turning 50 lowkey kinda depressing

it's fortunate that the J can be either Jelly or Jam and PB&J still totally works. Rip preserves

when he croaks it's going to be the biggest celebration the world has ever seen.

in honor of mothers day I will be keeping my balls the same size they've always been

wait, I recently listened to some sabrina carpenter (not espresso), and the songs were actually kinda fun and idk why ppl were hating on her

I keep that thang on me

what ever happened to LG ? does he post here still?

i got this blue corn waffle mix and ngl they're kinda fire

imho the best type of activism is the type that you can never tell another living soul about

it was him all along

kerning is my pa ssion

guy who sings along to The Beastie Boys but only the lyrics when Adrock says "the girlies I like are underage" 🎶

cognitive abilitymogging some zoomers

everyone talks about going back in time and killing baby hitler, but what about killing his mom before she gives birth, is that "morally wrong"??? 🤔

i wonder when this app stopped requiring an invite code. anyone know when that happened? anyone?

I'm 6'2" and I'm dating a woman who is 5'0" and we were out on a date and she says "do you think that's what we look like to other people?" and points at a dad walking hand in hand with his toddler-aged daughter 🫠

The Girl With The Crabby Ragoon

there's this little fancy bar & restaurant that I like to go to and I just did the math on my credit card statement and I've blown $1600 there in the last two months 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I am ashamed at my irresponsibility.

kinda ironic that people are worried about microplastics in their bodies but no one gives a damn about all the silicone lube in my asshole 😤😤😤

::first day as warehouse manager:: "ok bucko, if you've got time to goon you've got time to broom"

::takes long drag of cigarette:: "listen here kid, you wait long enough that pile of clean clothes on your bed will slowly turn in to a pile of dirty clothes on your floor."

getting in trouble for inappropriate toyotathon behavior

😤

how do I know if someone I'm dating actually likes me or if they're just using me for my personality, intelligence, comfort, and sex ?? 😠

ME: ring ring FRIEND: hello ME: i invented a bell that goes on your finger FRIEND: cool what do you call it ME: i just told you

Every installment of this MTG rehabilitation tour feels like “Nice Scorpion Regrets Past Stings, Needs Help With River Crossing!”

T R A N S G E N D E R

T R A N S G E N D E R

Seagate Barracuda probably your best choice if you want a hard drive named after a fish

wtf no one wants my empire of dirt 😫

When I make a huge batch of scrambled eggs

how does this keep happening we were told this was the best asset in the world

ok is this the bottom is will it drop some more?

what do you think folks, can we go lower???

this week I'm ready for FCF

it's down to $92k from $120k when I made my prediction. ppl are liquidating.

is testosterone bad for hairlines? because so many of these "high T alpha males" are balding at 28

Logging on GM

Long ago on the hell site I made long list of historically interesting things to use in dnd ttrpgs and I'll start dragging them over here starting with 2000 years-old sapphire ring presumably belonged to Roman emperor Caligula, depicting his fourth wife Caesonia.

are you a boring normie or are you a

new rule: you can't say the word faggot unless you've sucked at least two dicks for fun.

anyone want to link me to a good summary of whatever schumer's stupid ass just did??

kerning is my pa ssion

ever be single and lonely but also don't want to meet anyone new? it be that way sometimes imho

Dick Cheney dying is the number 2 spot of my "people I hope die before christmas" 🤗🤗🤗🤗

she cute tho