i think we should give you a raise for being stupid

interesting note from apple music replay is that the song that plays every time i start my car played 32 times this year and t That’s It

unsurprising

my new catchphrase is "we gotta kill these motherfuckers"

Day one of my advent calendar that gives me, one part at a time, the gun that can kill Santa

i do this

next customer to say christmas pajamas or grinch shirt gettin smacked

i have taken some of the most powerful people on this planet to the coast in my truck

this book is the lore reason morgan wallen threw that chair

Vic Frankenstein? The swiss scientist?

once i learn hot cross buns on this terrible keyboard it’s over for you hoes

‘member ben ten

‘member kevin eleven

doctor hurricane katrina

how to fake smoking cigs

The shadow is the body and he casts the man

Leonardo da Vinci's Greatest Hits, 1982 https://botfrens.com/collections/27/contents/5079

this is my Basquiat room, where i recreate all my favorite Basquats on the wall with markers

coworker of mine is asking for guidance on going to a family wedding in a settlement in israel and all i keep picturing is a reverse everything is illuminated situation where eugene visits a country of jonfens

the chatbot that handles billing for my car insurance company CSAA charged me $271 every day for a week for some reason lmao i am fucked if they don’t put that shit right back in time for rent

i had a dream i was helping this really rich couple with a baby checkout at my store and the guy didn’t want his id scanned for the beer and im like no problem i’ll punch it in by hand and the birth year had the eye of horus in it and it took forever to find on the pos system keyboard

good morning

OH BOY ERASER HEAD BABY? FOR ME? YOU SHOULDNT HAVE!

the sort of place where they eat what they run over on the road — raw

chudler named sarge

chudler named lance corporal

today i play the role of unc

squad automatic whopper

doctor coldbeer

if you put $100,000 in a certificate account the interest would give you an income of like 4k a month

D-D-D-DJ PUKESHOES

i live by the law laid out in law by yo gotti feat e-40

good art should fuck your mother and kill your father and pluck out its own eyeballs and get blood everywhere

quicksound

the whole time i was getting electrolysis the girl next to me was playing a mix of stomp clap hey, AI country, and katy perry on her phone and at first i was like “noooo” but now im realizing, thank you i dont associate any good songs with getting my face shocked for four hours :D

polishhhh vodkaaaa

it’s a thanksgiving miracle charlie brown

oh that video of the lady going down the boston cop slide actually is very scary

i’m so used to walking in boots i kinda walk in sneakers like im wearing high heels

I misread this image so badly that I can only really hope to illustrate what I saw. ( Also a good excuse for an #art study )

doctor country

another cock in the murder machine

working with this soundcloud rapper really is funny because he never stops freestyling except to answer questions

sketch

David foster Wallace? What is this, a book or a Bible king adopting a claymation dog

it’s kinda funny getting electrolysis in november. a few years ago i was doing movember as a bit now im doing it so the follicles are long enough to get a good grip on and be gone forever

back on my tuna lunches