My aunt has sacked me from the job of reading her eulogy at her funeral. She said she’d rather my husband do it. Thank F for that. She told me for the hundredth time that she wants a huge send off. As my dad says, it’ll be her last chance to be the centre of attention. She’ll probably live to be 110

My mum will be ninety tomorrow. She’s had dementia, now Alzheimer’s, since she was seventy nine. I don’t think I’ll be able to see her as I’m working and then have a late hospital appointment. I’d usually host a family meal but I’m devoid of energy at the moment. Wish someone else would do it.

My son is trying to book a driving test. He has faffed about for so long that he has to retake his theory. First available driving test is in 18 months time.

I watched House of Dynamite on Netflix last night. I can’t say that Idris Elba made for a very convincing POTUS. Two minutes from a nuclear attack and he’s talking about podcasts 🫤 it wasn’t the most reassuring of films.

My dad bought my mum red roses today even though she has no idea it’s Valentines Day. He buys her flowers every week.

My poor daughter. Some great lump body slammed her during a lacrosse match and she says her arm is now fucked. I didn’t even tell her off for swearing. She’s still traumatised from someone assaulting her friends and trying to break their student house door down and now she’s been harassed by a…

Just seen that a doctor who treated me some years ago and who many of my friends used has been struck off age 67. He seems to have behaved like a fool over a nurse at his clinic and completely abused his position. He was a very talented doctor, what a stupid way to end a career.

A helicopter is circling and the police are looking in my garden. My husband is speaking to them. I wonder who they’re looking for.

In honour of the woman who, more than anyone, is responsible for this moment of transparency with the #EpsteinFiles, we're removing the paywall from this profile 🟨‘Virginia Roberts Giuffre Was an American Hero’ subscribe.bylinetimes.com/edition/80/v...

A list of seven oxymorons... 1. Pretty ugly 2. Fairly unjust 3. Kind of mean 4. Charm offensive 5. Microsoft Works 6. Government intelligence 7. Fun run

My parents have just had this bath chair fitted by Occupational Therapy. My mum is refusing to have anything to do with it. I doubt she’ll ever use it. They have a houseful of expensive equipment that mum won’t use. What a waste of funds and it must happen all over the country. #Alzheimers

Had a nice lunch for a friend’s birthday although it was very cold in the pub. Lovely blue skies though and a very pretty village, Ivy Hatch.

Austin Applebee, what a hero. His mum will never be able to tell him off again. We need more stories about ordinary people doing incredible things.

This is not turning out to be the investment I had hoped for.

Sarah Ferguson to Epstein: "I urgently need £20,000 for rent today.The landlord has threatened to go to the newspapers if I don't pay. Any brainwaves?" What a grubby, grasping, greedy pair she and her pig of an ex husband are. 🤢

Awful day at work then rang my parents. Dad in a flap about his tumble drier not drying properly even though British Gas said there’s nothing wrong with it. They will ban him soon I’m sure, he’s always calling them out. I asked him not to put mum on the phone as she can’t hear anything but he did …

My daughter and her housemate called the police last night after another student had some sort of mental health crisis and tried to break their door down. A rugby playing girl of 6’2”. She’d already assaulted two people, fortunately not hurting them badly. The police put her in a call for the night

As usual I’m not exactly up to date on the latest TV. Am really enjoying #Pluribus though. It’s very strange and funny.

seems like there’s got to be a better way to let them know

The longest January in history is over

For some bizarre reason I didn’t sleep well last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about the Epstein files. Why, in those emails from Sarah Ferguson and Peter Mandelson’s husband, was there no mention of repaying the “ loans”. Or did I just miss that part? My insomnia is in full force.

I just rang my aunt and she has been persuaded by one of the hangers-on that have attached themselves to her to host a twenty first birthday party at her home tonight. Apparently the people were going to hire a hall and a DJ but told my aunt they couldn’t afford it after all. My aunt, for the …

I have spent fifty years rolling my eyes at conspiracy theories where all the elite rich people are in a secret evil gang, and thrillers where everyone remotely important has the same Dark Secret, and now sodding look.

I imagine the demand for Dorit’s book will be about the same as for Melania’s film. #RHOBH

Woman? Not so sure the person in these photos is an adult and are they even conscious? I heard one podcast where a “royal expert” predicted he’ll end up in prison and maybe that will actually happen.

Catherine O’Hara, who starred in legendary films “Beetlejuice” and “Home Alone” before taking a star turn as Moira Rose on “Schitt’s Creek,” has died. She was 71. https://cnn.it/4t7OhRR

Woke up at 2am worrying about a mistake at work that someone else made but I was anticipating having to deal with the fall out today, working by myself. Finally dropped back off to sleep at 5am. Never heard a peep from the complaining person today. What a waste of energy.

Sesame Street chimes in on ICE murders by aiding parents on how to help their children.

I went to my parents, could hear their blaring TV from the next street, and my mum was so annoyed that it was me and not my brother 🙄 Walking home I saw someone driving a super-shiny black Ford Capri and it really cheered me up.

#RHOSLC. I turned off part three of the reunion. So boring and they are all speaking over each other.

On of my favourite accounts on the other site was Slug Soup. This tweet was so lovely I keep a screenshot on my phone. For anyone who is feeling anxious.

My friend was telling me she’s planning a big family holiday to the US. Did she not get the memo?

I enjoyed the David Hockney exhibition. I especially liked these moonlit works which he produced using an iPad.

I’m going to see the David Hockney exhibition tomorrow. I’m looking forward to catching up with my friend who I haven’t seen in a year. I just wish rain wasn’t forecast, it’s so miserable . www.annelyjudafineart.co.uk/exhibitions/...

My daughter rang. She’s been to see Marty Supreme and said it was terrifically boring.

Everything is awful but the creativity behind some of these handmade posters gives me a glimmer of hope in humanity.

My husband is desperately searching for the bar of Lindt chocolate he bought yesterday and now can’t find. Oh dear. It was delicious 😋

My son took his favourite guitar to university and this one has been left behind. I think it’s missing him. I gave it a polish for him. 🎸

I like Diane Lane in anything and “Anniversary “ is no exception. Well worth a watch

Rod Stewart calls out “draft dodger” Trump for denigrating the service of allied combat vets, and says that PM Keir Starmer must insist that Trump publicly apologize.

This morning I have had to prove I’m not a robot about twenty times already. Turns out my work IT platform now forbids access to any sites that use AI. 🤖

Why does no one tell the contestants on #TheTraitors that the word they are looking for is treacherous? Also, why do they all say yourself instead of you? I’m a few episodes behind, the creepy cabin was very amusing but other than that I’m watching very half heartedly.

I got up at 6am after an anxiety dream about not being able to find my way back to my hotel in Tokyo. I’ve never been to Tokyo. When I started taking Propanol for migraine prevention the pharmacist rang me twice asking if I was troubled by vivid dreams. Yes! I’m very troubled. And tired. 😴

Sorry I don’t pick up hitchhikers I have heard some dark stories.

Was about to order a new make up bag from Amazon but remembered that I’m trying (and so far succeeding but it’s only 20th Jan) not to buy from them. Anyway I’ve ordered one from ArtWow I like the collage design. It’s called “Mind in Pieces”

My four favourite facts about the cockchafer beetle: 1. It's called a cockchafer beetle. 2. It’s also sometimes known as a “billywitch”. 3. It’s unusually loud and clumsy by beetle standards and bangs into lots of things when it flies into your house by mistake. 4. It looks like this, close up.

I’m at my parents . If I have a day off I’m usually here sorting out their laundry mountain . Mum is in a miserable mood, moaning that no one comes to see her. She has no idea what it is to be lonely she so well cared for, mostly by my dad. I wish I’d stayed at home and done my own housework.

Victoria Beckham at Brooklyn Beckham’s wedding