I'm gonna make a housewife that is so real

So I don't like cops.

I can't cum if you don't say Yes Ma'am

Bums me out that whenever I tell a man he can't blow me, he ghosts

everything’s better gay. hear my out. Popeye but she’s a butch vegan lesbian in a sailor moon outfit. Sheldon growing up religious and gay but becomes a physicist in a sailor moon outfit. Captain Jack Sparrow fall in love with bisexual Will and poly Elizabeth and sail the seas in sailor moon outfits

Girls want one thing and it's full economic collapse

I'm not clocky, I'm just still buffering

5 year anniversary of me making the Mad Men Final Fantasy VI edit...time flies

36 days of nonstop manipulation? What is this? My ex?

This king, obviously

Why bother? We could just steal it.

Best friends BUT ITS NOT WEIRD

All this tech and no drone that sucks me off

DO NOT FUCK WITH my Abe Vigoda card

If trans people can't change their names why you fucks letting Google rename Gchat again

Biggest mistake of my life: Back in maybe 2010ish the state of New Jersey mailed me a refund check for $1. I should have kept it as a souvenir, but I was so fucking broke at the time that I cashed it. Fuck. The one that got away.

I feel bad and not good

god ned stark is such a dumbass. im glad he died

I lived bitch. 🤘🍀

Paul Atreideez nuts

Rewrote my dating profile

I'm just a lil canary in a coal mine, doing my lil thing

Hey, I don't know who needs to hear this but the world is a vampire

Fuck

One knuckle sandwich please. Yum!

When your girl the Sage of Time

I can't stop thinking about why he wrote nucleus

the nucleus of my nuts is some sort of poetry

Roses are red Saying this takes guts

When I'm mayor of SF I will replace all the busses with Bang Busses

i did my shot and blood spurted out all over my floor AMA

important hrt shots question. today's shot went so badly (blood everywhere) (must have just hit a terrible spot) i'm not entirely sure any of the dose actually stayed in me. wtf do i even do? try again tomorrow? can i overdose?

Timeshare of the heart

Sorry, when I get to the gates of heaven the only thing they're gonna ask is how many times I took my dog to the beach and the only answer is "as many times as humanly possible"

Hey Chat GPT jerk me off I'm too lazy

Some of you bitches paying for AI garbage when you could just learn SQL

Ah, the two genders:

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 😭😭😭😭😭

It's mostly the straight guys that ask to blow me 🤔

LCDeez Nuts System

if your initial reaction to anti-trans legislation is “I don’t understand how this helps anyone” you really need to accept the fact that these people aren’t operating in good faith. They aren’t trying to help anyone. They are trying to exterminate undesirables.

Polymarket trade one whether or not I get laid this month

Explain something to me

you look like someone who loves pussy. just gargles pussy like crazy. num num num pussy - you

giys would you still love me if i waddled around like a penguin with huge balls

Get me to 666 followers and I'll kms

i don't need to wear blush!!!!!! (got way too much sun today)

Poly pocket

Freedom's not free. It retails for about $1 bil