All the shows are 30 minutes late tonight and now I’m actually pissed he didn’t declare war on Venezuela

The moment when they shout Narnia! for the first time, the logo pops up and the audience loses its mind

I’m officially too old to laugh at someone who works for a fake newspaper rooting for 60% of Americans to lose a third of their retirement savings Unsurprisingly, the replies are pure antisocial nihilism

Dark Souls III (2016)

President Trump’s “pardon” of Tina Peters has no more authority than the plastic Sheriff badge from a box of Cracker Jacks. Unless SCOTUS creates a sweeping new presidential power. Some of Colorado’s top criminal justice minds called it “bonkers,” “garbage,” and “a loser.”

Legal experts say I’m the greatest rapper of all time

(We are the good guys)

You know, it just occurred to me that I never reposted my old Twitter thread about the stuff I found in my car after it was recovered a month after being stolen. Spoiler! It was stolen by a woman. who left her journal in it.

I’m willing to bet GeorgeAI has opinions on bathrooms

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

Notable: NPR straightforwardly (and correctly) using the term many outlets would consider "the R word"

High school me has been nuked from orbit

I’m not in TN-7 but here’s my pick

Nationalization is one of several obstacles here. Whether it's a Democrat running in a deep red state or a pro-labor independent, they're finished as soon as the PACs go up with the "X stands with Marxists, radical trans activists and criminal illegal aliens" ads

Completely agree, with the addendum that profs and TAs should presume these students to be operating in bad faith. Do they WANT to pass the class, or are they trying to go viral and become a martyr-lebrity?

"Debaser," The Pixies, Doolittle "Never Let Me Down Again," Depeche Mode, Music for the Masses "Burning Down the House," Talking Heads, Speaking in Tongues "Bring Da Ruckus," Wu-Tang Clan, Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) "The Spirit of Radio," Rush, Permanent Waves

If I get sick please don't take me to Git Gud Hospital

You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you? He's got this

Skokie Spirit!

god damn I love being an American

It's bad that the head of CBS news lives in the intellectual equivalent of a hyperbaric chamber

Name a film you’ve seen six times

My spicy Star Wars take is that Wilco's album "Star Wars" is definitely the best Wilco album named "Star Wars"

Somehow this is not the plot of Far Cry 7

I used to work at a suburban newspaper. Every week there were school superintendents exposed as embezzlers, police captains racking up DUIs, county officials doing favors for relatives' businesses. All that is less visible now, and the absence of shame leads to normalization.

Meanwhile, in real life, regime protesters are hurdling charges like Saquon Barkley and the attempted prosecution of State Enemy Jim Comey is going full "The Story of Everest"

We’re gonna run out of hot dog costumes

Democrats just beat the brakes off two critical governor races, the R House caucus is fracturing and Trump's got new Epstein and economic problems daily. Democrats are going to control the House in 2027

Might have to pick up a copy of this at Belphegor Interdimensional the next time I'm in Hell

What perfect album came out the year you turned 16

Making up three guys and getting mad at them

As democracy burns, the Paper of Record throws itself on the pyre of the Protected and the Powerful. Pure suicide shot and edited like bravery for an audience of no one.

Demanding to speak to the manager of satire

The median BlueSky user: Sephiroth, but he’s mad at Chuck Schumer

One thing Bari's going to learn about her first newsroom is that the knives are always out

Utterly wild yet utterly familiar. Rush Limbaugh belittled half the country in tirades like this every day for 30 years

I liked my cubicle I had some privacy in my cubicle but then they moved me to the middle of the bond floor and they took away my radio they said before I could listen to it at a reasonable volume and then they took my red Swingline stapler and and that's it I'm I'm going to burn the building down

"Not having Nazi tattoos" is an impossible standard

The thing about "goody two-shoe losers" is they generally make better life choices than running for Senate with a Nazi tattoo, or making this post

[Exit King.]

I've subscribed to Spotify for 13 years but I'm going to drop them this week.

Kids’ soccer games are getting cancelled in my area because federal thugs are on the prowl and The Atlantic is banging on about the “thought police.”

Reminder: do not, under any circumstances, subscribe to The Atlantic. If you are, cancel. You are paying for nothing but hackery at this point. The same four elite writers spending all their time making sure no one is ever mean to them

Do not watch CBS News

D is the GOAT here but I’d consider B for the pizza, pierogi and the ability to eat at IKEA

Heads up, new Antichrist just dropped

Slightly diminish a book Jurassic Playlot

Having a super cool punk show in the 5th district to support my run in the the 9th district or whatever

Brandon Johnson approval rating about to surge past 30 percent