Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

good morning

pampas and selene is really good you guys

its actually really easy to not have a callout post written about you you just have to sit alone in a dark room and have no opinions and never say anything or interact with anyone else ever

They really did it Ram Ranch

farewell scott adams, you were kind of a piece of shit but i have to admit that dogbert is basically the platonic ideal of character design

(oomf reports art of wii fit trainer ripping apart ring from rfa) THATS GORE OF MY COMFORT CHARACTER

it rly feels like this sometimes #anipoke

gotchu

"can you beat this video game without—" no. nobody can do anything

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

just tell trump he got greenland. he'll most likely be dead soon, so you probably won't have to keep up the lie for very long. if he asks to visit you can fly him literally anywhere and say it's greenland

god i slept for like 14 hours

one of the attorneys came in today gushing about heated rivalry omg my fujo boss

When people try to gatekeep biting into pixie stix.

@railith.bsky.social in my dream last night you made a post that went crazy viral that was like "when people try to gatekeep biting into pixie stix" with a picture of the green m&m going "hehehehe"

can we talk about how hot this was

i can't rewatch deadly space action because i'll just get sad that it was never finished

i audibly gasped

The Threads vibe is so hard to describe. It’s dire and dumb and full of engagement farming but then you also get accidental perfect posts like this.

how am i supposed to take gundam seriously when there's a guy named Four Vaginas

White people have always felt a fraction of what Black people feel. That's the agreement they signed up to. Less safety so Black people have none. Less access to healthcare so Black people have less. Housing insecurity so Black people can't accrue wealth. All to satisfy their desire to erase us.

courtesy of my playlist being on shuffle, i have discovered that kendrick lamar's euphoria directly into they might be giants's ana ng is a weirdly satisfying brain tickle

work call quote of the day: "i only ever pay for things at the very last possible minute. what if i paid you right now and then we all died tomorrow?"

we are the sons of the jerks you couldn't off

"A Mulberry is a tree, Kuwabara's a man!"

BRO IS CONTRIBUTING NOTHING TO THE HOUSEHOLD‼️🔥‼️🔥‼️🔥‼️🔥‼️🔥🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

finally found the thing that holds my folding cane when it, you know, folds

and if i said ed edd n eddy's big picture show then what

the problem with bluesky isn't discourse or a lack of niche posting. it's that we need more gay guys and trans women addicted to molly on this website posting family guy screencaps where lois is wearing bondage gear and the post is captioned "just doordashed bubble tea"

was gonna try to do a "music monday" thing for 2026 but i forgot yesterday so #tunesday it is

sliced my hand open on the tail of a frozen shrimp

all this is both foolish and unnecessary

30 years ago they were like we have to ban song lyrics for the children but it’s full steam ahead for the here’s how to do drugs until you die machine

saw one of those "do you know what video game this song is from" posts on tumblr and someone in the replies tried to spoiler the answer using rot13 but the game in question was vvvvvv so the spoiler was just "iiiiii"

bro how does my BLACK HOODIE have a stain on it. it's already black and then there's literally a spot that's a BLACKER BLACK. fuck you

Another post from a Venezuelan friend:

i keep my work laptop in night mode to cut down on blue light for my eyes and every time i go into the office without fail someone will walk past me and be like "omg why is your screen yellow!!! what's wrong with your computer!!!!!"

hell week again @ work pray 4 me

magical

the couch for this run is really charming #agdq2026

After I watched ReBoot I started blowing weed smoke into my PC to hot box all the little computer people inside