Given that Summertown is heavily infested with estate agents, I wonder if there was a Frank following him?

Truly the End Times are approaching. What in the name of Beelzebub is this abomination? I only went into the supermarket to buy butter, and now my sanity hangs in tatters.

Somewhere in the world lives the psychopath who is responsible for the design of Microsoft Word mailmerge. I am happy to inform him (for it is surely a 'him') that his master plan to drive us all insane is working extremely well. What a steaming pile of unreliable capricious bullshit.

Really miffed that the Alan Carr trailer for Traitors doesn't include O Come All Ye Traitors. Dreadful missed seasonal opportunity.

Ok @katebevan.com I concede defeat to you this year. Another time I'll be more careful in my choice of local concerts.

Extremely relieved that I read the replies at a safe interval before/after any mealtime.

You know that thing where you keep a nifty little cardboard box for months because it might come in handy, and eventually you lose patience and bin it, and then a few days later you really need just that particular size of box? Yup, that thing.

Time again for my favorite christmas post ever, one that still makes me laugh every time i read it

Deep joy in the pundamole (with apologies to @professorunwin.bsky.social obvs)

Never - NEVER - let a retired electronics engineer loose on repairing Christmas lights.

RANT ALERT: I am VERY pissed-off at the creeping dominance of "gifting" (focus on the purchased object) over "giving" (focus on the generous act). Yes, I am a curmudgeon.

Bruckner 7 on Radio 3 now and oh my it gets me every time. Just when you think you've gone completely bonkers with the madness of it all, the wildly joyful 3rd movement kicks in and you're bopping round the sitting room.

BBC R3 news bulletin just now reported on a bloke who nicked and swallowed a valuable piece of jewellery, including the funniest news line I've heard in years: - the man was arrested, underwent a medical assessment and IS BEING CLOSELY MONITORED (my emphasis) 💩

Re-post if you think there’d be a market for this… 👇😻🎄

WHY in the name of all that is holy do I have every imaginable audio adapter cable EXCEPT THE ONE I NEED RIGHT NOW? Soldering iron deployed, much muttering and cursing and general wasting of time.

@quiresandplaces.com had it his own way for too long. It's #CursedLyrics time. O come all ye Traitors Cloakèd and deceptive, Come ye, o come ye To Claudia's realm. Come and betray us Holding us on tenterhooks; O glue us to the telly, O glue us to the telly, O glue us to the telly For Celia's farts.

Ah shit. Tom Stoppard. A proper genius.

Awaiting lemon scented towels.

Cheese people are the best people.

Also not sorry.

The BIG COAT has been deployed.

There are hundreds of millions of people in the world who are smarter than I am, and my physique invites ridicule. But I've never been responsible for trashing half the government infrastructure of a major nation, so there's that, I suppose.

This is vital work. Further study is required to elucidate regional and cultural variability of this phenomenon.

desperately resists urge... fingers hover over keyboard... and finally the primal horrors win out over the veneer of civilization.. THAT TAKES THE BISCUIT

At least Prometheus de-livered.

Very pleased to see @parkinsons.org.uk CEO Caroline, and at least two Movers and Shakers, in the audience for the parliamentary debate triggered by @moversand.bsky.social Parky Charter. Full video of the debate at parliamentlive.tv/event/index/...

Digging For Britain's Got Talent #TwoShowsInOne

In the Night Gardeners' World #TwoShowsInOne

Prometheus Parcel Services. We're all fired up to de-liver daily.

HYPERLOOP

Never complain again about the challenges of UK Bin Nights... *** I have experienced the bin calendar in Orvieto, Umbria *** ... where the streets are too narrow for proper bin trucks so every household has numerous teeny bins and a Machiavellian daily calendar: www.cittaslow.it/sites/defaul...

Urgh, so at least I now know what this bastard virus *isn't*, but I still don't know what it *is*. Three days of misery, no sign of improvement yet. Like I said, bastard virus. Might be man-flu, I suppose, but it's still a bastard.

If there were no lift, this would be enraging. There *is* a lift, so instead it is really funny. The Maltings is a fab local arts centre in north Norfolk run by lovely people, and its accessibility is great.

Oh boy, I LOVE our street WhatsApp group. They're now complaining about a recent MS Office upgrade losing their footnotes. Makes my usual bins reminder content look a bit tame.

Norfolk.

Hoping @countbinface.bsky.social can get behind this.

A radio programme like the Shipping Forecast but it’s called Bin Day and it just reads out every single council in the country’s bin schedule

Will the senior editorial staff of @oxfordclarion.bsky.social now resign because they have misleadingly spliced a story about dirty public toilets with their old material about The Netty?

The existence of Norfolk implies the existence of Nandfolk. I am travelling to Norfolk this afternoon and my journey will be ruined by this thought, so I need to spoil your day as well.

If, like me, you feel an immediate urge to get out and flammulate something just as soon as you've encountered the word, you will certainly want to read the latest episode of the admirable Year of a Hundred Birds: levparikian.substack.com

North Norfolk effortlessly scoring magna cum laude in its "English pastoral idyll" assignment. Dude over the doorway wants to know what business you have entering here.

It's not an authentic leek-hat unless it comes from the Poireau-Chapeau region.

In our sailing club we always insisted on hanging a pet moggy over the downwind side of the boat, keeping up the fine old tradition of lee-cat.

Hallowe'en is when all the spirits come out, right? So that means I'm allowed a gin tonight. I'm sure those are the rules. Right? Might even deploy the Drouin "Pira" gin, which is AMAZING - smells almost like calvados, but is utterly glorious with tonic.

Relatable.

📊 #dataviz ⚠️PSA: Time to issue the annual Halloween _Axes of Evil_ Warning. 👹 Don't let any of these cross your threshold.

Irresponsibly posting my location on social media.

Huge news - Parliament is going to debate the #parkypetition on November 17th

Well, that was a different scam call. Caller: May I speak to the property owner of [my old address] Me: No. [Hang up.] Calls again. I hang up. Calls again. I decide to leave the line open. Three minutes' muttered obscenity, then music, then more obscenities. Then repeated calls. Arseholes.

The problem is.. there is a whole load who are not really part of the building industry. Whenever you launch a government grant scheme a whole load of opportunistic cowboys pop up to cash in.. and then disappear, leaving behind bad/misold installs. Happened with solar too. Happens every time.