Ah those summer evening supermarket skies

I would be remiss not to point out that "Tricking Milli Vanilli into performing a concert for a dictator" is LITERALLY a storyline from the 1990s 'Super Mario Bros 3' cartoon 🙃

On your radio tomorrow. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

In a few hundred years we will all be dead but Blair will live on. A skeletal, disembodied head in the heart of the swamp that used to be London, every day a greater and rarer intervention than the last.

Wherever, whenever, we’ll A/S/L together I’ll be there and you’ll be here Via AOL my dear

There’s just no reason for an operating system to be talking to me like this

Expected to be upset to go back to work this morning. I’d rather forgotten I’m setting up a new IT suite in a deserted school with very good air-conditioning.

Rowling. Reeling incoherently about her empty mansion, nauseous at the thought of that abomination, the spork

It’s the bank holiday lads

Some welcome coverage from the Daily Nation (apologies for the screengrab) - as I say here, time is of the essence in finding out what happened to my sister, and we've faced nothing but obstruction so far:

Ok Sally, it’s been a while

Jet2 came up with a fun new way to liven up our journey home. Sending the front half of the plane to the corridor that connects to the back, and vice versa. Obviously the herds of AM Airport Pint retirees are taking this with the grace, calm and dignity we’d all expect.

Quote post with a fictional band that isn't Spinal Tap

Going back for more oysters

A guy here recommended me a nice worker’s cafe for lunch, and it’s full of elderly Scots and Canadians arguing loudly about Donald Trump while Portuguese diners give them side eye. Wonder if this is what Hemingway used to feel like.

Sci-fi had prepared me for this moment

Determined to have a nice time in this cafe even though I just clocked what they’ve written on their stairs

Reading Bonjour Tristesse and unsure if we’re supposed to find the behaviours of various characters in the early chapters weird and intense, or is it just they they’re all French?

Missing all the action while I’m in Portugal. Operation ’Save Roger from his inability to work a nipple’ underway back in Wylam

And now Tavira

And good morning Faro

I like to imagine, for example, the Italians, or the French or really any other top tier food nation, watching the Americans and the British tear into each other over each other's cuisines with the same disgust as they would watch two mangy strays fighting in an alley over a decomposing rat carcass.

When you’re Johnny Depp but the other guy is Iggy Pop 😃

Top travel tip. Twenty quid more for a seat with extra leg room on Jet2 and you get to sit next to all the awkwardly tall hot guys

Sick of her life already

Pick a Bond from the photos you have already on your phone

Reading some James Bond books and I really think the movies don’t do the him justice. He should constantly be saying stuff like “I’m having an internal monologue about killing myself”

Here we go, she’s popped out three so far and hasn’t eaten a single one!

Oh we are going to watch people lose their minds as he shifts gear into Labour PM mode and all the disappointments that will entail

Can’t believe there wasn’t a single Dragonball Z manga on that Guardian list

It’s the most wonderful time of the yeeeeaaarrrrr

While I hadn’t exactly forgot, it’s only just struck me they I’m fucking off to Tavira on Monday.

I really think we'd all be a happier society if all this was being decided for us in shady smoke-filled rooms.

Anyway. I have been to the cinema distressingly few times this year. So MUBI Go has been renewed and I minced along to see Romería and thank god this was a Spanish film because it was wonderful, but if it has been British or American it would have stank

I am hearing that on his deathbed Wes Streeting received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!

4DX ‘Triangle of Sadness’ experience sounds great

when bsky doesn’t like my posts

The whole discussion between Starmer & Streeting has been released

drop some TEETH

Michael Bay’s Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom

I surrendered and tried Starfleet Academy and the first episode has about five characters who are what you would get if Wesley Crusher and Tom Paris had a baby, and just of those characters would be too much

Keir Starmer every single week

Envisaging this like those old saucy seaside postcards, where a little yapping terrier is pulling at Pepys’ frilly knickers. (Pepys meanwhile is pushing his skirt down and holding his other hand to his mouth in embarrassment, his sword dangling useless and forgotten)

In London. My cheeks are red. I am shaking. Somebody was playing Belaric house really loudly on the bus. I thought it was teenagers at first, but when I went to confront them it turned out to be this man, who ignored my pleas for silence and turned up the volume instead.

Hoping he raises his sword against the blood red dawning sun of a new day, turns Snowmane to face the assembled lines of the Rohirrim, and screams ‘Death!’ Before leading the charge on the Mayor’s office in Hackney

Look how they massacred my girl

Every photo of this man makes him look like that photo of Cilla Black when she stole that guy’s table in a restaurant and refused to move

I feel a lot of David Attenborough's hard work with nature preservation is to cover for how much of a mess his brother made of that dinosaur theme park.

Is he dead yet? (Keir’s career edition)

Absolute scenes in Newcastle