MY MAN 😭

think I was too honest on the doctor's appointment questionnaire because I got a call from the medical centre saying that if needed I can call the crisis line 💀

I'm in the gooner, watching you bate her OOOHHHHHH

Australian secret society, the IllumiNAURti

Just misread Senegal as Smeagal

first piece of 2026 in the books 🫡 #hansry #kcd

Me at the gender studies murder mystery event: The Judith Butler did it!

Imagine if the bottom had to gape his hole open a couple hours before and leave it to oxygenate like a fine wine

"I'm going to be good and go to bed early so I can get a headstart tomorrow" Me at midnight making curry frantically: what was the first colour?

elf who doesn't go into the west and starts a religion about aliens, Elrond Hubbard

Do you think The Outsider from Dishonored had whale tail

thinking about how the ocean backs it up and dumps it for the moon

(Dragon)Born to Die

KCD pilled — #kcd2 #hansry

"SNL did a skit about Harry Potter-" the way my soul shrank. I truly do not want either of these but combined? this is my room 101

The Frot-oman Empire

Imagine if Istvan Toth went to Constantinople and got ye olde 1403 turkey teeth and rejected hair plugs and that's why he hates the turks. much to think about

Had a dream that Lana del Rey was a prolific Skyrim modder and whenever she showed off her new mods people in the comments would be like "DROP THE NEW ALBUM NOT THIS SHIT" and then she got dead upset and then I woke up x

Klingon Come Deliverance

Tomb Raider is an interesting property since the games themselves always had a pretty broad demographic appeal but the marketing was aggressively Lad Mag back in the day so weirdos feel betrayed about the lack of "sexiness" in modern versions that was only mildly in the originals.

elf who doesn't go into the west and starts a religion about aliens, Elrond Hubbard

reading up about lord byron and that whole social circle and it's like oh so it's 19th century Skins? got it

pill that makes you feel guilt, meaculpamine

need to start trying more danish beer because I know it'll piss off every Swede incl the bf and that brings my joy x

I think we should make The Odyssey into a film where Odysseus is played by Krysten Ritter but she has the same mannerisms and speech patterns as Chloe from Don't Trust the Bitch. thank you.

Hans Christian Mr Anderson

I feel like I could never be a sexy sexy onlyfans person cause I'd post a video like "oooh look my hot thick cock" or whatever they say and 10 minutes later I'd be like "which of the tweenies do you think would do too much G at a party?" like my urge to say everything that comes to mind overrules

This was the plot of KCD right?

the original mutant ninja top model turtle

brain just autocorrected ANTM (america's next top model) to TMNT (teenage mutant ninja turtles)

IstvaUNnhhhh Toth Because it's our place in the sun, and not yours

I wanna replay KCD1 but they've hinted they might update/remaster it so i'm just stuck in limbo

"Can you explain this gap in your employment history?"

Yabba Dabba doo // Baba Yaga doo Wake up america

Hi

imagine killing Istvan Toth and he's just like this

it's always blood magic why not cerebrospinal fluid magic? why not a turd mage

Luther will return in AVENGERS DOOMSDAY

Feel like pure shit, just want them back x

Henry in #KCD2:

LGBT? Nah I prefer coffee x

Christian nationalism is a death cult so stop booing me when I want those cunts to die

who was like the Girls Aloud of like 1066 England

just remembered this one time some man in a pub was like "you have beautiful eyes" and I responded with Thank you I know and then he was like annoyed at me and walked away in a huff, like babe I was agreeing with you 😭

Need to be balls deep in this man NOW

me and my sisters to my dad:

Just remembered that guy in the airport who took a shit which registered on the Richter scale, looked at himself in the mirror and then walked out without washing like it was nothing Men should really be born in prison and earn their way out like...

Claudia to Heather in Silent Hill 3 to awaken the darkness in her heart