Alicia Keys
@missdemeanor.bsky.social
📤 203
📥 258
📝 134
I bring a certain sadness to the conga line
It seems to be an elevator
about 1 month ago
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Less talky more torch lighty
about 1 month ago
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Are we paying taxes this year or not really
about 1 month ago
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If we can't abolish ICE, hopefully actual ice can
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Alicia Keys
Aaron Rupar
about 1 month ago
Protester in Minneapolis just before disappearing in gas: "Fuck you! Stop. Damn! I'm 70 years old and I'm fuckin' angry!"
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Fuck fuck fuck fuck
about 1 month ago
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War Chester Shire Sauce
about 2 months ago
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Lying through my teeth at the dentist
2 months ago
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How long does it take y'all to finish a quart of eggnog
3 months ago
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Alicia Keys
j
3 months ago
babe is an insane name, please refer to me as big dawg
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Cleaned the house because I lost the remote, only to discover it was under the dog the whole time
3 months ago
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Unfortunately giving Tuesday is my reminder to unsubscribe to spam emails
3 months ago
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How many turkey dogs would you say you eat in a day, Timmy?
3 months ago
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What I like about mens skateboarding is when sometimes you can see their little buns
3 months ago
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You're never too old to get a DUI in mom's car
3 months ago
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reposted by
Alicia Keys
Yell In a War
4 months ago
hacking furiously at the invasive bamboo that is my social media feed, knowing that the shoots of unwanted information will only return
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I strongly disagree with the take that Paddington 2 is goated and I feel like the zoomers are pranking me
4 months ago
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Make blowjobs great again
4 months ago
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reposted by
Alicia Keys
DC Pierson
4 months ago
Bach, you have to stop. Your clavier is too well-tempered. Your concertos too Brandenburg. They’ll kill you
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Alicia Keys
derek guy
4 months ago
seeing how many people show up in jeffery epstein's emails makes me happy i never reply to anyone's email
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Life is good when the Ween cover band DM's you to let you know they're playing a show.
4 months ago
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Blippi gives me the chills
6 months ago
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Fuck all of you for getting my hopes up after a very stressful week. Let me know when it does happen.
6 months ago
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Sorry babe, Harry Nilsson stays on during sex 🎵🎶
6 months ago
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If Rosie O'Donnell can tweet on Ambien, I can send emails on salvia.
7 months ago
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Alicia Keys
little lamb
7 months ago
I need beans and I need weed. Everything else is epiphenomenal
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Resisting the urge to take a nap in the bathroom stall
7 months ago
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No, I will not go to Costco sober
7 months ago
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Can't listen to Moby Dick on tape anymore since I threw up after trying trying to fall asleep to it while drunk.
7 months ago
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Passively expecting my good behaviors to take over any day now
7 months ago
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It's turbo time
7 months ago
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The War on Drugs, but (in Emerill Lagasse voice), let's kick it up a notch.
7 months ago
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Alicia Keys
erika
7 months ago
if bagels can have everything so can i
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The Georgia Straight is a treasure
7 months ago
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Telling my doctor I have blurry vision and headaches and also lost my glasses.
7 months ago
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Honk, mimimimimimi
7 months ago
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Goals
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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Maybe my friend's baby will come early so I can still attend the Viagra Boys concert
7 months ago
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I'm entering waxing chicharrón phase
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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How I rationalize addiction to chicharrones
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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It appears I'm back on my bullshit
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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reposted by
Alicia Keys
Star Trek Minus Context
8 months ago
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Alicia Keys
Hyrax Every Hour
7 months ago
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Alicia Keys
Octopus/Caveman
8 months ago
Happy beans day to those who celebrate
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Anybody else choking on their coffee from gulping too fast
8 months ago
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reposted by
Alicia Keys
Ahhhhh
8 months ago
Treasure this moment cause you’ll never have fewer microplastics in you than you do right now
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Alicia Keys
matthewcr
8 months ago
just super stuff
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