Good news I’m a little drunk

Left my pants at home

@poopfoot.bsky.social it’s your birthday!!!!! hope it’s been a fantastic day, you deserve it my friend!

There’s a new Mumford & Sons song out with Hozier and isn’t that just a gift

I know exactly how the French would handle this ballroom situation

SNAP benefits expire in one week.

I will repost this forever.

It is me and my Notes app against the world

The only ICE I want is in my margarita

You think I’m tacky, baby? STOP TALKING DIRTY TO ME

Me: I posted a risky picture for #TTT Dustin: 🤷‍♂️

And they say women are emotional.

Seeing Ms. Rachel say exactly what needs to be said to Obama is so damn refreshing

Devastated to hear that @bubbanorris.bsky.social passed. www.gofundme.com/f/support-sh...

*fart noises*

In a dive bar with TouchTunes. I am at peace.

Happy Chappell weekend to all my KC friends. I’m so jealous I could scream 🥰

Well done, Blondie. That was fun.

His love was the key that opened my thighs!!!

It sounded nasty but it feels like you’re flirting with me

The glitter pen songs are BACK, baby

Should’ve kissed you anyway 😭😭😭

I was correct in thinking Eldest Daughter would wreck me

I am listening to Taylor’s new album with Em and if you’re into this you should definitely check out Carly Rae Jepsen’s last two albums. Just saying.

I MAKE DEALS WITH THE DEVIL BECAUSE MY DICKS BIGGER

Okay Opalite I am INTO this

They say I’m bad news I just say thanks #thelifeofashowgirl

@kittennursekc.bsky.social @marissasays.bsky.social how we doin Swifties? Any listening plans??

Therapy is so lit.

I love an underrated city. Omaha, NE and Louisville, KY are two of my favorite weekend spots. Great food, fun things to do, affordable.

Oh the dumbest people you ever met are going to be so mad about a Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime show.

BENITO PLAYING THE SUPER BOWL 🥳💃🏻

Everyone thank the lucky shirt

Stop me if you’ve heard this before but

Wearing the shirt in question so we’ll see

Heard you were talking shit

gotta remember that no one likes this shit

Hey a thing I really don’t want to get lost here is that while Tylenol doesn’t cause autism, IT’S FINE TO BE AUTISTIC. Let’s not grant them the premise that autism should be eradicated in our way to correct the science, okay? Okay.

I took Tylenol as needed throughout my pregnancy. I am a doctor. I order Tylenol for pregnant women regularly. Tylenol is safe in pregnancy. RFK Jr is ignoring a huge recent well-done study because he doesn't like the answer it gives. There is no causality between Tylenol and autism.

How many wins before a shirt is deemed lucky

Stop me if you’ve heard this before but

The only thing he’s good for and he didn’t even do that

Did Patrick forget to carry Madam Zeroni up the mountain

You people told me football is fun… and yet

Football should be fun!! Chiefs? Not fun!

We have Benito at home

I 🍻 Oktoberfest

Shorts or jeans?