This is me if you even care.

If your thirst trap doesn't involve someone falling into a pit of spikes, I'm not impressed.

A unicorn, but instead of a horn she was born with a toilet roll core attached to her head.

Tbh I'm team Snake today.🐍🐍

Vodka and French fries are the true way to celebrate my people today.

I hate to brag but my love handles are all natural.

I don't need whiskey today, I just need to be whisked away.

Not even one compliment from my coworkers on my irish tapper shoes.

What's the point of this other than just being disrespectful racist pricks? This admin has no rock bottom.

Sunday scaries? More like Sunday of the Dead.

Assume everything written here is non-sexual and absolutely just really gross.

Let me put this in a way that won't be habitable for another 20,000 years: I'm not exactly the coolest rod in the reactor

I’m reliving my youth by not being able to afford anything

I'm going to skip work tomorrow unannounced because I am Irish.

Lemme get on your algorithm and bounce around.

Hey how do I make that link for the top of my page that shows all my posts?

"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.

them: you never age, what's your secret? me: actually, i've just been kind of sad and eating a lot of toast them: maybe it's your lipgloss? me: that's butter

Due to inflation, 5 Guys will now be called Just 1 Guy

My trauma is like a bean bag chair, deep-seated.

Why does that little chupacabra look so rational oh there was a mange outbreak in the coyote school for skeptical babies

Reverse reverse engineered that reverse psychology you got there, be a shame if I knew how I was actually cancelling out our plans to trick each other into getting married at build a bear

Gonna start to post more over here than over there. It's feeling obsolete. So hiiiii gang.

Vampire kiddos 🧛

ME: Cauliflower is bullshit. EXECUTIONER: Those are really gonna be your last words?

My coworker thinks it’s gross that I pee in the shower and I’m like fine don’t have us over for dinner anymore.

A Blood Moon occurs when I free bleed in outer space.

Cunts gonna cunt (inspirational)

mom stop yelling at me i am doing content

Magic the Gathering is what I call my bedroom.

If I tell you I'm getting stoned, 100 percent of the time, I mean rhine.

Happy weekend kids

I am constantly annoyed lately and it's a problem. I think I'm fed up with the world and all the people in it.

My friend did a card reading for me and it wasn't tarotble.

Cops are clowns, which means they hold you in Circustody.

I haven't posted here in months. The other place is even more deteriorated btw. Hi gang!

BARS

when my friends don't appreciate my puns, it makes me homiecidal.

I think Pitbull just likes King of the Hill, "Dale" is short for Gribble.

Ate too much sugar for two days, and my BDD makes me feel guilty about it uuggh. Holidays with mental illnesses are not fun. Weird night.

🎵Feliz Navidong🎵

Oh you want me to work....in December? When there's sugar plum fairies dancing and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Get real.

fa la la la la la la la La Croix

Might just fuck around and acknowledge that the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.

i'll have to discuss this with the birds

Brb gonna take some Benadryl and flirt with the Hat Man.

no, no the frogs aren't gay, they are amphiBians.