In this weeks issue of Normal As Fuck

Can’t explain this but 3 mins ago just walking into my flat after school run, a guy leaving opposite flat shouts something. Can’t hear because of workmen noise so we approach each other. He looks at me and says, “are you DJ Próvai from Kneecap?” Do they not wear balaclavas? What is going on?

Well

Wish I’d sent this to a fee of my american pals that didn’t last time round

Labour party has the most “stop punching yourself” energy of any political group.

Fun Story. At our kids dance recital last night, our neighbour mentioned that someone was going mental and screaming for ages at end of the game. My brothers and sisters in Christ, i realised that person was me and this was confirmed by my wife.

If you think about it, that was the biggest Hibsing It in all of human events

Lolz

Love to wilfried nancy on that chess move

Martin O’neill is ABOVE christ

Doubt I’ve ever been happier than this

Fuck you hearts. Get it up you

I. Have. Died.

Omg

From excitement to absolute boredom. This game is pish

Hearts more organised. However, if they win i will become a vampire and attack morningside daily

A classic game this is not. Pish.

This is 15 to 20 times worse than going on stage at glastonbury or fujirock. And 80000x less well paid i might add

Never reading this shitrag again. No Lanark. No Poor Things. Fuck off. Ragin

I’m going to be sick all over the whole flat. I canny handle high stakes football, it looks like. Spew. SPEW

Take this list and shove it up your narrow arse www.theguardian.com/books/ng-int...

A younger person than me phoned me when they could have texted. How have we failed them? Not answering that. No way jose

Pro palestine: the police are going in heavy as we buy local baked goods on this march Far right: fucking hate local baked goods. Punch them all

Journalist Ewan Murray has been mugged by reality. Take a week off pal. Brutal shite

Consider this an absolute beast mode bollocking www.scottishfa.co.uk/news/a-scott...

I doubt the banter years will ever end so long as this guy roams earth

America will never recover from Trump. He’s Hibsed it

I’m doing a (most likely) room-clearing DJ set at this tomorrow between 4pm and 6pm. Come doon. Hassle me for requests of songs i don't have. 🫦

But still allows Amerikkka to host. Meh

This is the hardest I’ve laughed in 2026. Maybe in 2025 too. Impossibly it gets funnier the longer it goes on.

Meltdown FC is my favourite thing

For years we were told there was no conspiracy against Celtic when decisions went against us. They were honest mistakes or just poor refereeing. If Beaton and Dallas were really keen to make sure Celtic won that game last night, they did a pretty shit job of it, relying on a handball in 95th min.

Kris Boyd

Matter and anti matter Nygren and anti nygren

Anyone talking about this

Derek McInnes can twice fuck off. Prick

Derek Can fuck off

Kris Boyd Statement

Kris Boyd now is football Goodfellas

Now to watch Kris Boyd be raging

I cannot believe what i just watched

Hard to not think about Nightmare on Elm Street when i see the name Wes Streeting.

Short memory/Self Awareness levels.

Roses are red JD Vance is a pest….

the fella is a dolt

We've finally won the war against woke

Goodbye, oh maker of nervous breakdowns.

MIDI does not work that is all