I've literally been stuck.on this piece for 13 months. I'm having such a block. Im doing a series of a kinda homage to The Masters. This is my 3rd in the series. I need to do at least 5. Grr.

is it a rule that vampires have to be in human form? never like a dolphin or something

Streaming didn't kill cinema. $20 for popcorn and coke did.

You know some people are out here thinking Godzilla is a Christian because its got "God" in its name.

You don't have to be a vampire to hate on sunlight, you could just be so many drops of open-minded your kinks are dilated

Donuts are the original glory hole

Nothing says racism, cruelty, hatred and weakness combined in one quite like the orange felon removing all free access to National Parks on federal holidays that honor black people whilst giving free access on his own birthday. He should’ve been sent to jail forever.

Does liking one of those friendship circle posts that you’re not pictured in count as stolen valor?

when rich white men complain about being judged this is what they mean

Missing my girl today 😓

If I wanted euphoria I'd vibrate at a higher frequency but clearly I'm sitting as still as possible thinking about the last time I was truly helping lighter worlds crowdsurf in a mosh pit

Jack Frost will nip at any exposed protuberance of the body

DM actually stands for Dennis the Menace.

I've felt enough feelings today. Time for a refreshing lemon-lime soda beverage.

I'm so introverted I only listen to house music.

when your boyfriend doesn't actually do anything for you but you insist that his general presence is adding something to your life, you have a placebeau.

A diet where I can eat a lot of cheese

using the dark arts to bring a gingerbread man to life

Pulling a report that will confirm if you are a little bitch or not.

Mortal Kombat and chill?

I'm gonna need Clarissa to explain this.

representing my all-american brand of unrepentent nationalism by leveraging people's nostalgia for [checks notes] a canadian cartoon character

The Supreme Court is going to rewrite our Constitution for a reality TV hasbeen. If it wasn't so sad, I'd laugh.

Nobody at this naptime wants to listen to how afternoons are unbearable across all dimensions, even if it takes until evening. One person even covered their doldrums and went la la la la la

Neither shitposter nor hitposter but a secret absurd thing (fortune pierogi)

The only thing they are Supreme about is being cowards.

Hark! The herald angels sing, "Uhh can i get a burrito, bean and cheese?"

The other site is down, where will I shitpost now? Bluesky is too lovely.

guess that song

Me on Twitter all day today, its glorious:

This is me if you even care.

If your thirst trap doesn't involve someone falling into a pit of spikes, I'm not impressed.

A unicorn, but instead of a horn she was born with a toilet roll core attached to her head.

Tbh I'm team Snake today.🐍🐍

Vodka and French fries are the true way to celebrate my people today.

I hate to brag but my love handles are all natural.

I don't need whiskey today, I just need to be whisked away.

Not even one compliment from my coworkers on my irish tapper shoes.

What's the point of this other than just being disrespectful racist pricks? This admin has no rock bottom.

Sunday scaries? More like Sunday of the Dead.

Assume everything written here is non-sexual and absolutely just really gross.

Let me put this in a way that won't be habitable for another 20,000 years: I'm not exactly the coolest rod in the reactor

I’m reliving my youth by not being able to afford anything

I'm going to skip work tomorrow unannounced because I am Irish.

Lemme get on your algorithm and bounce around.

Hey how do I make that link for the top of my page that shows all my posts?

"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.

them: you never age, what's your secret? me: actually, i've just been kind of sad and eating a lot of toast them: maybe it's your lipgloss? me: that's butter

Due to inflation, 5 Guys will now be called Just 1 Guy