Daily reminder that satirical news is more accurate than most other news operations.

Meetings started at 7am this morning. Please convince me to put on pants.

Trying the Voynich Puzzle the correct way this time. @brixpup.bsky.social @pupbolt.bsky.social

I could lift a truck when this hits the Pink Pony Club/I Wanna Dance With Somebody transition at minute 15. Listen to Snapshot // Tigerbeatz New Years 2026 by TigerBeatz on #SoundCloud on.soundcloud.com/8AQYnWTbA1PP...

Dear Reader, I am not able to do much about today's horrors. However, I'll be at the Seattle Eagle tonight for the BigBoy party if you would like to 1) make out; 2) want me to cheer as you make out with someone; or, 3) let me huff your armpit.

OMG you guys. I'm so feeling my 7th haus in Pisces right now.

Gonna really set the tone for 2026 by creating an auto-responder before I leave work today that replies to all emails with: "I am only answering emails that further the goals of luxury space communism." Then inserts a random Janeway gif/meme in each for my signature.

You've all been warned. 😘

See you tomorrow night!

Dear Reader, My silly goose-ry will continue and only get worse from here.

Pupping out to the amazing set by @pupbolt.bsky.social

Dear Reader, I did not need to know my grandma was a total freak. Grandma: "We don't call it Whipped Cream anymore. We call it Good Squirt-y Stuff."

Xmas eve Gloomies tonight! Gonna make my bear maul some monsters!

How I'm turning up to the Bluesky Christmas Party

A month into this bulk and the little machine told me some good numbers today. With good progress I may be within striking distance of my ultimate goals by the end of this one. Onward we grow.

Memories left on the body 🧎‍♂️ @betachamp.bsky.social

Dear Reader, I was prepared for Episode 5 of Heated Rivalry. I fortified myself and promised myself only to be entertained by a good episode. *Narrator - He cried like a fucking baby.*

Dear Reader, She lives my ideal life for I too desire to live as nobility while punching every ultra rich person I feel like. Also, has a pet dragon.

Gloomies tonight and I unlocked the Wildfury character!

Dear Reader, This security guard at the Furry Rave is so real for responding to my "I have a fan," with "Please use it responsibly."

seriously though, there is very clearly pent up demand for rail options and every reason to build out as much new rail as possible.

Dear Reader, Convince me to stay home so we can play video games in our jockstraps. I could serve cake if you wanted to come over. Please and thank you.

Dear Reader, The "For You" section of my music streaming service listing its top pick as "Perfect Concentration: Calm piano music..." is such a filthy read that I may never recover.

I can't explain my face in this photo but it was the best I could manage earlier this week. Please enjoy.

"don't you want to speak to your dead grandpa using ai" I think we should bring back proper necromancers and then set the skeletons on anyone who can rotate a pdf

💪 Hey folks, the holiday season is coming. Why not help a general strike? ☕ Our store specifically is looking to cover the gaps to make this strike extra beefy. Venmo: [@]georgetownstrikefund Anything helps!

Dear Reader, I am happy to report that when I asked @pupbolt.bsky.social "Should I get the Elphaba sex cardigan?" after seeing Wicked For Good that he said "definitely."

Dear Reader, Last night I was served an ad for luxury yacht rentals, and today in Cosmere RPG we're on a boat being attacked by sky eels Coincidence, I think not!

Dear Reader, I'm not crying at episode 3 of Heated Rivalry. YOU'RE crying at episode 3, and my allergies are just bad today.

Dear Reader, Work is dumb so I'm dedicating my day to lobbying members of various polycules so they watch Heated Rivalry.

I have been attacked...

The Foley artists working on Heated Rivalry deserve awards…

Gloomies (aka Gloomhaven) tonight!

Hey Seattle Folks, how are you spending your new year? Hopefully with this house cat

FINALLY got a free moment to watch Heated Rivalry and I am OBSESSED. Ilya is top goals.

So it begins. Building the galaxy I shall dominate! #TwilightImperium

Tis the season

*le sigh* ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/clima...

It's a Bolt-Wear Black Friday Sale! Now through the end of the year get 50% off all Bandanas while supplies last! Bolt-Wear.com

Cool pic from SYNC @pupbolt.bsky.social @brixpup.bsky.social @betachamp.bsky.social

Only Good Boys get into the disco ball bathroom.

Dear Reader, I am super tempted to pick Ghosts of Creuss as my faction for an upcoming Twilight Imperium game. Not because I think I can score a lot of points but to go around the table telling the players "We are looking for Beverly Crusher." In a strange "British" accent.

Calling all immoral scoundrels, big dick deviants, and heretical hooligans. I need to see you Friday shaking that gods given booty on the floor this Friday. Tix at www.massive.club The doors gape at 9pm Follow @bearracuda.bsky.social for updates Hoes assemble! 🪄

Diving into this hump day! 📷 and 🪢- @pupsunburst.bsky.social

Come dance with @jphardyxxx.bsky.social, @seattledad.bsky.social, and me this Friday at Massive 😁😘

Gotta remember to practice my good boy pose. 📷: @pupsunburst.bsky.social