Yaroslav Askarov for Calder. Argue a fucking wall

"Hi I'm Gabriel Bortoleto and welcome to Jackass."

My FIL is a professor at Benedict, so hell fuckin yeah man

Guess the cats out of the bag, I got a new tattoo everyone

Summary of the released NASCAR text messages

But barely finishing inside the leaders circle is okay if you're his special boy!

The "SHE'S BALD! SHE'S BALD AND SHES TORTURING PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAIR!" meme is gonna do astronomical numbers when Logano commits on track terrorism next year

MACKLIN CELEBRINI OT GWG HAT TRICK! 3-2 #THEFUTUREISTEAL

MACKLIN MOTHERFUCKING CELEBRINI

I know sometimes it's confusing but tripping the goalie is a pretty clear cut that tripping the goalie is in fact goaltender interference

Put him in the BMW Hypercar you cowards

How tf are people still shocked that Rick Hendrick is a bad person who does bad things? This is a man who was convicted of felonies and most definitely *allegedly* had a guy whacked for starting his own competing business

Cam Waters driving like an ass and being rewarded with a popped tire and the end of his championship hopes

Will Brown on some shit to start the race man

Like clockwork as he's plus 9 already!

Andretti said since they can't fuck up Colton's pitstops anymore so they will fuck up everyone's by committee now

Like clockwork

If Will Brown weren't the world's worst qualifier he'd be putting up similar numbers to Feeney this year. I swear every race this year has been start like 15th, 16th, or 17th and finish top 5 somehow.

Every time I leave your mom's house

Got voluntold to run a 5k this morning AMA

Jack Hughes in his Victor Rask era apparently

How THEEEEEEEE FUCK do you put up only 16 shots against the worst team in the league??

Sharks!

17 points in 17 games now

Colin Graf. Game over 2-1 in OT #TheFutureIsTeal

THE SAN JOSE SHARKS ARE CURRENTLY IN PLAYOFF POSITION

SHARKS WIN! SHARKS WIN! SHARKS WIN!

WILL SMITH!!

16 points in 16 games now

SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS!

The San Jose Sharks are 7-2-1 in their last 10

SAFETY!

GUS-SPLOSIUON

4K screencaps? 4K screencaps.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Will Smith!

Everyone is (rightfully) focusing on Celebrini's insane start to the year, but Will Smith has 14 points in 15 games. #TheFutureIsTeal

Indycar is trying to tempt me into poor financial decisions with their end of season sale

And with that Macklin Celebrini currently is tied for the most points in the NHL!

The San Jose Sharks may never lose again

hmm Sting is blue, Goblins are near

Super cool that NASCAR's stupid format has stupid consequences that reach beyond their series

I bet this goes hard if you're fucking stupid

The Scots know ball

The balls on NASCAR to call asking about tickets after the last two days

*To the tune of Shots by LMFAO* SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS! SHARKS!