So bored. Just sat here with my new necklaces, brooches and diadems. Sure they look sparkly and the adrenaline rush was good, but the comedown now I’m back in the office is something awful.

Oh Jesus like 95% of my feed is now Celebrity Big Brother with Coordinated Betrayal.

I was about to go back on The Apps, but having read this I think I’ll just die alone instead www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

“rice is mid” “pasta is mid” listen to yourself, you carry an immense weight of hatred in your heart, it doesnt serve you

Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown

The urge to just disappear and start from scratch somewhere else where nobody knows me is strong today.

New baby weighing video just dropped. Mama lets me take both with my bare hands and I have a regretful announcement about what I think Tuxedo’s markings will look like when he’s older.

Fucking hell I’m an idiot

#clashofthecomics is objectively the best thing ever

I will never not repost this (Sound on for maximum effect)

Fuck off you fucking fuck.

You should definitely all get FREE tickets for this comedy night. Even if you don’t recognise the names, I promise it will be good.

This is great!

Music lovers! Recommend me good albums that have been released this year. I wish to have more options when I come to do my ‘Best Of 2025’ list in a couple of months.

a spokesman for BrewDog said 'this is the one thing we didn't want to happen'

🎃

The Lion, The Witch and The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari

About a Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

Mars Attacks the 50 Foot Woman

Stuart Little Women

Bloody love Fulham, me.

Ollie Watkins miss a penalty? Shocking news.

I remain obsessed by how much this publicity photo from Spaced looks like every British Xennial's First Houseshare Photo. The poses! The sofa! THE LITTLE BAMBOO TABLE FOR THE LANDLINE WITH SPACE BENEATH FOR THE YELLOW PAGES.

Just @ me next time😒

4 years gone. Never forgotten.

Jay Chester, 28, who strives to ensure that everyone is always happy with them at all times, reportedly failed to factor in that people have conflicting needs and desires.

Bloody love it when something reminds you of a song that you haven’t heard in ages, and you listen to it and it still absolutely slaps. Comfortably the best RHCP song (IMO). The drums are so, so good. youtu.be/iyu04pqC8lE?...

Types of posts I make by the amount of likes they typically get (most to least): 1 - Ranting at transphobes 2 - Ranting at other far right idiots 3 - Ranting at the media for trying to ‘both sides’ everything 4 - Telling people about stupid things I have done 5 - My actual life 6 - Jokes

This Week's Onion Magazine:

And here's my assistant, Little Parker Booowles!

Not gonna lie, I wasn’t expecting it to be allowed…

Just had a brief panic when I opened my AirPod case to find it was empty, and thought I had lost them. They were in my ears. Playing music. And I had taken the case out to put them away as I was arriving home. It’s one of those kind of days…

Ta-Nehasi Coates is doing a lot of things with this essay, but one of the most important is fearlessly using examples of anti-trans hate to describe Charlie Kirk's politics. The contrast between his choices and those of other writers for major legacy outlets is revealing.

Robert Redford is Dobert Dedford 😢

It’s depressing to have a friend you’ve known for years, who was liberal and leftist, but who bought entirely into the Trans Panic of recent years, leading him to follow far right accounts on Twitter. And is now arguing that Charlie Kirk was good and ‘so much for tolerant leftists and liberals’.

Have removed the second skin thingy from my tattoo. If anyone has top tips for keeping a fresh tattoo free of bad things, do let me know as this was my first!

My word, this is some hitting in the T20

The world has been especially dark this week and the new baby tapir at the Calgary Zoo has been cheering me up.

democrat melissa hortman was literally politically assassinated in her fucking home less than 3 months ago and now everyone wants to comment on how bad it’ll be now like ok

My dopamine kept going missing, so I got a dragon to guard it for me.

Don’t you open that trap door… You’re a fool if you dare!

Why did my emergency notification alarm go off again at 3.20? I don’t recall snoozing the fucker…

See how much funnier this is than if it was emojis, why did we allow them to invent emojis

It may not be "politically correct" to say this, but I don't care: The United Kingdom is a presidential republic, much like Egypt or France, with a unicameral legislature serving staggered six-year appointments.

The thing that makes it hard for me to feel too bad about Rayner is that New Labour and New-New Labour politics is largely based around doing exactly this sort of stuff to people on benefits who don't even have the time or money to get the right legal advice...

Well that was a fucking great gig night and a much needed solo blowout. Well done to @merex.bsky.social and @terrorpigeon.bsky.social and @panicpocket.bsky.social for a fantastic night that has saved a shit week.

Oh COME ON!

I should watch something new. So, I will watch at least one episode of any TV show that people reply with. Limit of one show per person, and slightly predicated on me being able to actually get hold of the show.

I've discovered a magical land through the back of my wardrobe. The inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.

What’s that? It’s the most wonderful time of the year? In this economy?