Make fun of kitchen table poly long enough and you'll fall in love with a mutual friend you both get along with well enough to all move in together I stg

the hardest trap to break free of is Kiss Sleepy Girlfriend Before Work. She and her warm blankets have a gravitational pull

leave it to me to spend the week partying with a bunch of porn stars and not even realize it lmao

lamest part about slowing your roll in alcoholism is realizing how much of what you blamed on liquor is just your shittyass memory lmao

girlhood is a spectrum.

Witches ♥️

They paved paradise, Put up a parking lot. Paradise said: That hurt, but let me tell you about geologic time

I was in the woods when I stumbled upon a ruined old cistern where various mice and woodland creatures were having a weekend-long solstice feast. They welcomed me with an acorn cap full of dandelion liqueur, but I don't don't how to tell that's not enough fuckin booze for me, I'm huge you dumb shit

hello from above the clouds

me: gotta take my wedding ring off so I can go down on my wife properly wife: it's like putting your crocs into sport mode

went from hanging out with someone who made fun of Eric Whitacre to someone who sang for Eric Whitacre whiplash hahaha

@hazelzen.bsky.social dis u?

my heart is content in a way it hasn't been in months promises are fully honored, the world has woken into spring, the work is being done.

The Garden Of Memory

ok I GUESS I'm ok with being at work today

apologizing while you're breaking up with someone is like a land acknowledgement - you're willing to admit you're wrong, you're completely unwilling to do anything about it but also you want to look like you came out on the moral upper hand

sakura 🥰

Sorry. I can't go out tonight. I'm watching a video on repeat.

*snorting lines of Fun Dip off the bathroom counter* EVERYTHING'S FINE

Improv classes are bullshit, since when does biting someone not count as "yes, and"

spent the week craving tales from after the end of the world, spoken in a fervent jumble of words by a mad devotee stayed up till the wee hours devouring it whole again

good morning to the crows fucking loudly on the power lines this morning while I was out feeding the chickens, hell yeah guys it's spring

here’s a quick comic about Charles

my last patient of Friday had a service dog who was Very Concerned that I wanted her to down-stay behind the leaded glass shield and kept trying to check on her person long story short, I had to hit the exposure foot pedal through a dog butt for the first/probably last? time ever & it made my day 💖

Met some ladies for lunch

A short muzzled punk werewolf mask I made in 2015! Was a fun design idea! Need to make another punk werewolf!!! #werewolf #fursuitfriday #fursuit

"I wasn’t allowed this, I was never allowed this—the only shape of woman allowed to me was future-husband’s broodmare, mummy’s doll. I wasn’t allowed this." 😭😭 substack.com/inbox/post/1...

ugh I accidentally joined a cult this winter don't try autumncrisp grapes, they'll ruin you for everything else

MY CAT CAME OVER AND STUCK HER TONGUE IN MY EAR

hey babe wake up, new flaming dumpster just dropped

Re: Paul Weiss EO "Like any self-important adolescent, I spent most of my hs history classes wondering what I would do in the moments before true horror or chaos or where my values were tested & demanded great sacrifice. I do not wonder anymore. I know who I am. I thought I knew who we all were."

In case you've never read Boy's Night, here's the whole thing on Imgur. I'd link the artist's site, but they seem to have taken it down. imgur.com/gallery/boys...

gender euphoria

help meeee the graveyard groundskeeper was hot

shoutout to my wife for driving my sad ass to the park so I could cling to my favorite tree Saturday night. it's good to be reminded what it looks like when someone cares enough to support you through their own troubles

Ah, but you left out the best part: www.livescience.com/planet-earth...

Listen, it's ok if you already need an escape from all of it. Any night, you can go outside, look up at the stars, and remember that we are so small in the grand scheme of -- damnit is that one of his rockets blowing up

watching these two say their last goodbyes was the sweetest, most heart-rending thing I have ever witnessed in my life so much love from the tree to the apple and back again

I knew when you made up your mind we'll be there to send you off I wish I had faith I would die as graciously as you are, but I will bask in your glow and honor your memory

words on deciding where to stand when everything is lava

it is actually really simple, guys - if the government ignores the law, we ignore the order.

it's because most of them are also the leopards eating your face party, just with a smiley face and a rainbow emoji

unlikely friends

we're waiting till the porn festival starts in a taqueria next to a table full of belligerently drunk aussies, I love my life