Over the moon with this unique and rare original sign - it’ll look lovely in either the utility room or my ground floor bog. But can you guess where it lived in its working life since the 1950s, pointing people the right way? ⁉️🚭⁉️

Shocked to see this in @countrylifemag.bsky.social magazine. How on earth could something so fundamental to my home town be ‘up for sale’? The Common?? What!?!?!? 😟

When I have food that starts looking like this, I throw it out. I suggest the United States does the same.

I bought a delightful vintage LT railway sign this morning, & in the dealer’s showroom shelves I noticed 2 amazing original #drwho costume heads - a Sea Devil & a Sontaran. I almost had to hide behind the nearest sofa! 🫣

According to Paul, Canterbury Cathedral is in Shropshire 🫤 #dimbritain

This is getting ridiculous; what on earth would I want to review my weekly shopping for? The day it flies off the shelf dressed as an ancient Egyptian & does a sand dance just for me is the day I might consider a critique. Until then my sausages will have to remain anonymous. Good afternoon💅🏼

Reform is reporting £331 million in savings across the councils it runs, but Private Eye’s Rotten Boroughs writer Saba Salman says the claims are complete guff. Watch the full episode of Page 94, the Private Eye podcast, on YouTube.

Bugger up the infotainment system on every car I have ever owned that I’ve tried to run it on. You’re welcome.

I’ve just eaten a Clementine. That’s my Yule done & dusted. Although I might have a Brazil nut & a fig at some point. My mum used to buy dried figs this time of year. Half a packet of them & you’re on the bog for the rest of the evening. Xmas was tough back in my day. 💅🏼

What I'm wearing to the Bluesky Christmas party:

When is someone going to tell film/advert makers that foam looks nothing like snow. It’s foam. Ooh look, it’s foaming. #foam

Bill Gates Epstein Files latest From the new Private Eye, out now.

Blimey! These stills are from a BBC documentary about office Christmas parties in 1970. The bloke in the first pic is just 26yrs old!!! The 2nd bloke is - and you won’t believe it - 38!!!! (And also a vampire by the look of it) 🧛🏽‍♂️ Times were hard then 🫣

In a caff waiting for my favourite record shop to open. It’s one of them ones where scruffy beards, dungarees & beanie hats go. There’s a sofa in it. Music’s nice but the coffee isn’t to my taste. It has a slightly dungy after-twang to it. I’ll never make it last 20m. Should’ve had a Chai 😶

Bye then . . . . #goodriddance

HS2 coming along nicely I see . . . 💅🏼

Anyway I’m relaxing on the big train up to that London 💅🏼

Bye then . . . Leave your ‘dignity’, passport, and unused Pizza Express vouchers in the nearest bin on the way out . . . . 💅🏽

I had high hopes that these alien ‘disclosure’ docs on Prime might be the real thing. But this ‘know it all’ weirdo seems to feature in all of them & he seems to have high expectation & faith in Trump. So that’s all credibility evaporated. *rolls eyes* 👽🛸👽🛸👽🛸

@bigjet.tv Great #funkyshot screen capture from today’s live broadcast from LHR. Thanks Jerry 😎

Last night I had a dream that I got on a Metropolitan Line train that was going to ‘Rolling Seas’ What’s that all about out?!?!?? Eh????

The more Xmas tv adverts I see the more ridiculous the whole festival seems. It’s just 3 month’s worth of relentless Black Friday nonsense. It makes no sense at all. Any of it. So I’ve decided I’m going to ignore it from now on. And I’m not sending any bloody cards either. Good morning💅🏼

Is that the best they can do? Seriously? They can take photos with that floating telescope thing of the whole galaxy and horses head nebulas billions of miles away that are pin sharp & then they release this? If that’d been on my roll in Snappy Snaps it would have come back with a sticker on it 🤔

Sat next to a bloke on the train He has his laptop on the table next to me He’s typing into a box labelled ‘Problem Alignment - Goals & Non-Goals’ Thank Christ I’m retired & not subjected to all this type of HR bullshit anymore. It really is time all this meaningless garbage was called out

That Tilda Swinton? She were nothing until she got into packet rice. 💅🏼

Margate storm soaked abandoned scarlet boxing glove of despair 😞 #margate #margatebeach

Caff of the day - #margatestation There’s no heating in here and it’s sleeting outside - but being British we are having lots of fun at the seaside 🤗

I’ve played this LP to buggery since it came out in early 1978 & come to realise that (apart from my beloved T.Rex albums) I’ve played this more than any other LP. It’s still as luscious as ever & hasn’t aged a day. Volume up to 12 with Amanda & I’m in heaven! 😎🤩😎 #amandalear #discoheaven

Things that can sod off, & when they’ve sodded off sod off some more: 1. Black Friday. WTF even is it? Nasty,nasty,nasty. 2. Xmas TV ads with creaking tablefuls of cold food & ‘families’ laughing hysterically at nothing. 3. Ant & bloody Dec & that jungle thing. Good morning & kind regards💅🏽

For those that are interested a new episode of the #graveyardramblings is now available on YouTube & Instagram. I finally got around to uploading it. I wonder who the tall man in the grey coat looking for Christine was? Enjoy 👻 youtu.be/8xBK4KBCBxg?...

I’ve had a short #graveyardramblings recorded for a wee while now, but not got round to posting. Something holding me back . . . but what?!? 🙁☠️👻☠️

Konichiwa Biatches - let’s do this thang of a Saturday with my obsession: the #pizzicatofive 🎌 youtu.be/pFR_eLgsLg4?...

Now can we have some #tigerfeet please? I wanna do that dance #mud #TOTP 🙌🏼

Yes please! This is more like it! My hero🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 #marcbolan #trex #getiton #flyrecords #TOTP

At last! A gallery that offsets the brilliance of #leonardodavinci with a nice desk, a plastic pot plant and a can of Fabreze. Hopefully it’ll put off the Just Stop Oil maniacs too. 💅🏽

Come on pop pickers - let’s have some #trex please. Ta muchley #TOTP

Things I would rather do than watch a telethon . . .

I’m now in a different caff Bit more earthy Terence Trent Darby is on the stereo I’m having a bacon sandwich - and there was a choice of bread. Brown or white And I was offered sauce. But I declined.

In an Hastings coffee shop. They have an exceptionally noisy coffee machine. Acker Bilk’s ‘Stranger On The Shore’ is playing on the stereo. It occurs to me that, just at this moment, this is possibly the most depressing place on the planet. Luckily I’m only here for a small one & a croissant.🥐

I’m sat here enraptured by my favourite Organ piece at volume 11 on the stereo. Then I look at the back of the CD and it says it was made in West Germany 🇩🇪 I suddenly felt very old.

Over the moon that one of my best friends has just been elected as the new General Secretary of ASLEF. Dave will do a superb job for the members and I wish him all the best 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 @aslefunion.bsky.social

Morning all - I’m getting over my jet lag by doing the Sloppy Joe!!!! youtu.be/9Brurt6v7eo?...

The lady on the #elizabethline keeps pronouncing Shenfield as ‘Shinfield’ Huh? Is she from New Zealand? 💅🏼

Derrière la grande horloge . . . innit. 💅🏼

The sky in #paris is one of the most beautiful I have seen in years. Every shot looks like a #magritte painting

This documentary had a profound effect on me. I became obsessed with it. I even wrote to #jobriath asking him about this musical he’d written. I wanted to be in it. Sadly he had died before I got the chance to meet him. It remains unperformed to this day. That makes me sad 😞

And here is the great Stanley Bard - manager of the Hotel Chelsea. I met him on my first trip to NYC. He invited me to stay. ‘You do t have to go back to London’ he said, ‘stay with us’. I was tempted. If I had my life would’ve changed forever

The best Arena programme ever made is now on - Chelsea Hotel from 1981 - don’t miss it !!!