this is loose inside of my home, I'm scared to catch it with my bare hands so I have garden gloves on, but it's too fast. the dogs are cowering behind the couch, is there anyone I could call

good for them, good for them

I posted this about ten years ago and it only got 500 likes so I am resharing it now

Choice clip

the "only enjoys and is good at one thing" debuff is crazy on the musician build. how to never win speedrun fr

I'm in places I'm not supposed to be

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that mainstream American media hasn’t more widely covered Vietnam sentencing billionaires who commit wide-scale fraud to death. I can’t imagine why such a story wouldn’t get more traction in this country. I simply cannot imagine. www.bbc.com/news/article...

they’re giving me the keith to the city

can't believe I fumbled this hard

mental illnesses as shits inside of a butt 🧵

this is loose inside of my home, I'm scared to catch it with my bare hands so I have garden gloves on, but it's too fast. the dogs are cowering behind the couch, is there anyone I could call

"I'm a scorpio like Bill Gates." -Grant MacDonald

posting something again because idk why I deleted it

you can't finally go to sleep you need to pick your phone back up immediately and learn what the difference between a goblin and a hobgoblin is

when the free stuff isn't good

you guys look how pretty my gf looked on her birthday

turned 24 today :-)

Been meaning to get into swimming as a hobby. May have to dip my toes in

you know when people don't get along because they're exactly the same but then they do get along with other people because they're exactly the same

an account that reposts other people's art every single day but hasn't shared an original thought of their own in almost a month blocked me??nooooooooo😫😫😫

listen up: those two gay people are gonna kiss if we don't put a stop to this

(pointing at my bed like sleepy Babe Ruth)

Gun case is perfect for eurorack

me: yeah I have a six fig salary the six figs:

trying to remember what emailing list I was subscribed to as a teenager that would send me a free mp3 every week. it was sometime in the 2000s, probably 2007-2010. I feel like it was Spin magazine or something but I can't find anything on it

peeing in the shower charges the sacral chakra

for 10 thousand dollars i will open any explosive device you mail to me

It's ok to feel sad about it. It is genuinely sad. Twitter is where I met my wife, the love of my life and the mother of my children. Now that Twitter is dying, I have no way to contact these three.

when i worked at circle k we had to lock up the beers at night because they came to life once

National Get Dicked Down By An Elf Day [1/2]

least twist to openable packaging in the world voice: twist to open

baths should do acapella covers of minecraft volume alpha

the american people love to bop it

i hope you all get to know the joy of out playing somebody

I’m going to think about death some more today. It’s crazy

gonna start getting in to 2D printing as a fun hobby

thinking about My man Stefan on the phone and shit

bought a variety pack of guitar picks and my favorite one in the pack is stupid expensive to buy more of. like it's $8 for 3. I gotta go rob Jim Dunlop at gunpoint

Soda update: A great reckoning is coming to the milk drinkers