It is with deepest sincerity that I remind you all, peaches come from a can.

As the new year starts I reflect on all the creative projects I've started and on the fresh batch decision paralysis to look forward to in the coming months

It's not officially a Missouri Christmas until my dad is standing in the middle of the street listening to the neighbors scream at each other

If you ever think that scientists are serious academics who don't do stupid shit, remember that Mastodon means boob-tooth

Boomers will watch their kids become homeless while they have more than one home & take expensive vacations. They do this, I've seen it.

The RFK, jr effect.

ambitious people are like extroverts. they think anyone who doesn't interact with the world like they do is broken. and they can all fuck right off

I know I'm depressed when I find myself eating Ritz crackers and writing graduate statistics homework exercises while crying and blasting 25 year-old Crazy Town songs at 11pm on Tuesday

male loneliness is not an epidemic. entitled violence is

I don't have first world problems. I am a first world problem

I pulled a muscle in my back getting my slippers out from under the bed, just put me down now

This is to be remembered, always. For the vast majority of us, kindness and community is the default, not the exception. Cruelty takes more effort to maintain than the simple wish to live and let live. Fear is a divider, yes, but it requires constant reaffirmation not to simply burn away.

The hospital texted me a $14,000 bill on Thanksgiving morning, truly the US is the greatest country on Earth

OMG please tell me Foreigner is not featured in the new season of Stranger Things. When people say everything was cooler in the 80s, I just point to Foreigner.

I propose we shorten person to indicate someone without having to specify gander. No "that guy", etc. That pers

having to have my head chocked to the side so I can read my phone screen with my polarized sunglasses on is an annoyance I've never been able to get over

Used 67 on my daughter and she got angry and forbade me "ever using it again in this house." So, successful dadding this morning.

Was just told by my daughter that listening to loud angry music to drown out my brain so I can think is not normal. I'll come up with a rejoinder after I turn on some music.

And with 3rd Party content made by one of the OG creators the gun might also be a player.

Getting dinner ready. Wondering why the hell the water isn't coming to a boil. Everything else ready. Water still hasn't boiled. Stare at it for a good 10 min more before noticing that I never turned the burner on. Attention is sometimes lacking in me.

no one over the age of 65 should be allowed to hold public office

I don't understand people who do Christmas shopping early. If I find something to buy someone I'm going to give it to them now because I'm excited to give them something I think they'll love. Any more than two weeks ahead and they're getting it now, not waiting for a silly holiday.

just looking through instrument logs and...there must be another way to phrase that.

Someone once told me they liked to suck on pork rinds until they taste like ham and I've never forgiven them.

Things go sideways when the crew finally runs into the lost denizens of the Tesseract - a hostile confrontation leads to more hints of what other dangers lurk! open.spotify.com/episode/2K9g... #starfinder #actualplay #podcast #paizo #STF #ttrpg #DriftCrashers #sciencefantasy

Can’t believe I just dropped my girlfriend off at the airport and she’s being picked up by a guy named Stardaddy and somehow I’m ok with this

people get mad at me for being on my phone all the time but then also get mad when I'm not on my phone and constantly moving and fidgeting. pick one.

On 27th August 2015, The Shepherd's Crown, the last book Sir Terry Pratchett completed before he died, was published. To mark the ten year anniversary, we have a message from Rob Wilkins:

Dem leaders *could* have spent the past half decade going in front of cameras saying "trans rights are human rights, disabled people are worth keeping alive, genocide is a crime," etc. Even without a majority. No magic wand needed, just a camera. They didn't. They did the opposite.

I've never been a perfectionist, only an OKtionist

on today's episode of things that can apparently send me into a fit of blinding rage is calling me "friend" or any variation thereof when I don't know you

Starfinder galactic ancestries revealed! The cover has a Bantrid, Goblin, Izalguun and Kasatha on it! Formians, cool playable ooze dudes, are visiting each pathfinder ancestry with space options like Void Elves, and expanding each sf2 player core ancestry like PF2e's Ancestry guide did!!!

Arriving in Alaska from Los Angeles: My god, the air is so fresh and clean! Arriving in Los Angeles from Alaska: Oh LA, you troll's armpit.

My dumb brain is so contrarian that even when the algorithm does suggest something I find cool, I refuse to interact with it because I didn't ask it to suggest things to me.

Mom's doctor: Your cholesterol is a bit high. You need to stop eating butter. My mom: Oh hell no.

Having grown up poor and in a clean-your-plate household it's taking all my willpower not to finish off my daughter's plate after she is full.

Shout out to gifted kids who breezed through school with low effort and are now middle aged bundles of abandoned hobbies who can't finish a project.

A silver ring worn daily for 30 years vs a replacement bought a month ago.

It is a very good time to be interrogating where your life (including your community) is supported by government, and thinking about what you will do if (when) that support fails. Because the people in charge are intent on rigging it so these support structures fail in the coming months and years.

They should make a price is right style game show where you get called down randomly from the audience to play a ttrpg one shot with the host as GM.

what people think I mean when I say I love country music: muh beer, muh truck, muh bald eagle the country music I'm actually listening to: it's time to send the president back to god, direct mail

SENATOR @warnock.senate.gov : “Are we reading the same Book? The Book I know says ‘I was hungry, and you fed me… I was a stranger, and you welcomed me… insomuch as you’ve done it to the least of these, you’ve done it also unto me.’” #TrumpsTrillionsTransfer

Straight from a Chaplin film from 1918.

the most dipshitted hateful fuckers alive are saying shit like “maybe white slave owners who fought in the confederacy weren’t so bad” while I’m stuck in arguments about edge case nuances of nonbinary versus trans we are so fucked lmfao

The thing about The Shepherd's Crown is I didn't want to start bawling at the book's dedication

Not saying my girlfriend plays too many ttrpgs but she did say, “I realized I’m the skill monkey of this relationship and you’re the face.”

I am officially one of The Ancients, Keeper of Knowledge of the Before Time