Feel pure bad, I don't like the taste or scent of meat but I need to cause more chicken nuggets production because I want to cause the end of the world guess I'll have to fuck sam altman but I'm not happy about it

can't stop thinking about his big bazoingas

JK Rowling is now represented by a trans person in the Scottish parliament. Absolutely incredible.

I think it would've made more thematic sense in KCD2 if the female love interest was a Guinevere stand in compared to sir hans' galehaut like obviously Jitka is the Guinevere in this scenario but Lancelot (Aka Henry) never chooses between the two

something about alcohol unlocks memories in my brain and I'm like oh wait i forgot that happened

one time I pretend got married to this Italian man at a party when we were both drunk (there was a priest there idk why) because he was straight and we thought it'd be funny and then he ended up going to prison for killing his brother 🙂

we genuinely should bring back esperanto like girl I'm so tired of gendering tables

We join these in holy scat-rim-ony 🤵💍🤵

me and who? 👀

Pretty much I would let Istvan Toth know that he is a FAT CUNT and the chaperon he gave me was not something that I would particularly buy for myself. They were old maiden type of chaperons

pussy so good he made me protestant

wait can I play KCD2 in Swedish? maybe THAT would finally get me to learn it

putting a sounding rod up my dick in solidarity with the tampon girls out there ✊

genuinely do want ireland, scotland and wales to become whole and independent but the thought of us scousers having to live with the rest of england? 🤢

just mixed up jfk and jkr I'm so sorry queen I would never mean to do that

pussy feeling so lynchian this evening

Hantavirus patients getting transferred to the hospital down the road from me, the same one they housed the first covid patients in and swore wouldn't spread into the general population and then immediately did

Hans Capon outside Trosky gate

my family and friends when I start talking about kingdom come deliverance

Hans Capon as a FishMan Happy MerMay 🧜‍♂️

gm

BREAKING: Chris Pratt has been cast as Istvan Toth in the kingdom come deliverance movie Source: Deadline

oh my serotonin is not high enough to be reading Lancelot and Galehaut stuff on this spring morning

why am I always shocked and dismayed when my depression comes back when I don't take my antidepressants like get real

Just remembered zendaya hat theory and I'm cryin

Survival of the clitest

Love it when Americans say mirror dead weird it's cute me-yer!

I saw what you scrawled in blood with your vagina brush in the bathroom mirror BITCH

I like the trickle down trauma-nomics method of being in a relationship where I reveal something wild and strange that happened to me, I let it sit and he/she/they absorbs it, processes it and then they're ready for round 2

Anyway who up jerking their gherkin

this is proper tickling me, autism saved me from being taken advantage of once again lmao

Just realised my English teacher was trying to groom me, I thought he just got those tickets to an 18+ production of The Tempest (I was 17) just for me and him to be nice and afterwards I was like ok bye LMAOOO

Me after sitting through an entire Oedipus Rex production: well that fucking sucked, no dinosaur :/

I think there should be a horror comedy where a plane of americans crash land in Liverpool and they think they're in a strange alien place and don't understand anyone and get mugged, they can call it Scran-ibal Holocaust

It's always HERoin and never HEoin 😔

actually my only condition is yous have to watch UNNHhhh while you eat me. thank you x

not really sure why we don't eat dead people like once we're sure they're free of diseases and that like why don't we chomp down like they're not doing anything with it when I die? slather me in some garam masala sauce and give me to the cannibals I'm literally not using it anymore x

she was so cunt for this, I wanna steal her look like the boots

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE STOCK MARKET CRASH

just found out tom mckay and luke dale are straight

annoying my boyfriend is the last bastion of american freedom

omg who sent this????

do you reckon there's people out there that goon over Gerry Adams

Not to be a bitch but how come Jackie Kennedy didn't cast counter spell on that day in 1963

Remember that period of time when I was obsessed with Gone Girl and I couldn't stop quoting it every 30 seconds that was weird

Me explaining the plot to a movie I've seen 57 times in the last week to my bf

Just remembered when I went the cat shelter and did due diligence and asked if the cat had AIDS (meaning FIV) and the dude was like "that's a HUMAN virus..." I know you fucking asshole, but we're at the cat shelter CONTEXT CLUES

"Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart" would love to Mitski but my boyfriend says I don't put the washing on properly cause he's proper anal about this for some reason