I LOVE YOU! YOU DON'T DIE YET!

my new catchphrase is "we gotta kill these motherfuckers"

Day one of my advent calendar that gives me, one part at a time, the gun that can kill Santa

Would you like to pay us to teach robots how to navigate urban streets to find you wherever you are? What if we throw in a free burrito?

You shouldn't waste time talking to me. You should find healing.

lesbian revenge friday

good morning

When will Harbor Freight start carrying melee weapons?

Yesterday my partner and I counted all the ads along Chicago's Brown Line for "Friend," a company selling an AI chatbot pendant, and tallied how many of those ads were defaced. Still working on a longer piece on this, but here's the quick and dirty: we counted 104 "Friend" ads total, 42 defaced.

"Wise Principles sounds with the clarity of brass, endures with the strength of steel and shines with the splendour of gold" - The Three Metals Declaration

RSD is like "Bro thinks he's off the team 💀"

my cis gay guy boss told me i look "even more like a woman" today

Under a Regime of Wise Principles, the "World Cup" will be a vessel from which everyone is welcome to drink from, as a symbolic gesture of unity between all peoples

ough

love to give a girl the opportunity to show her mettle

my girlfriend is like if mordecai rigby was a beautiful woman and i think thats pretty cool

the next time you feel trapped and scared and angry at yourself, reach out to someone you care about and haven't talked to in a minute and be nice to them

young trannies are like 😭 where are all the tops?? 🥲 and then hit the most powerful trans futch they have ever seen with "sir"

as ever, the moon is a harsh teacher, and her lessons come when she pleases. back to class for me, goodnight. i love you.

ok i’m aw- ok i’M AWake

it makes me feel nice to go to sleep in my bed. sweet dreams, i love you.

if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam

when your only tool is a fascist education, everything looks like a math equation.

please

Wine by the sword Dine by the sword

beautiful boy's big breakfast is now being served in the canteen

is it good for the economy if the 2 kinds of jobs are the kind that make you miserable and tired enough to spend 35 dollars to get a burrito delivered to your front door and the kind where you fetch the burrito and get 2 of the 35 dollars

i would give anything for some really good news right now

my life situation just got extremely dire and i’m on the hook for $2.5k in hospital bills on top of it all! anything helps me stay afloat <3

Folk music is good, because you sometimes see a place name on a sign and you think to yourself "I know a song about that place" and it'll be about a massacre or bigamy.

last vestiges of last night's eye-black got me looking like j d vance

Ranch dressing are things like cowboy hats and blue jeans. I don't know, it doesn't matter.

at the end of the day i lay down my head and i know my heart is protected by the strongest woman i know

j******

i love you october. i'll be better next time.

this has been the worst october of my fucking life

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

i hate talking online

i am so goddamned fucking tired of therapy talk. say what the fuck you mean, don't waste my time with some trope you heard on tiktok

It should be acknowledged at some point that part of the reason ICE is able to operate so easily in Chicago is because by design our streets were already full of massive vehicles driven way too fast by sociopathic freaks

🚨Having a laugh alert🚨 I'm having a laugh, and I'm allowed to have this laugh specifically. It is not necessary for you to clarify anything

getting some hot forehead-on-shoulder action tonight 😎

whatever

sometimes what my girls need is for me to fight a doctor at the crack of dawn and that's life

sending this around again because im not even close to paying off the hospital bills www.gofundme.com/f/samantha-r...

“Breaking bread, boy, you couldn't break a thread; making threats, boy, you couldn't make a friend.”

to all jims, jimmies, jamies, jameses, and jaimes: you know what you did

me: can someone take me to the hospital i just got hit by a tandem bike my white friend: it do be like that sometimes my gregorian friend: it jubilate deo my surfer friend: it's tubular today yo my ABA handler: *snaps* Hey. Calm. Let's sing Bear Necessities? me: look for the bear necessities