I have toast. They want the toast

Walkies with the baby earlier. Not sure this dog ever stops wagging her tail

Local Facebook gold. The comments are exactly as you would expect.

Honk No lies detected #Grease2IsBetterThanGrease

Slightly increase a band 3Unlimited

Hypothetically, if you were trimming your downstairs and accidentally cut your ballsack a little bit, what would you recommend for it to stop it throbbing/itching? Asking for a friend.

Churned some butter this morning. I’m so domesticated.

Puppy all bathed and ready for her show tomorrow. She’s not that impressed with me. What’s the betting she craps in her bed and sits in it now.

Fucksake. Not that I expected much more from a place that once elected Liz Truss as our MP

Bonus today - I logged on to my account and it turns out I won some in February as well and hadn't realised. The Milky Bars are on me.

Democratic duty completed 🗳️

Bangers and mash tonight. So, naturally, I made a little mashed potato volcano and filled it with gravy lava.

£50 on the Premium Bonds this month. Which is nice.

Home alone today as Tony’s off stewarding a dog show today all day. Door’s on the latch.

Happy Star Wars Day!

Lovely day for cleaning the solar panels. Unfortunately the lichen wasn’t as easy to remove as we thought. We’ve got some stuff to put on but it needs to sit on them for 36 hours and there’s rain due 🙁

Puppy walkies into town today. The bakery is dog friendly but the puppy isn’t necessarily bakery friendly so she stayed outside.

Thankfully this Wyclef/Bono abomination passed me by at the time. Jfc #totp

It’s my darling Trudy’s first birthday today. She was born into my hands and it’s hard to believe she was ever that small. She’s has all the fuss and attention today

Pratchett Day I think about this quote a lot

They say people on here don’t understand jokes, but I once got mass reported over on TikTok when someone asked “what’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?” And I said “no one’s ever been arrested for violin-ing with kids”

That Frog Faced Cunt Farage was in my corner of Norfolk today. He’ll go literally anywhere to avoid being in parliament or his own constituency.

Dog show today down at a local equestrian place. Best puppy in breed in Irish Setter and a decent showing in English. Took the youngest out to see how she would cope surrounded by other dogs, lots of people, and lots of barking - she was totally unphased 😍

Sad news about Pink Punters back in MK - an arson attack last night has gutted the club. Thankfully they got everyone out in time. So many good nights there www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Walkies to the shops earlier in the sunshine has perked me up a bit. This afternoon we have to wash and groom some of the dogs ready for a show tomorrow. That’s going to be messy.

Oh dear. How sad. Nevermind. I hope the elephants were okay

Teams message from a colleague earlier: ‘Sorry, dealing with a burnt boob’ Update before we finished for the week: boob is fine.

Just watching TikTok Live and saw a couple of lads in Manchester doing some urban exploring. Well, they were breaking into the roof of an abandoned building. The live stream cut short when the cops turned up and they got arrested 😐

Without stating your age, post your favourite film released the year you turned 18

Diarrhoea-HUH #totp

"There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist."

Genuinely one of the coolest things I've ever seen a cultural venue post

I’m not convinced that those ladies are playing those trumpets #totp

I'm starting to think that maybe FIFA need to take back their peace prize

Got my hair did, didn’t I. Powers restored.

Great solo game of The Old King’s Crown earlier. Narrowly beat the simulacrum by 1 point. The strategic options in this are incredible - each turn has so many variables and the automa opponent is really well crafted. This is going to be a staple of my table #boardgames

Decent amount of chocolate on one of my Easter Eggs today. It’s thicker than a Reform voter in some places.

As the weather is sort of warming up it’s ice cream season. Today’s batch is, appropriately, chocolate.

If you’re asleep when It happens, would you want to be woken up?

Remember when that bullfighter got gored in the hoop? Good times.

Lycra's a bit tight on some of the Cambridge crew there 👀 #BoatRace

Back in the day I was absolutely feral for Jay from 5ive #totp

“She never drinks the water makes you order French champagne” Surely all Champagne is French? #totp

Perfection

It’s been a mad few weeks at work but now I’m off for 10 days. Going up to That London next week to see Belle & Sebastian but other than that will be relaxing with the dogs. Bliss.

I want to go to bed but I want to watch the Artemis launch. Bloody love a rocket launch

If you see that Michael Warburton Grifter sharing his stolen wares and AI photos just block him on sight, and anyone who follows him. This site was better when we all just blocked dickholes like him and made them go and write about how this site was dead.

Jennifer Coolidge had it right. I could sit and not talk for hours.

Ha!

I like this No kings rally sign