Board game like Risk but with three warring factions; rock, paper, and scissors.

Write a conspiracy novel following the world's transition to a cashless society compelled by a cabal of tailors who want to save a few cents on fabric by decreasing the size of trouser pockets.

Write a novel in which the April Fool conducts a years long affair leading to a secret second family in the next town over as a goof.

The April Fool

Rewrite The Picture of Dorian Gray but the portrait that ages horribly is a goofy park caricature.

I love that ChatGPT is basically "Ask Jenny McCarthy a question"

Write a historical novel exploring how before French kissing it was called Gaul kissing because you'd have to have some nerve to kiss somebody like that.

A house blew up a few blocks from me.

Write an allegory about a multi-year study costing several billion dollars examining the exact level of greenness of the grass on the other side.

Pitch an SNL sketch in 2010 with a David Fincher's The Social Network movie but it's about Myspace Tom.

Back in business after a very bizarre week.

Yesterday while shipping a book the clerk asked my number. I did a double take, as my number was already on her monitor. Only it wasn't my number, it was all my numbers in a different order. The customer before me had my same phone number, only jumbled.

If you need any kind of furniture, I probably have two.

Write a conspiracy novel in which the penny is eliminated from circulation in order to reduce luck's weight on society's progression.

Pitch a documentary about a man who tries to explain a fisheye lens to a fish.

Write a horror novel about the place shows go when you change the channel.

New calico unlocked.

I keep buying antique Lane trunks, and nobody is buying antique Lane trunks from me, so now I just have a warehouse full of antique Lane trunks.

CINEMA SECRET: A DELETED SCENE for Back to the Future would have involved the entirety of ROMANCING THE STONE but filmmakers decided to make that a different movie released earlier.

Write a detective novel in which a gumshoe must overcome a cold to seek out a lost scent when the sniff part has been stolen from a line of scratch and sniff stickers.

Write a romance novel that's just a 150, 200 page description of butter melting.

Parallel universe where the only difference is that all of Vinnie Jones' and Toby Jones' roles are reversed.

Are there movies based on songs that aren't musicals?

Wanna feel old? This is what Baby Yoda looks like now. *photo of regular Yoda*

I sold a shredder to a man who after arriving 40 minutes late looked me in the eye and said, "Craig, don't dismiss this moment. This is providential."

You may have known me on twitter as Joyce Carol Oates

Pitch an episode of Law & Order in which somebody downloads a car.

Write a conspiracy thriller in which an investigator uncovers that the Charleston was the original C-Walk.

I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain. Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.

Been rewatching Golden Girls. Grew up with the dub, it's crazy how different the sub is.

Whitehouse dot gov petition to get Jack Nicholson to do one more Jake Gittes movie.

Anybody wanna go to Elk City OK? I've got a line on dozens of antique sewing cabinets.

They've figured out the tower.

Write a sci-fi novel about a used calendar salesman who strikes it rich via time travel.

Giving up writing to start a youtube channel called "Is Bjork Still Famous" where I post videos of me going up to strangers and asking if Bjork is still famous.

Okay but in that Squirrel Nut Zippers song the guy says teeth are extruded and bones are ground and baked into cakes which are passed around, but if that's right, how are they eating the cakes without teeth?

My cat has disappeared.

I got something to say: I wrapped your presents today

Prequel called Strange Things.

Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans