People don’t fall for me often but when they do they get kinda scarily obsessed. I’ve been proposed to 4 times, yet I can’t for the life of me find a date

Bug and i talked about how if an apocalypse ever happened we would hold each other’s hands and walk into the ocean together

Mom?

Todd was my neighbor for a while, gave kids full size candy bars at Halloween. Big Head Todd & The Monsters - Sister Sweetly #Music #MusicSky #Vinyl #VinylSky #VinylCommunity #VinylCollectors #VinylRecords #NowPlaying #NowSpinning

Forgot I had fb dating and just got hit up by this 100% gay guy who’s looking for someone to hang with and TO DO CHORES FOR WITH NOTHING IN RETURN bitch please go grocery shopping for me and I’ll literally do anything for you

Well my family canceled thanksgiving so anyone wanna do anything?

Let’s all go around the table and say one thing that sucks dick

Jenna said she took a pic of talking to Robb on the phone then she went to her room and came back and I was asleep on the floor

David foster Wallace? What is this, a book or a Bible king adopting a claymation dog

Collin keeps calling movie characters hussie

Wait why are ppl talking about wicked again isn’t that like old news?

Son of a bitch insipidus is playing at my bar tonight but I am exhausted

I actually didn’t have to teach today so I played sudoku, talked with the kids, and decorated joes classroom with a paper chain I made lmao

HELP what baby gift do i get joes kid hazel Ann??? My go to is always books or whale stuffed animals but I gave him kids books for Christmas last year, idk

He went to devo with us and Bryan asked him to take a pic, here is me yelling “don’t fucking just take a selfie I swear to god” and this is what he took

TMI but I got my period the first time in over a year, and I’m overjoyed, but I forgot how much this hurts

Happiness is your friend brushing your hair

Got this text from the guy who sent me the poem at 3am then later texted “I have a strange question” and never followed up. If only I could live life like this

i fckin love my roommates <333

They’re remaking gruesome playground injuries on Broadway and I just remember acting in *that* scene at 16 for my theater class. I hated acting anyways, but it was way too relatable and traumatic and my teacher said “it’ll make me heal” fuck that

Criminal. Thought this was one of my abusive exes or rapists. Fucking freaked me out. Knew it was probably a scam, but these people still try to hit me up with different numbers and it’s been years.

Collin Jenna and I are all wearing Jenna’s Kesha shirts

finally did it, I accidentally said fuck while teaching. Middle of the lesson too, just slipped out, to myself, but they all heard. The kids got so jazzed and would not stop giving me shit.

When I get sad sometimes I think about how my youngest cousin (25) told me I’m his fav cousin and he’s always looked up to me. We had so many heart to hearts. Whatever happens I can’t disappoint chuck. Or Robb. Wow I actually do love my family

Do you guys remember that Jesse eisenberg interview? where people cant come to a consensus about if they’re flirting or if they hate each other? I think they’re flirting 100% but I want to know how other ppl see this youtu.be/ya-CrS3eKMM?...

New side job

Over the past couple weeks I’ve decided I hate my bedroom and desperately need to change everything

Someone put this in my mailbox at work?

What does it mean when a guy who’s hardly talked to you in months sends you this at 3am? And how tf should I respond?

No fucking idea where I was going with this playlist??? It’s a little frightening?

This and some wine and 4 cigarettes

The enabler of my enabler is my friend

letting the neighborhood kids throw rocks at my head to turn me docile

Two funny looking cats trying to get the cat food at the same time last night.😃💖

A shame Dick Cheney died a free man, honestly.

Thinking about that in in Afghanistan when Cheny came to visit and everyone meeting him had to turn in their weapons because they were worried about a troop assassination

(first day as a therapist): BOOORRRING

Potato is a lil like me I think? Temperamental about touching but likes back & head scratches, doesn’t like when I get close to his face, likes spider plants, is up at 5am every day, wants what he can’t have

We have to come up with a different word than “vibes”

Cleaning out the various “fuck it buckets” and “doom bowls” around the house and I’ve found so many treasures including a fuck ton of weed

Also the girl I make flashcards for in home room got like a 90% on her test today and I don’t think she’s ever gotten that high of a score on anything with vocab

Was so worried about how I’ve been teaching math the past two weeks but the kids took their unit quiz today and it’s the best they’ve done on a quiz so far this year :)

calling the crisis hotline should just connect you with another depressed person so you can bounce ideas off each other

Sometimes I think about how ian Mackaye knows I exist and fucking hates my guys

Hate that Brian Jonestown massacre tickets are $55

Guy at urgent care taking out the infected stitches asked what color gauze I wanted out of and he was like “lemme guess” and we said the same color at the same time and then he gave me a hi five

Listening to butthole surfers “This music is exactly what your sunglasses are like” “Like wow loved you in natural born killers”

“Uh oh guys I’m in a silly goose mode” “We’re all going to jail”

Eddie jokes around a lot, but last night when he first saw me in my clown costume he said so seriously “oh my god you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”

I think being stuck in traffic is good and I’m not willing to try any alternatives to it!!!!!!!!!!!!