Jesus will return in AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY.

This year I'm working on giving up Pelagianism in hopes that this will earn more favor with God

Was off this Sunday and worshiped with the Lutherans. I'd love to go to Methodist churches on my Sunday off but TBH I need to be in a place where I know communion will be served.

This is the future they want for us

to quote John Wesley “experience is just vibes from your friends at the pub, do a shot and feel the Spirit move”

If there ever was a time for the church to lean into substitutionary atonement in all its forms, this seems like it.

Watching Star Trek S3 E14 and this guy crowning himself “Lord Garth, Master of the Universe” in a galactic insane asylum just feels like watching the news.

A cooking series entitled “I Still Have to Feed My Children Through All of This”

Lotta these politicians sound like 2010s edgy self-help authors

The poasting arch of the universe long but it bends towards shit.

I'm begging people to just LET FRANCHISES END

One of my favorite films, A Man for All Seasons, depicts the martyrdom of St. Thomas More, who chose his conscience over the bullying of a king. How could this possibly apply to us? Well, friends, Charlie Kirk risked his life denouncing another “king” (MLK)

Honestly!

Wish we could go back

Wow, I didn’t know you could order a situation room on temu dot com

how your email finds me

Biblically accurate angel

WhyNotBoth.gif

Hot take incoming: Scrapple is Marylander Tofu.

There’s still time to start your Bible in a year plan!

even the helmets in Hollywood are getting buccal fat removal surgery

O teach me Lord to walk this road, the road of simple living; to be content with what I own and generous in giving. And when I cling to what I have please wrest it quickly from my grasp; I'd rather lose all the things of earth to gain the things of heaven!

Do you really love the lamp or are you just naming things in the room?

They should pick popes the way they pick Santa in The Santa Clause.

I AM IN HEAVEN

!! Andrew Peterson has a whole live album of Rich Mullins covers !!

When you’re really hoping it’s just a fart

the sound of peace

This Vanity Fair photo shoot has given me so much life.

Big-brained Revival Preachers: "Here are the 23 steps of the Romans Road, which we have carefully constructed from a collection of isolated verses and is absolutely essential to be saved." The Apostle Peter, a simple-minded rube: "Baptism, which now saves you..."

Remove those filthy clothes. In Zechariah 3, God forgives generations of wrong-doing in one day, and the result is that we invite our neighbor to sit under our vine and our fig tree! So what do we call that day, Zechariah? ☺️🕯

Loading my beautiful children Kayleigh, Hrayden, and Hiytler-Anne into my FürherTruck ChildCrusher450. Idling an hour in the parking lot of the local church INSPYR to view the nativity scene, belching carbon into the troposphere. I notice the Joseph is looking a little swarthy. Christmas is ruined

perusing UM Clergy Group like

This is actually a good example of why the customer model is wrong. I wouldn't have chosen poetry writing, but UNC made me take a class. And it absolutely made me become a much better writer, with an eye to concision and an ear now trained to the rhythm of words. I'm a better historian as a result.

When you bury me can you leave one leg out of the casket so I don't get hot?

Maybe this fixes the timeline?

Putting in my application as campus pastor for BeastChurch when that launches.

My veterinarian is sending emails addressed to my pets. This puts their understanding of pets into question, for me…

The Virgin Birth is the true response to "toxic masculinity"

if you manage to fold this 10 times it will be tall enough to reach the moon

Moses: oh hey you're back early Tzipporah: foreskin's haunted. Moses: what? Tzipporah: *grabbing knife* foreskin's haunted.

A lot of ministry is reaching out to people who swear they’re trying to get more involved in church, over and over, only to be ghosted 75% of the time.

Advent II for the Narrative Lectionary is Ezekiel 37:

Fully done with Grinchmas. I hate those Grinch costumes and all the Grinch paraphernalia. Find another theme for your damn Christmas parade float!

Me ‘n’ the boys just going hog wild on candle salads this holiday season.

“I was just following otters.”

My barber was complaining about Shariah Law the other day so now I have to find a new barber 😩

Adderall's hitting good today