I feel like having to do a big food shop while the world slowly burns is a bit of a piss take.

Eye rolling at the people saying it’s good that Huntley is dead because he won’t be living at the tax payers expense anymore as if a murder investigation and trial are free.

Top rigit. I don’t fuck about when it comes to mugs.

Oh this is IMMEDIATELY better #totp

Proud to say I hated Kula Shaker at the time but I hated most things then. #totp

I hope we get a good year at some point this evening #totp

Worst popstar wardrobes ever. #totp

Why have crufts got rid of the soft fabric tunnel in the agility competition? I’m sad.

You’re welcome. Happy day! 😆

Do you ever think you’re doing ok until you have an actually good day and realise the last few weeks have been really quite bad actually? Asking for a me.

I know there are Hot Cross Bun purists here so I’ll say this quietly The M&S Granny Smith Apple ones are both vegan and fucking delicious.

Me a bit drunk: I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHIT PICTURE OF THE MOON. The moon: Dare, bitch.

Remember everyone

When you might have kidnapped the neighbour’s cat

Watched a tiktok yesterday where it was revealed that all the billionaires with nuclear bunkers in New Zealand won’t actually be able to get there in time. Pleasing.

*WARM ENOUGH TO SIT OUTSIDE KLAXON*

Making a chana saag for dinner 😋

Impossible to tell if she was enjoying this scritch

I’d like to go to sleep but Mr W is doing his best wildebeest impression and my feet are too hot

Llllooooook

This morning I am discovering that beer and wine does not in fact make you feel fine

I’M A FUCKING RAPPER AND I MIGHT KILL YOU

DONNA LEWIS! BRILLIANT! (Anyone who can cite this gets a tenner)

I remember an interview with James Dean Bradfield where he told of meeting Tom Jones and being told “I knew you’d have a good voice because you’re short” 🤣♥️🤣♥️

Yessssssssss embrace the darkness #totp

Just met a Cane Corso for the first time and I LOVE him. He leaned on my leg 😭

Me: dear payroll you have not paid my overtime. This is an outrage. Payroll: yeah, you put it through as normal hours so… Me:

There’s a graffiti war going on in Bristol at the side of the M32. This sign used to say JESUS IS KING. Someone altered it to say JESUS IS KINK and added a rainbow flag. It was then changed to FATHER FORGIVE THEY/THEM. This is the latest iteration

“Aaand…that’s the end of my Ted Talk.”

It’s a little known fact that St George and the Dragon were originally flatmates, and their dispute started when the Dragon decided he couldn’t stand listening to George’s shitty banjo-playing for another second.

Soham murderer Ian Huntley seriously injured in prison attack www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Making a complete mockery of the "three points of contact" rule

Thought I’d have a banana for my elevenes. Realised I’ve already eaten it. ☹️

Please, for the love of geometry, read the alt text

MEEP MEEP MEEEEEEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP-MEEP MEE-EEP

This is the post that saw @newsthump.com banned from Tiktok and their account deleted. Billionaires don't like it when you make fun of fascism, apparently.

Uh oh here comes brother antioch with another round

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I was saying to a friend earlier that my birth chart looks like a pizza that’s been on its side. She said “all your olives are at 7 o’clock” and I’m tempted to use that in all my social media bios.

When you think it’s home time but there’s still 40 minutes to go.

🐝💛

When Cuddles really hates that duck (One for the kids, there).

Not sure I can eat this 🥹

We finished Small Prophets last night. My heart is still warm. Mr W wants to watch the Dectectorists next which I’m v happy about.

Undercover Boss new season spoiler

THIS CAN NOT BE ALLOWED

lol this is the bible Brand took with him to court today