Dressuptober Day 25 Ran

@nevarii.bsky.social took some better pictures of my Trench Crusade Heretic Legion. (which is led by more of a whole Coven instead of a Priestess at this point.) The new miniature shown w/ the Sacrificial Knife embraces that weapon option. Will add pictures of my Rifle troops when they're done!

It is the rare story where I find endless delight in picking apart the craft of its many expressions of love, abuse, and many short sighted tragedies. That said, this is the kind of story you read for catharsis. Its back of book content warnings include some rough stuff.

Nevarii writes some much softer and much quicker to get into the polyamorous lesbians who accept the trans girl among them. I just don't think the world of Sun Spoken Turn is as weird or niche as Lamentations. Half the time I pick up my copies I find new reasons that it is my favorite.

Weird, niche, and my absolute favorite media by a trans artist? @nevarii.bsky.social's Book 2 of Lamentations of the Dead Dreamer contains many lovingly imagined queer characters who defiantly sow the seeds for a better world where we can all heal from bitter cruelties and callous Fae exclusions.

Turns out that I only had to read a single page for this to happen. Anyway, A Reaver's Final Mission begins by seizing the reader and Lyra by the scruff of a tunic and venting an unfortunate amount of pain and rage and fear directed at someone who really needs to be afforded grace and patience.

"I am the storm's tool, and she will not let me go, nor allow me to break." I am... Trying. so hard to not scream right now.

Sorry, chapter is called a Reaver's Last Lesson. It's chapter 31 of Book 2 and 73 of the entire story as a web serial. I'm... not feeling like up to talking anymore. Am just going to join Lyra in a forced silence for a while.

No. You're all getting this rot from chapter 32. Once again I am wrapped from head to toe in heavy leather and chitin, but... this time it chaffs and drags against tender burned flesh.. I didn't heal them. Not because I can't... but because I don't want to.

The horrid pain both helps me stay grounded, but will also be a constant reminder of what I can never feel again. Yep. I'm going to be sitting with those lines for a long time. I'm glad I'm about finished with Depths. I don't even wanted to be tempted to drag Aelinore this low.

I have received a hug from the author and pushed through just a bit farther. I love this story so much. There is so much here to be found amidst the pain and sea of corpses left in the wake of Lyra's anguish.

Well, would you look at that? An apology that comes far too late cut off before it could be voiced. Pleasure and purpose, I both love and hate how well crafted this story is.

KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS killsixbilliondemons.com

To elaborate on my life for Lamentations, this depiction of grief on Awnya's part is sliced right between Lyra falling into the arms of a polycule who have all redefined their bodies. She stumbles into a waking nightmare and finds she cannot, even accidentally, hurt the slime girl.

By the time Awnya's brief lament is done, we cut to a month after Lyra has spent time with these girls. There's been sex, space made available to her when she falls into bad memories. She might even love these girls if she were not convinced that love is something bad you inflict on others.

Lyra can kill people, ripping their souls from their bodies, entirely on accident! She's often trying to recoil away from nightmares whether they find her while she is asleep or awake. My love for Awnya and Tretion is rooted in how they respond to learning this. ❤️‍🩹😭

That Lyra can fall into the arms of someone whose body cannot effortlessly cleave the soul from is so fucking important to me. She's the kind of girl who is well equipped to help Lyra. Even has a past of being treated more like an object. There is so much for Lyra finding trans girls like these.

Reposting this now more than ever. This series is filled with as much gentle and endlessly accomodating love as it is with heartfelt heartache and yearning that pushes its girls to do beautiful things for those they are convinced they have lost.

This story might be centering what are shaping up to become world redefining girls??? For better. AND worse. At the same time. Their stories are so inextricably bound that you do not get one without the other. The emotions are strongly felt in both directions.

Ugh. I have not read more than 5 whole pages of Lamentations without bursting into tears and sobs. It doesn't matter how long it has been since I put down forward progress through the second book. That time only makes every chapter grieving a seperation from Lyra take on added weight.

So anyway, 2 pages later Nevarii hands me the line: Wren is... is like a woman you have to poke a hole in and suck the juices out slowly. Having sex with her is like if the bath were wonderfully cool, but the water is alive and snuggling close and fucking you silly while the other girl in the bath

Is also fucking you silly and being fucked silly herself. I am glad that Lyra gets to spend time in a polycule with a slime girl.

Nooooooo. You can't name the next chapter the Body to Rot and Her Soul to Wander. (Hopeful) This is gonna be a Tretion chappy, isn't it?

It's an Awnya chappy! Definitely seems to be focusing on Tretion though. Gosh. Hearing Tretion just casually drop incredibly distressing lore about the power she's tapped into and immediately discarded because none of is helping her current situation is like... really upsetting.

This girl is confident she could just erase any being's soul at this point. None of that has helped her come any closer to surviving outside her lil pocket plane for longer than a few seconds. Just... Murrrrrrrples.

Okay. I'm exhausted. Not even sure I can find it in me to cry anymore. But I HAVE to finish Her Body to Rot and Her Soul to Wander.

Oh. Well. Um. I guess I know why it is called that. I don't even know what to do with these feelings. How am I ever supposed to talk about this chapter?

Fine. I'm going to give Yuna this. While I still don't think she's done anywhere near enough as a mother to Lyra, I am grateful for what she has done. I don't know what Thendra would do with this information. Maybe she was right to suspect Lyra was no mere Fae. Her origins are... 😭

It is... distressing to learn that dream itself believes that dead things should remain so and enforces it. I have no idea what can gucking qualify for an exception. But it certainly raises some questions about the nature of the Dead Dreamer and Rot that exceptions exist and Lyra is one.

I now want Lyra and Tretion to reuinte even more. I just... I am going to have to push through so gucking much, aren't I? My view of Lyra since breaking down early book 1 is at an all time high. Yet I suspect I am approaching the lowest of her lows. The kind apologies are not accepted for.

I am dreading the inevitable fallout of whatever is driven between Lyra and Rahdian to sour the latest in a long line of relationships for Lyra.

Good morning, class. Be good girls and turn to chapter 9 of your texts and follow along as I read aloud~! "Hetaera were revered performers, often weaving sex and dance and all kinds of art together to form amazing displays."

Share your couples’ art! 🎨

I was gonna give you all more reasons to read Nevarii's Lamentations of the Dead Dreamer. And then a succubus snuck into my room and gushed about like 12 different Lamentations spoilers to the point where it is now 2am and I've cried a lot. Go read. Am too proud of Nevarii for worbs.

It is hard and difficult to push through for honest, well thought out manipulations and abuse reasons. It is still sexy in spite of that. And not in the oh it's okay in the end or anything. We just have a Lesbian who is a spite filled antagonist who has had to deal w/ this rotten dream.

Lyra's actual supporting cast all mean well. And the writer intends well. But mistakes are made. And things get so much worse for Lyra. Sometimes that is the intent. Abusers be like that. But there is an entire third book of really difficult but hard fought healing and redemptions and aaaahhh 😭😭😭😭

There are some ruthlessly fucking mean trans allegory situations baked into Lamentations that has me convinced that Nevarii gets it and understands wtf she is doing. This book really wants to be read between the lines and it be understood that PoV characters have limited perspectives.

There is so much room to grow for a surprising amount of characters. Like, at least 1 character I basically never wanted to see again and another that I am a few chapters away from feeling poorly about getting an entire book to redeem herself and develop an entirely new relationship unlike the 1st.

Also sorry @nevarii.bsky.social but I am still awake saying nice things about you. How do you not expect me to share all the wonderful words you share with meeeee???

Anyway. For the rest of you, for as much as I cannot stand Thendra, if she asked me to help her deal with all the fae? And trust me, that evidence is going to pile up in the I can't stand Thendra but the Fae are worse categories. I wouldn't even hesitate to agree.

So, I'm at Chapter 6: Gifts and Scars. It's... Hard to talk about in the same way that Chapter 8 of Depths of Promises Sworn is. CW: Torture. Torture is hard to talk about. While the effectiveness is always dubious as fuck, its depiction and use in this chapter sticks with me. It's a hard read.

Anyway, obligatory @nevarii.bsky.social to inform her that I am attaching her name to a very cozy bath scene chapter where nothing bad happens and Lyra is "gifted" a rose tinted book into the world of Fae from the perspective of a human.

Ah, dear reader. I have the distinct misfortune of informing you that the torture was the gift. The book that reminds our little trans fae that she used to be human painting all fae as good while some humans are uniquely bad and traumatized? That's the scar.

Thendra: In between testing your limits, I want you to be useful. Study this. *hands Lyra a book that constantly frames her as a uniquely bad person undeserving of being considered among fae who abhor cruelty, torture, and welcome all life and the unique stories attached*

*slams that fucking book shut* I'm sure that will hold up in court. The way Lyra briefly frames her mother? Who will love her forever and what they had will always be... - Lyra, abandoned and beyond the reach by all in the Dead Dreamer's wood. I'm gonna wanna kill some Fae w/ my bare hands.

Anyway, whether intentional or not, Thendra has handed Lyra this useful little "gift" that will constantly reaffirm that Lyra is forever in the wrong and is undeserving of the body she sung into being. I think I missed that my first couple times going through this. I'm upset for later.

Ah. Cool. I'm upset that the author has informed me that she thinks I'm the only one to vocally frame all of this like I have. Even if she was glad I was the one to realize it. Okay. Um. *ruffles papers* Back to the torture??? I guess!? Thendra was never going to be a good person.

I. Am going to be gentle. To Lyra's credit, the amount of spite, and venom, and willingness to consider lying into a Fae Song even though her mother informed her that doing so invites pain. She sticks to bitter truths and puts herself through so much, acknowledging how little Thendra cares.

Only at the very end do we get Lyra singing through all of the agonizing pain to suggest an acceptance that she deserves this, that this pain will help, do we touch the idea that her thoughts adapt and accept this as a reality. It's easy to be proud of Lyra. The book comes after. Reinforcement.

Again, we get little glimpses of the bath water responding to her song. What she does here has effects, even if she does not claim to be well versed in fae song. Thendra puts her through endurance training. Sing until I say stop. Thendra doesn't say stop for so long.