I think you’ll find it wasn’t King Duarte but was in fact our very own Heston Blumenthal.

Welcome to the most important job you'll ever have @andyburnham.bsky.social Cartoon brilliance by @bjennings90.bsky.social for @theguardian.com

Watching the build-up to the Burnham coronation. I can’t quite make out the background music but assume it’s an Oasis cover of Zadok the Priest.

My room mate Emma is very jolly, she puts a magnet in her bed.

Bad haircuts on dogs.

me trying anything #Cat #Caturday #Catsofbluesky #LifuX

Overheard in Morrisons earlier: ‘Staff call for Ethel!’ Didn’t they win the Mercury prize?

Me pretending to injure myself at work so they'll send me home.

You must be spectacularly stupid to be taken in by Nigel Farage. Sadly, the UK has more than its fair share of spectacularly stupid people ☹️

It’s grim up north #manchester

He's lovely 😍

Eddie’s response to the World Cup.

Today, I set off to walk Eddie in my slippers. To be precise, I was wearing the slippers. Not Eddie. I realised after five minutes and dragged him home so I could change into trainers. Needless to say, he wasn’t impressed.

I had a phone conversation earlier about older people doing law degrees. I then checked my #instagram and it was full of adverts for law degrees for older people. Hmmm.

I doubt I will ever witness a better description of pheasants than the time I heard a ten-year-old call them "fashion chickens".

Well, Madonna’s Confessions II is excellent. Goodness knows how she can open her mouth to sing after all the plastic surgery. By rights, it should be round the back of her head. Anyway, well done Madge.

Coffee here 😊 One of my most thrilling experiences in the recent past was spending an hour being aurally assaulted by a glorious band from Kinshasa

Is it wrong that Eddie and I are drinking wine during the hydration breaks? It’s the stress. #ENGDRC

Sad news about Penelope Keith. Comic genius. I once sat next to her in the reception of Wedgewood Mews studios in Soho but was too in awe of her to say anything.

Eddie’s been to the groomers today and looks like a puppy.

Gosh. Aren’t the nights drawing in?

Breaking: Keir Starmer overheard performing karaoke at Chequers - Should I stay, or should I go now? Should I stay, or should I go now? If I go, there will be trouble. And if I stay, it will be double. So come on now and let me know: Should I stay or should I go?

I haven't the foggiest idea what to do with myself.

Chalkie Davies Snoopy in the style of Jean Miro

Eddie this evening, in fluffy mode. He’s booked in for a number one crop at the groomers on Monday.

I’m off my face on Clarityn and have half a ton of Vaseline bunged up my nose. Welcome to the lovely world of hay fever.

My new guilty pleasure (now Neighbours has gone) is Chateau DIY. Perfect convalescent viewing.

He's back 😄 #archaeohistories

In an effort to avoid using evil weedkiller, I just put salt on some weeds. But I didn’t have any normal salt, so it’s SEA salt. Does this mean my dandelions are now middle class?

A scary Manchester gang next to the canal at the end of the street.

Sad news about David Hockney. Total genius. I have his Nichols Canyon hanging above the log burner. One of my all time favourites.

To be fair, he really needs daytime rest after being up all night posting fantasy A-I images of himself on "Truth" Social, as all presidents do.

Hat.

Wassily Kandinsky (1926)

The wood at the end of the road. Only a few miles north of central Manchester.

I just walked past next door’s toddler who was totally blacked up and must have looked a bit shocked. ‘Ah,’ his mum explained, ‘He went to the face painting at the farm and asked to be a bat.’

Looking forward to Trump accepting this like the adult he is.

The lady opposite me on the train was reading this. To be fair she was only on the first chapter.

Vermeer’s Girl With The Pearl Earring will be shown in Osaka, later this year, and the press conference was as Japanese as you’d expect #Vermeer

Otherwise, the article was perfect

Polish crested chicken... Adorable and I would love one 😍

Far Side break.

85 Candles 🎂 today for BOB DYLAN

"Sorry, I can't come out to play, my Mum said no." .

To bring a smile to your face A 2,000 year-old figurine of two ‘Dancing Dogs’ 🐾❤️ Blackware ceramic, Colima, West Mexico, 200 BC - 200 AD. 📷 Princeton University Art Museum #Archaeology

Kitchen at Domaine D'Audabiac (2024) by Aldo Balding. Oil on canvas.

Well, I had my heart operation and it went very well. Seven hours. Two top surgeons. A new aortic and mitral valve. Onwards and upwards ❤️

Winston Churchill and Charlie Chaplin on the set of ‘City Lights’ in 1929.

James Proudfoot, British. Sun on A House, Dieppe, 1937

Good morning/afternoon photo by Edward Selfe