This absolutely sucks

omg this shirt had me emphysema laughing #AEWCollision

They finally let Marina Shafir talk and she immediately goes with toes in buttholes. She needs a mic every show from now on. #AEWCollision

Jon Moxley on commentary ripping everyone’s pant choices #AEWCollision

The Dogs totally reek of awesomeness #AEWCollision

They will never make me hate you Tomasso Ciampa #AEWCollision

MY SHADOW KNOWS MY STORYYYYYYYYYYY #AEWCollision

Would have preferred if Arsenal won tbh

Arsenal with an early 1-0 lead because I needed to have an 85 minute panic attack today #UCLFinal

KAI FUCKING HAVERTZ #UCLFinal

COYG #UCLFinal

Mitch Marner vs Freddy Andersen for the Conn Smythe just like we all predicted

I’m at a bar and a shirtless baby just stabbed his dad with a fork I am never leaving

Habs score late in the 3rd to make it 5-1

The United States has always been at war with science

Baby Billy Freeman has pulled out of performing at the Great American State Fair

If the Carolina Hurricanes stop both the Habs and Mitch Marner from winning a Cup this year I will forgive them for 2003 thank you

I wore my Maple Leafs t-shirt today to celebrate Habs Elimination Day because I am a generational hater.

You absolutely love to see it

Wild choice to make it canon that toys can get cancer

Giants OLB Abdul Carter on why he responded critically to Jaxson Dart’s decision to introduce Donald Trump: www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

There were about 20 Habs fans in this bar half an hour ago I wonder where they all went.

“The new James Bond game doesn’t have enough kissing hot girls and his boss is DEI,” I say to my microwave as a frozen dinner turns in slow circles, each rotation another sliver taken away from my soul

DEFENDER NAMED: Alphonso Davies #FIFAWorldCup

Can’t leave work or I’ll get fired so spending the time I would have been protesting downtown emailing “separate deez nuts” to members of the UCP. #abpoli

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

Happy to see that Tom “Shitpants” McDonald, the guy who shits his pants on stage while singing Hank Williams covers, has pulled out of the America 250 concert thing.

He does this every Friday.

Norwegian broadcasters in the final seconds of their country’s 2-0 win over Latvia. Norway advances to the SF of the #iihfworlds for the first time.

I enjoy The Ringer but their use of the Distant Factoid Opening Gambit is out of control. This is an article about Giannis Antetokounmpo

Extremely often you check the profile of a man who makes the most vile, unhinged comments to and about women on social media and it’s: Proud Christian ✝️ my wife 💍 GIRL DAD

Tim Hortons to reduce Temporary Foreign Worker hiring once they figure out how to treat Canadians like serfs

AEW is batting 1.000 for women in street fights so if you aren’t watching this match you should be #AEWCollision

Revised from the desk of Okada

ICE is shooting pepper spray and attacking press right now at Delaney Hall.

OSPREAY OSPREAY #AEWCollision

Takeshita is Conglomerating!!!!!!! #AEWDynamite

TAKESHITA IS CONGOLMERATING #AEWCollision

Snakeman is looking to invest with me in Donk Stonks, the Mark Davis stock that everyone is talking about. All you have to do is send eight dollars to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace… #AEWCollision

1) that match was sick 2) buy Mark Davis stock (donk stonks) 3) Jack Perry still somehow underrated 4) fuck Don Callis 5) I forgot this show was 3 hours #AEWDynamite #AEWCollision

TayJay #AEWDynamite

Shoutout to the person in the front row with the “reeking of gold” sign #AEWDynamite

I know some people still use them but seeing camera flashes in the crowd again that much brought back a feeling. #AEWDynamite

I WANT MY FIVE SECOND POSE #AEWDynamite

That match ruled. MEAT #AEWDynamite

That shot of Claudio went so hard #AEWDynamite

MY SHADOW KNOWS MY STORRYYYYYYY #AEWDynamite