America would issue a response to India’s attack on Pakistan but the defense secretary is tied up in an angry Signal chat with an ex that he’s conducting while partially passed out in a bathroom stall at the Pentagon.

India and Pakistan are at war – and Trump cannot locate either country without the help of his entire cabinet and a box of sharpies.

If I send you this picture it means I just heard the dumbest shit imaginable

I love how PM Carney referred to us as the owners of Canada ♥️🇨🇦 #cdnpoli

Exactly this 😂

Listening to that meeting was painful. But our PM didn’t take the bait and let Darth Doofus yap himself into a corner.

Godspeed, Mr. Carney. How do I donate to his Advil stock?

Folded a towel, 0.2 seconds later Newt claims it for herself. Guess I’m done doing laundry for the day 😂 #Cat #Cats #Catsky #CatsofBluesky

Can we fly a “fck aboot and find oot” flag from the plane?

🫡 fare thee well my old friend

ICE Opens New Supermax Detention Center For Most Hardened Toddlers theonion.com/ice-ope...

NY17 Constituent and local social worker Emily Feiner was singled out and forcibly removed during Rep. Mike Lawler's town hall.

Just passing along some friendly advice on how to approach potential changes to the Australian health care system @drruthmitchell.bsky.social

Anyone else’s #Cat get really upset when you close a door between you and them? I was having a shower and could hear Ripley screaming over the sound of the water to get in. Now she’s purring and kneading against my legs and all is well and right in the world. #Catsky #CatsofBluesky

I like how they tried to be like “we’re the good guys” but AI was like “nah we’re giving you a red lightsaber because you’re clearly Darth Dumbass”

Wow. Just wow.

Body: *shaking because it’s hungry* Me: ok here u go *eats lunch* Body: *still shaking and now my stomach hurts* Me: -_-

This took me way too long to get 😂

I think I’m more coherent drunk. Or when I’m rambling on about horse facts that nobody wants to hear 😂

Happy Giant Phallus Shaped Iceberg Floating In Conception Bay of Dildo, Canada Day to all who celebrate.

Last night at probably around 11 I woke up to the cat flap snapping shut followed by multiple loud hurt meows. I don’t even think I touched the stairs on the way down. Turned on the light, frantically searching for my hurt baby and whipped around to see my cat sitting politely on a chair. 😮‍💨 1/2

…what the hell is he talking about?

What I wouldn’t give to be in my history teacher’s classroom right now…he was so focused on Indigenous people and their communities.

beep beep

Using this as my alarm in the morning 😂

Is my headache from the weather or the peeps down south?

😂 I’ll take “Big Daddy” over the guy who parades his wife and kids around because most women hate him passionately any day!

Waiting in line to laugh at PP 😂

Um #ElectionsCanada site is down?!

6-3 #Liberals!! 🎉

I have a strange urge to live-skeet the #Canadian election like it’s a hockey game 😂 2-1 Cons but it’s still early in the game!

Nyoooom!

Keep that disrespectful blue suit away from the cameras. It is NOT about him.

*snerk*

I feel like this is appropriate for today, I’m going on a book crawl to three small, locally owned second hand book stores!

RETWEET if you stand with Judge Hannah Dugan!

A church sign I just passed: “Body piercings saved our lives.” I expected something much more church-y, but I appreciate the laugh 😂

Me 😂 🤠

Poilievre rushed to safety after actual journalist question makes it past security

wait what

Happy Friday! New horrors are happening!

Now this is some therapy I could get behind 😂

😂 this is incredible!!

Those sick S.O.Bs. Terrifying an already traumatized woman and her THREE children is a low I didn’t think we could hit, but the Turnip Administration loves to play Limbo! I pray for their safety tonight, even as a fierce atheist.

The bees 🐝 love these flowers, and they’re everywhere right now! #Spring #Flowers

Feel like I can talk for most horse people right now: hey if you’re a random person with little to no horse experience or knowledge please don’t touch our horses they are our babies and we will fight for them k thx byeee (also leaping back into your car and speeding away is super sus just sayin’)

holding pete hegseth upside down by the ankle and shaking him a little until every last secret war chat falls out onto the floor