i'm not offended that he fell asleep during a meeting. i'm offended that he woke up!!

what is that voice crescendo traveling thing that justin bieber always does when he sings? he doin it too much in this new album lolol

dancefloor demons really LOVE trying to climb into my coochie at the rave. minding your business must be sexy or something i guess!! lmao 🤷🏾‍♀️

okay this isn't even a flex... it's just hilarious and i need you to know this about me. i just tried to run down some stairs but i stopped halfway down bc i realized im too high and i have big titties. like...that combo??? with the cost of healthcare in this country?? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

i can't believe someone has willingly put up with my ass for 4 straight months. being in love rules so much 🥺😭

just realized clocks go back tonight and fell to my knees

not to distract from the discourse, but how are people affording these $80 party tickets to begin with? even if i could afford to do that every month for multiple parties, i think i'd rather make sure i have groceries for the week instead 🤷🏾‍♀️

it's so telling that Cuomo is resorting to gutter racism in the final days of this race, but let's please not make the same mistake as with Trump & assume this is disqualifying.

i love throwing events and participating in things events but i do not love being bombarded with questions an hour before said events things 😤😤😤 i have adhd too but please know this is extremely annoying behavior lol

i hate when you go to the post office and they ask a ton of questions like literally can you just mail this and leave me alone

a friend just asked me what theranos is and i said "you know that white lady with the big eyeballs and witness protection ass voice who lied about the diagnosis pill that looks like a USB with blood in it" the way they immediately yelled "OOOH RIGHTTTT THAT BITCH WAS CRAZY!!" 💀💀💀💀

Cardi B's MTA anti-turnstile hopping message is.... a choice 😬

whenever i log into this damn thing i see nothing but hot takes. hot take this, hot take that. some of you need to take a hike!

one week we defend jimmy kimmel, one week we defend tylenol,

i'm ready for actual fall what is this weird muggy nighttime shit

whoever has been the conductor on the M train in the morning for the last 3 days. i appreciate the enthusiasm but you need to calm down. my ears are bleeding by the time i get to my office 😩

exactly.

They’ll ask you to mourn the deaths they mourn, and no others. They’ll ask you to cherish the lives they cherish, and no others.

in philly for the first time in YEARS and absolutely in love. i decided last year that i'd like to consider moving here maybe when i turn 40, just based off what i've heard and the friends i already have here. it's nice to have those feelings validated!!! 🥰

wait i don't think the brujas of this world are trying hard enough cuz why is he still here!!!!!

you ever log into a teams meeting and you're just like why the fuck am i here rn lol

me leaving the function

sometimes i wonder if i have a sign on my forehead that says please only reach out to hang out with me when you want to trauma dump or cry.... i know i teach yoga and meditation and shit but i'm also literally just a person 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

wearing sunglasses on your head is so chic when you literally left the house after the sun went down

everything happens all the time!!!!

wait animal is so cute!!! I think I thought it was deeper in greenpoint so I avoided going, but it's super close to the L. definitely way more for the gays than the dykes but i didn't feel unwelcome at all while i was there

"i deserve a treat" - girl who accomplished nothing

haven't been to the club in a minute! i've just been going to small DIY parties and beach raves for the past few months and it's been so sick!!

90% of the problems with polyamory/non-monogamy would be solved if most people practicing weren't using it to treat others like disposable objects that can fill up the parts of their lives they find lacking

Can someone put me in touch with ravers who work in the medical field in some capacity? Nurses, Physician's Assistants, etc. (No doctors!) I'm considering a career switch again and wondering how folks in that world make it work while balancing their love of/connection to the nightlife world.

everything about this is absolutely incredible

missed a social cue at work today and started cleaning some dishes trying to be helpful because we had a meeting and people left food out and it was starting to smell. didn't realize i was interrupting a meeting of like 15 big wig execs. the look of death they gave me when they exited the room 😵‍💫😵‍💫

why does the L train union square stop constantly smell like doo doo??? like it's simply getting worse and worse and no one seems to be addressing it...

Yeah, if we’re frank, what we’re seeing is people probing how much overt support they can show for pushing Black people out of public life and making any mention of racism beyond the pale of polite conversation.

some dumb cunt pushed me out the way and walked into the booth, interrupting my partner's dj set to ask if she could play, and then storming off once she was told no. this was a black femme. my partner is latinx and indian. i'm just like girl, you really think this is how you do this? come on now.

the reggaeton ice cream truck theme song really hits. good job ridgewood!

i love when you threaten to cancel a streaming subscription and they come at you like "wait we'll only charge you $2 for the next 5 months!!! pero likeee you could have charged me that rate this whole time...?

the bathhouse advertisements are getting out of hand. like it's a cute environment and vibe or whatever, but as @zthebug.bsky.social and @isobel.bsky.social can attest, there's too much talk about bitcoin and crypto currency in the pools. everybody shatap!!!!

okay falling in love rules and is terrifying like i love it and i hate it make it stop no please go on

the new alex g feels less gritty sounding. still cute though!

my chub rub is diabolical today

10:30am on a sunday and i'm naked in my kitchen chopping swiss chard and drinking an iced coffee. not too shabby.

running into your ex and finding out that they live 2 blocks away from you, (not even 1 week after you've finally started making amends with them) is nasty work. god really said "i only give my toughest battles to my dumbest bitches" 💀💀

RISE & GRIND BITCHES IM GOING TO IKEA FOR BREAKFAST

This is his time.

ugh i haven't been this enamored by someone in a minute i am down BAD 😮‍💨😩

It doesn't matter if they are ever coming for you. It was always ever already too much that they were coming for anyone.