One too many kir royales last night, back on my leftover party food for breakfast before work nonsense this morning, running late, finally feels like Christmas 🎅

Tonight’s viewing, getting my car-penter on

In the outpouring of love for Rob Reiner, and all the shouting at Trump, I somehow missed that he and his wife were murdered. I only found out when the police announced a suspected parricide. Genuinely upsetting stuff.

3 night euro city break, countless cafe terrace wines, and *ZERO* cigarettes. I'd like my medal now please.

This is where I’m posting from

Consecutive SNBC/Eurostar/LNER survival pack

My emotional reaction to climbing the Belfort in Bruges

Walking into 2026

Our ‘Two and a Half Men’

Idly scrolling and thought this was the computer from ‘Red Dwarf’

When the couple upstairs stop shouting but you want to hear the end of the argument

London baby!

Ok, so got plenty of recommendations for Brussels, not many for Bruges though. Apart from quote that film and eat chips what do people do there?

My most horror-movie-coded belief is trains should contain emergency hammers for when you’re stuck for three hours next to a person with an annoying laugh

And again…

There was a massive fire one street over from me, Chillingham Road closed, my favourite shawarma place blazing high, and I didn’t notice a thing despite being thirty seconds walk from here

Tonight’s viewing

Just found out one of the teachers I support was born in 2002

Watching an art documentary. My dad walks in. Tracey Emin compares the whites in a Turner painting to spunk. My dad walks out again.

Five minutes google and I have come to the shocking realisation that Michael Crawford is hot, what a hangover day this is turning out to be

Quote with your model of masculinity.

Couple of months after making some chilli jam (and forgetting about it) I remembered I fucking love Bacon, Brie & Chilli Jam sandwiches (and yet have never tried making my own). So here we fucking go.

Christmas works night out. Watching the panic in the management team’s face as they’re singing along to ‘Fairytale of New York’ and they suddenly realise it’s the original lyric version has made my night.

banks should look and think like this, end of

Jesus Christ in heaven above you are my god damn BANK

I considered doing a little crowd funder but I don't really feel comfortable doing that, as there are so many people crowd funding for basic necessities and essentials. And this is not that! But if I can sell 15 copies of the book in question, that would cover it. And seems an appropriate method

It’s time. Vroom fucking vroom

Me when I bought all five nieces/nephews Christmas gifts then had to get them to the metro

We've all done it.

One for the bucket list, first time on a metro that needed to make an emergency stop

Magnificently half-arsed, extra points for changing the colours too, why shouldn’t one of the glories of modern tv look like a basic sitcom?

winchester geese eh yes I see

Good god… come for the revolting looking egg mousse, stay for the cradle snatching jokes about 12YO choirboys

Just been told Tom Stoppard did extensive rewrites on ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’ AND ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace’. There was me thinking I only really knew him for the magnificent ’Arcadia’. RIP.

Night out in town cancelled (because my friends are afraid of rain) so I’m breaking out the campy ghost stories. That handsome Mr. Kidd seems a decent sort, hope nothing untoward occurs.

Me (IT Support): hello help desk You: uh my screen keeps playing idyllic 1930s scenes of english kids in boats having adventures Me (turning to camera): sounds like ransome-ware 😎

You can keep your Poirots and your Marples, the greatest murder mystery moment on tv is when John Nettles discovers Selina Cadell has been popped into a tumble drier

"You will be visited by three spirits." The three spirits:

This man wouldn’t need to shoot anyone, one look from him and most of us would just melt into a puddle on the floor

Watching some warm Bond on a cold Wednesday. Fully prepared for Fleming, Dahl Sean Connery to serve up some unreconstructed horrors but fuck me the open tune is one of the best Bond songs we ever had. youtu.be/UWw-WE2vBT8?...

This is painfully reminding me of Liz Truss

Tom Baker you say? Reading the Chrestomanci audiobooks you say? What?!

RIP Udo Kier, a true original 📽️ his one and only social media post:

Obligatory smoking hot black and white pic of recently departed legendary actor Udo Kier

‘Every now and then, I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry’ (turn around) ‘Every now and then, I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes’ (turn around, bright eyes) ‘Every now and then, I fall apart!’

alfred: dere is a nonce billionaire flyin liddle guls aroun on his air plane sir. he has his own island batman: i don't care

'Watson!' Exclaimed Holmes, his voice crackling with urgency. 'We must move quickly if we are to prevent that devilishly cunning Professor Moriarty from making good his escape'.

Vague memories of being bored by film adaptions of E.M. Forster’s other books left me unprepared for just how funny ‘Maurice’ is. Listening to the Peter Firth audiobook while I was working this morning and burst out laughing a few times.

My morning’s work at the allotment, to misquote Ian Malcolm, was one big pile of shit.