everything is terrible so look at my red velvet flower cakes

It's terrorism, plain and simple. Killing Americans because your weakling pedophile president told you to. Theres no "reforming" ICE. Every democrat needs to read the fucking room here. Complete abolishment.

ICE agents are all fucking criminal bastards. They deserve to be treated like the nazis when this is over. No "i was just following orders" you scumbag cunts should be shamed for life.

dr. spaceman being made the US surgeon general hits just a little too close to home

Even the abominable snowman hates ICE.

Betsey Johnson is a villain....as in I don't have the money to buy all her shoes.

I went into the Tron world once, they had me pedal my 10 speed undetected inside their version of Mordor

Ice is in all our neighborhoods. Ladies dont shop alone. They are picking up women. Dont give them your SS card. They'll take it.

a rock concert obviously

Grew up all fightily blightily in a Beatrix Potter neighborhoodly woodly and I do recommendily bembly it unless you got two roughly toughly pronunciation fists

G.I. Joe = Gastrointestinal Joseph

Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .

American Psycho was supposed to be a cautionary tale not a "how to".

My puppies had their own couches. How I miss them 😢 Kaia, Chloe and Kori. 👼 👼 👼

You know how embarrassing it is for our country to fall because of the most annoying, whiny, pussy ass dorks??

powerful members of congress: winter is coming - and the trump admin wants your house surrounded by ice. that's why we're committed to lowering your heating bills! evelyn normielib of minneapolis in the neighborhood chat:

If you want to act like Hitler then you should go out like him.

The world is suffering from a severe lack of grooviness, man.

Teletherapy is great if you want to do tech support with your doctor instead of therapy

bed did bed but coffee didn’t coffee so brain is not braining but chair is chairing

I failed geometry because I wouldn’t stop asking about the Bermuda Triangle.

Annoying people: Why won't those people we didn't show up to give power to, do something with their powerless selves?

Sometimes people don't deserve the benefit of the doubt . . . Sometimes people deserve a slap upside the head.

Putting the puta in indisputable.

Goldilocks has boundary issues.

Let’s just take two minutes and be wildly affectionate with each other. Respectfully but with passion, who do you admire? Who makes the world better? Who impresses and inspires you?

woke 2: taste the

We're way past tea in the harbor btw.

the problem-among many- is if you are gonna be a fascist asshole then just be one. don't insult our intelligence by turning around and going, "uwu we are just innocent little victims" as you scream how anyone who isn't white or straight or conservative should have less rights.

Why call a group of crows a murder when "birder" was right there.

a goth enjoying a coffee? don't you mean brewding

I've gotten so fat from holiday sweets imma roll into work tomorrow.

"You say the whole world's ending, honey, it already did"

It’s your world, bro, we’re just dying in it

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, theres nothing reality narcan do for you.

Bush 2.0 is defintely gonna work this time right. Right?

Sometimes I take my glasses off because life looks better that way.

I'm honestly surprised my head doesn't look like Megamind with how much I overthink.

*hands on hips* I cannot believe this fantasy film isn't historically accurate

Sighhhturday

I think a little poison will make me feel better.

THIS TIMELINE WAS NOT MEANT TO BE AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS.

Bombing countries doesn't make anyone forget you're a pedophile btw.

Embarrassment meter? Yeah, don't worry I'm full up, I'm an American.

what in the donald duck fuck are we doing

Letting a demented pedophile start an illegal war would be considered bad by any other country but ours is being governed by conservatives without spines or morals.

*snorts rail of microplastics*

"Gutted like a pig by your drug-addled uncle? Join the First Knives Club today and put some shank in your tank"

I can't believe it's almost 1996

Disgruntled implies the existence of datgruntled