I knew I recognised her.

Things are growing!

The Best Boy™

Wearing a dress of human skin to own the libs

If you think they're not gonna extend this to pride badges, you're bang wrong.

When my ex husband was abusing me, my interactions with the police were equally horrific and often felt like an extension of the abuse. I was made to feel like a criminal or a silly girl, whilst he laughed and joked and smoked with the lads in blue. Game recognise game I guess.

What if all women just started using the men's toilets? We can make all loos unisex if we just ✨believe ✨

Tom Hiddleston, if you need a post match rub down, hmu

Found a magical fountain today

amazing this is not a skit

I'm so sick of being slightly clammy at all hours of the day

Currently have what can only be described as a horror movie style thunderstorm happening above my house, and it's the best way to be woken up.

Trans. Woman. Two words. "trans woman" shows that this is just a kind of woman, like tall, blonde or green-eyed. "Transwoman" has and will be used to say that we are a separate thing from women. Trans women are a kind of woman, pass it on.

It's so hot in my room I'm having to make the harrowing choice between 1. sleeping under a too-hot duvet Or 2. getting my uncovered toes eaten by the bedroom witch

Yesssssss!

It's too hot to be wearing fur, you dumb bitch

Had my fan on too high and now I'm tempted to put the heating on to balance it out

It's MessingAboutInBodiesOfWater⁰c

Don't forget your factor 50, babes

this is a cat checkpoint! relinquish your most recent cat picture on your phone. 🐾🐈

Beautiful gig tonight ❤️

Inside you there are two wolves. They both want Dreamies.

Britain entering Eurovision despite the ongoing genocide is actually so cringe. And for what? Everyone hates us anyway, should just bow out so we don't lose embarrassingly and at least pretend it's because we have morals.

Poser

Prediction: Sir Keith taken out back and put out of his misery by the end of the day. They'll tell Streeting he's gone to live on a farm in the cotswolds.

Getting a rare snuggle from The Void. I give it 5 minutes before she sinks her teeth into my hand

1. You just slip out the back, Jack 2. Make a new plan, Stan 3. You don’t need to be coy, Roy (Just get yourself free) 4. Hop on the bus, Gus (You don’t need to discuss much...)

Apropos of nothing, I just remembered I used to be cool.

Gardening is dangerous. Just straight up sawed (sawn?) through my thumb trying to prune a sambucus.

Frend

Maths is fake and hes right to say it. #yesqueen

Okay, just wanted to jump on quickly and do a Q&A about hantavirus. I know there's a lot of speculation out there but hopefully I can clarify a few details and maybe put people's minds at ease

Exam tomorrow and I'm fucking about on my phone instead of a) sleeping or b) revising.

Solving antisemitism by simply removing jewish people from public life is... a choice.

This is so cute 😭

Chat gpt code unveiled

Had the incredibly humbling experience of fainting on the toilet last night. Woke up face down on the bathroom floor. Luckily just bruised and didn't break my nose. What is my life.

I think about this skit a lot youtu.be/9cJ1IZsp750?...

please stop sending us the top 1% vagina tweet. we have seen it. we are despairing.

Had some rain here for the first time in a few weeks and it smells beautiful. Such a shame there's not a name for the smell!

Just realised today is my wedding anniversary. Fucking lol.

Have had to endure 3 lots of adverts to find the place i left off the show i was watching on a streaming service and this is what has finally radicalised me. Fetch the balaclava.

1 session of pilates and I feel like i could lift a car (i suspect i won't be able to walk tomorrow)

Every fucking time

Yes, hahaha, YES

How do you feel about Donald Trump's actions as president so far? [adjacent to an artful and flattering black-and-white sketch of me] Jon, 43, white "I no longer call it the Sun. I call it the Hot Moon. You cannot catch and eat the Hot Moon because it moves too fast because it is late for school."