping after the scene with the cat.

*Top Secret *Postcards from the Edge *Flirting with Disaster

How do you drink your beer once you’ve filled the bowl? Yes, a straw could work, but this feels like something you bring to straight pride so that’s out of the question.