“His matchup is terrible. His offense is in shambles. And guess what? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!” Jameis Winston Is Inevitable +1500 www.fantasylife.com/articles/bet...

[1/2] What's our stance on using cologne? Matt's giant skeleton needs a Santa hat. Paul is seeing yellow. We bemoan the latest news about Congress outlawing recreational weed use. Plus 2026 tour dates for Jokers of Magic announced, how to shut down stupid baby questions…

For those keeping track at home, today is (allegedly) the 58th anniversary of the PGF (Patterson/Gimlin Film) being shot in California. It remains either the best video evidence of Sasquatch's existence, or the best Sasquatch hoax to date.

southern grapes in September

As yall start to digest and create football content. Just a reminder he does not like the name Tet. Has stated this publicly. Either call him Tetairoa or TMac. If you can handle Antonio, you can handle Tetairoa.

[1/2] Hazel Honeysuckle returns with a Kickstarter for a new @boldlystripped.bsky.social book with @dangrrrously.bsky.social. We ask Hazel what's the scuttlebutt on bringing back The Experience, how Ferengi burlesque would work, and who's the better Star Trek character: Phlox or Neelix?

Here's an idea of what this may look like.

I listened to some Carly Simon with the kids yesterday. Then before I went to bed I was watching a John Wayne Gacy documentary. Sleep was rough last night. I had some dreams, there were clowns in my coffee.

Some select photos from last Saturday's “Hot Seat: An #Improv #Comedy Show” with @thefamouspaul.bsky.social, @thebradsherwood.bsky.social, @mindnoodler.bsky.social, and @jonathanmangum.bsky.social, at @majesticrep.bsky.social in #LasVegas.

How many 100-yard rushing games did Barry Sanders have in 1997? Think you know everything there is to know about the 1990's in the NFL? Test your skills to win prizes like Footballguys swag and subscriptions! Join us tonight at at 9 PM/ET with special guest Dan Hindery!

"Hold onto your butts!" Tonight's Trivia Night Live is all about Jurassic Park! We will talk dinosaurs, paleontology, and the greatness of some of the NFL's prehistoric players with special guest @krueth.bsky.social ! Play along in the chat with Kahoot tonight at 8:00 PM/ET!

His bread surrogate was out crowdsurfing and throwing rolls.

Yo! if you're invited to #SFB15 and signed up for MFL, you should have an invite in your inbox (check spam, promos, etc). please accept that invite ASAP so we can stay ahead. if you don't see your MFL invite please send me a DM here

Ask and ye shall receive.

Granny Smith (apples) implies the existence of a Grandpa Smith

[1/2] Faux PBRs and a Malört iced mocha whet our appetites for cheese. We talk about people who embrace the cruise ship life; Matt, not Jacob, has a public bathroom story; and ChatGPT pitches an unprompted flurry of joke material.

Hey @thefamouspaul.bsky.social at the start of the most recent @heyscoops.bsky.social episode (1215: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner) was your short singing of "having themselves a party, hanging out with my family" a reference to "Birdemic: Shock and Terror?" I know you love some Rifftrax.

Attention #SFB15 family! As is tradition, I've taken my projections and input the #SFB15 scoring into them for everyone! Follow the link below for the projections, and don't forget to donate to @fantasycaresorg.bsky.social or your favorite charity if you can! docs.google.com/spreadsheets...

Help out our friend Big Sexy with his recovery.

Out-of-context @heyscoops.bsky.social quotes. Episode 278: Rod Stewart's Bread Surrogate from 10/6/2016. "Again, Donald Trump running for President is a good thing..." -- @mindnoodler.bsky.social

But will Rod Stewart's Bread Surrogate be bringing the rolls? #InsideJoke

When I found out no Bears quarterback had ever thrown for 4,000 yards, I saw an opportunity. Because I have also never thrown for 4,000 yards, I’m no different than these quarterbacks. Except for one little thing. You see, I’ve rehearsed every outcome of this season. I’m ready.

A little more than 15 hours left on our merch sale at heyscoops.dashery.com. Up to 27 percent off on items sold!

We've got a merch sale going on for the next 35 hours at heyscoops.dashery.com!

Might as well just call them the 49 ERs now.

Every year, I thoroughly examine each position, categorizing players into groups with similar profiles, ranking them within those buckets, and providing recommendations based on market values. Check out my thoughts on wide receivers here. @footballguys.com www.footballguys.com/article/2025...

For those of you over here just because Twitter is down, I want to take this opportunity to remind you all that @cooterdoodle.bsky.social got a hole-in-one back in 2012.

[1/3] Jazz demon Mike Jones (@jonesjazz.bsky.social) talks about his podcast, "The Stereo Image." We discuss David Silverman, the status of "physical media," early digital formats, Broadway musicals that Jonesy dislikes, and when songwriting was a living. Also, a tornado is coming!

Hard to find a more useful article series than Jay’s Dynasty Investor. His latest: www.thedevyroyale.com/p/the-dynast...

We're going live on Twitch at www.twitch.tv/heyscoops for tomorrow's show taping, with this shady character on the mics and knobs, along with special guest Mike Jones, aka Jonesy. Live on Twitch, Wed., May 21, at 11 a.m.-ish Vegas time (PDT).

Out of context @heyscoops.bsky.social quote: "You want some more for the wolf show!? Don't make me turn off this money faucet, 'cuz I won't!" @thefamouspaul.bsky.social (Episode 1209: Biscuits From Scratch With Arabica-cadabra)

Time to annouce our 1st giveaway. When we hit £1000 for 2025, we will be giving away a signed item to the winner's choice of team. To be eligable, you must have signed up and donated. Those who pre-donated last year for this year, and have an invite, are eligible See 👇for TCs

Narrator: And hurt he would be.

I appreciate her outspokenness. I really do. But she and her colleagues need to do more. Way more. And I’m glad we understand her stance and a few others’, but I’m past the point of caring about understanding. American citizens need action. Immediate action.

I wrote about moms, kind of. comfort-moods.beehiiv.com/p/listen-up-...

A rare win for toxic masculinity.

He wants to be pope? He’s already the king kid diddler. Guess he just wants it to be official.

Out of context @heyscoops.bsky.social quote. "I want the Little Mermaid to be like The Wire." -- @mindnoodler.bsky.social (Episode 1076: Let's Give Them Something To Caulk About)

Good morning! We’re in the process of planning our next few weeks of shows, but we had to get a 2025 NFL Draft recap up to discuss last weekend’s craziness. We hit on: - Implications of the Shedeur pick - Head-scratching decisions - Best classes Check it out🫡 podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/q...

I wrote the most analytical piece of NFL Draft scouting content I've ever done. You should check it out 👇 www.footballguys.com/article/2025...

I’m so excited to announce that signups for @fantasycaresorg.bsky.social #FCEliminators are live! Please log in to your account at scottfishbowl.com and sign up! Most drafts are scheduled to start on MFL on 5/5. No minimum entry fee or payouts but we ask that a donation be made for each entry! ✌️❤️

[1/3] Harry the Gorillagician visits The Churn, but first Matt needs to walk the extra mile for the kids. Harry comes from a debut performance on "Fool Us," gets into his Matt-like experience with "America's Got Talent," and gives Piff the Magic Dragon pause for concern at their first meeting.

Similar to the “meat sweats,” the “Draft Sweats” are just as intimidating. www.fantasylife.com/articles/fan...

Happy birthday to this guy @mindnoodler.bsky.social!

trump administration announces its intent to deport members of the notorious Bloodhound Gang

The #SeattleStorm drafted French phenom #DominiqueMalonga No. 2 overall in the #WNBADraft along with three other picks. What does that mean for the Storm and its roster? Check it out here via #BeyondWSports www.beyondwomenssports.com/seattle-stor...