now seems like as good a time as any for someone to invent free unlimited clean energy

The lack of Sanrio stores is why we're at war.

who doesn't wanna get souped-up from time to time

gonna assume daily pentagon briefings are just this with ever-growing numbers until proven otherwise

POV: you're interviewing the aides wearing trump's gift shoes

Can't spell Galaxy without gal. Happy Women's Day.

see if you can spot the other countries who reportedly meddled in the 2024 election who are not being bombed

Trump is a pedophile, that's the reason why. Its all distraction. All of it.

Silence only tells you what you've been buzzing about underneath all the secret silence, the buzzing of everything. It's a whisper's whisper. But you are just not a whisper's whisper horse understander

It's Wagon Wednesday so I died on the Oregon Trail.

There was some weird shaped clouds in the sky yesterday and when I told my dad to look, he said, "yeah we're in the matrix dawg". And this is now my new catchphrase.

[burt bacharach voice] what the world... needs now... is geeks, not freaks...

dr. robby: who we got here paramedic: adult male, 33, blunt trauma to entire body, broken nose, signs of electrocution. local PD arrested him last night. dr. al-hashimi: is that a staple in his groin parademic: there's two more in his nose and posterior. claims a kid named kevin did it.

me when It Happens

General strike includes jokes. We're seriousing today.

You should be outraged that our president is a pedophile and the government/media enabled and hid it. We need a cleanse of the whole system. These people need to be locked up. All. Of. Them.

starting a saxophone-led band for the upscale music market. sax fifth avenue

It really does feel like being the Wicked Witch and trying to convince Oz the Wizard is a fraud.

The real Silent Hill is just Congress.

does this collapsing biosphere make my ass look big?

everything is terrible so look at my red velvet flower cakes

It's terrorism, plain and simple. Killing Americans because your weakling pedophile president told you to. Theres no "reforming" ICE. Every democrat needs to read the fucking room here. Complete abolishment.

ICE agents are all fucking criminal bastards. They deserve to be treated like the nazis when this is over. No "i was just following orders" you scumbag cunts should be shamed for life.

dr. spaceman being made the US surgeon general hits just a little too close to home

Even the abominable snowman hates ICE.

Betsey Johnson is a villain....as in I don't have the money to buy all her shoes.

I went into the Tron world once, they had me pedal my 10 speed undetected inside their version of Mordor

Ice is in all our neighborhoods. Ladies dont shop alone. They are picking up women. Dont give them your SS card. They'll take it.

a rock concert obviously

Grew up all fightily blightily in a Beatrix Potter neighborhoodly woodly and I do recommendily bembly it unless you got two roughly toughly pronunciation fists

G.I. Joe = Gastrointestinal Joseph

Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .

American Psycho was supposed to be a cautionary tale not a "how to".

My puppies had their own couches. How I miss them 😢 Kaia, Chloe and Kori. 👼 👼 👼

You know how embarrassing it is for our country to fall because of the most annoying, whiny, pussy ass dorks??

powerful members of congress: winter is coming - and the trump admin wants your house surrounded by ice. that's why we're committed to lowering your heating bills! evelyn normielib of minneapolis in the neighborhood chat:

If you want to act like Hitler then you should go out like him.

The world is suffering from a severe lack of grooviness, man.

Teletherapy is great if you want to do tech support with your doctor instead of therapy

bed did bed but coffee didn’t coffee so brain is not braining but chair is chairing

I failed geometry because I wouldn’t stop asking about the Bermuda Triangle.

Annoying people: Why won't those people we didn't show up to give power to, do something with their powerless selves?

Sometimes people don't deserve the benefit of the doubt . . . Sometimes people deserve a slap upside the head.

Putting the puta in indisputable.

Goldilocks has boundary issues.

woke 2: taste the

We're way past tea in the harbor btw.

the problem-among many- is if you are gonna be a fascist asshole then just be one. don't insult our intelligence by turning around and going, "uwu we are just innocent little victims" as you scream how anyone who isn't white or straight or conservative should have less rights.