Frank Herbert I apologize for ever doubting you

The Ottawa Senators are for the children (afternoon playoff games finish well before bedtime)

Sorry to everyone else, but since I am the protagonist of reality, you must accept that Saturday afternoon games are good actually.

Game 1 on at a Euro Friendly time? I am invincible and will never die.

Store window in Vienna. “All fascists are expendable. No one is illegal.”

Release the playoff schedule, you cowards! I need to know precisely when and how badly my life is going to be ruined for the next two weeks.

DAVID BOWIE: take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy A PASSING NEOLIBERAL: actually it would be fine as long as the lawman was beating up the *right* guy

Just thought of one: The Crotty Kid

one crazy thing about the current american administration is how they make all of their enemies look noble in comparison. how do you get into a beef with the catholic church where the good guy is the pope? incredible.

i can tell tarvis green is a good coach because he does lots of things that i would do

Pleased to announce that I am prepping materials for Your Half-Assed Round 1 Playoff Preview.

These were the standings the day David Perron got traded to Detroit. Do you think the Sens thought they were doing him a favour at the time?

Linus Ullmark 5-1-0 with a .926 sv% since this video:

ok can we put our boots on their fucking throats here, lads? hack the bone a bit? show killer instinct?

MR. BURNS: you there, amadio! battle through a 9 pitch at bat that draws a walk MICHAEL AMADIO: you got it, skip

Fun intermission activity: sort the Eastern Conference standings by goal differential and scroll to the bottom

While I generally like this TSN broadcast, Keith Tkachuk apologia is a bridge too far. "He was calling out *somebody*", was he Mike Johnson? Don't want to say that it was the goaltender who was just nominated for a Masterson because of his highly publicized struggles with mental health? Why not?

BRADY TKACHUK IN TSN INTERVIEWS: i love my teammates, and our fans. we have the greatest group of guys in the world here and we just want to win for the city of ottawa. BRADY TKACHUK ON HIS PODCAST: i am the mike eruzione of golf. matthew, what are your favourite tax rates around the league?

Drake Batherson's status with respect to seeing the Kingdom of Heaven is still highly dubious.

Ridly Grieg, I do not apologize because I am familiar with your game and that is why I didn't think you could do that.

That TD delivery robot commercial is the worst thing I've ever seen.

I say this: this feels like a playoff game in the sense that the score is 0-0 yet my blood pressure is high enough to actuate hydraulic construction equipment.

Hey, just started tuning in to the Sens game, quick question: what the fuck is going on?

How many times have you guys checked the standings today? I'm up to 7.

Audible sighs coming from the chess tournament hall as an 1800-rated player is holding up the next round because he's unable to convert a rook endgame up 2 passed pawns against a 2100-rated player.

Recent events have shown that the most dangerous religion to global stability is American Evangelical Christianity and I think someone should ask Sam Harris if he will admit to being wrong on the most critical point of his intellectual career and do the right thing by going into voluntary exile.

[wrist surgery] chabot: i’m so nervous crotty: it’s gonna be ok don’t worry [after surgery] chabot, waking up: wait where’s crotty doctor: who do u think gave u the wrist RT if you cried 😿

This is, and I'm going to use the term I read in a medical journal to describe it, fucking insane.

Joke's on you, most of my favorite hockey fans are already Math Perverts.

I have seen one good example of this plate

Sens could be 99% to make the playoffs after tonight if all the games break right, or fall to 76% to make the playoffs if all the games break wrong.

If Ullmark starts 2 of the final 4 games of the season, he'll set a career high for games started in a season.

Do I know this team or what?

Sens look like deep-fried dogshit in a sock of late, so watch them inexplicably beat Carolina somehow.

Incredible Candidates tournament for Naka haters so far

What's the matter, babe? You've barely touched your Falcolate.

I am going through the Cursed Tkachuk podcast trying to find exactly what has everyone so upset and I cannot fucking believe how much these fucking people talk about golf.

youtube thumbnail looks like a threat

On this Trans Day of Visibility, I have a message to everyone in the trans community: I think you're all cool as fuck and I love that you exist.

objectively the funniest critique an american could level at another country

FRANCE: we're fancy WORLD: ok FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich is our national lunch WORLD: FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich with an egg is its wife

Folks, we're back.

The Senagoth Lounge is open for our LEGENDARY Tet Special. Tet List: - Uggs on the Ground™ Report from the 100s - Tarvis By Tet: The Verdict Get it on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-unF... Get it on iTunes: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/0... Get it on Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/3pxF...

It's tight but he is just on

Jon Cooper sinks. Kucherov merchant, couldn't coach Team Canada to a Gold Medal, clearly doesn't wear sunscreen even though he lives in fucking Florida. A fool.

James Reimer inspires doubt in me. He makes the routine look exceptional.

Probably my most conservative opinion is that you shouldn't able to get a crispy chicken wrap with potato wedges at Tim Hortons

Wait if all those people are at the Lightning game, who is running the local Sea-Doo dealerships?