Christ, even the Bananas are dunking on Cal.

God I wish there was a Waffle House near me rn

If only we'd spent the last quarter century investing in renewable energy.

Watching Zootopia 2 and Nick 100% deserved that tram from Copenhoofen

This is a really vibrant spring training game on tv rn

Honestly the NYC subplot is the flex everyone thinks it is

What the French, toast?! You guys remember that commercial from the 90s, right? So since I'm gonna be dying of influenza anyway

Ok either this is the flu or a government-engineered bioweapon, and I'm not saying those are equal possibilities

Happy birthday, Kirby Puckett 🎈 #cardsky (Other than the card, those are (I'm told) swatches of the roof and turf from the Metrodome, so that's pretty neat!)

Obviously I'm not a black woman, but my wife is, and yeah Target is absolutely dead to her

For no particular reason other than I think need a timeline cleanse, here's my small (but growing!) Rockies purple color match pc 😀 #cardsky

Trump: [Iran] has been totally decapitated Iran:

"What radicalized you" well this is the kind of music I listened to in high school, so I guess mystery solved? (NSFW lyrics, which should probably be expected given the title of the song)

Terror rains drenching, quenching the thirst of the power dons, that five-sided fist-agon The rotten sore on the face of the Mother Earth gets bigger, the trigger's cold, empty your purse

Not that anybody asked, and this isn't a prediction, but based off of vibes and approximately 15 innings of spring training ball I've watched, here's how I'd set the #Tigers defense for Opening Day 😀 #cardsky

...you spend it on slaughtering innocent people on the other side of the planet. This is America, after all.

You are right, I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself. - Dr. Zaius

Idk how else to say this so I'm just gonna say it I'm so tired of living on a planet that's ruled over by a race of psychotic apes

Idk why more people don't listen to me 🤷‍♂️ #tigers

Racism is extremely expensive. And one day ppl will understand what that means. I’m guessing today’s not that day. Happy Thursday good people!

AW JEEZ I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE PROTESTERS GET SHOT IN THE HEAD BY GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES GOSH THAT MUST BE AWFUL

Frankly, I'm a whole lot more concerned with the death cult filled with racist white people that bombed Iran in order to trigger the Second Coming and Armageddon. But that's just me.

What's a line delivery you'll never forget?

Holy fucking shit I'm so god damned tired of being held hostage by the dumbest motherfuckers on this stupid planet.

I know I've posted this card before, but I couldn't find it for the life of me, and now I found it! #cardsky Maybe a rebound season is coming? 🙏

If only ANYBODY had warned them ahead of time 😭

Capitalism drives competition and innovation, and that's why utility companies need the government to shut down a new technology to protect their profits, even if it means higher prices for ordinary Americans. Yay America! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Guess who just pitched for Team Italy behind Nola 👀

In terms of pure capitalistic greed, Elf 2 is a no brainer.

Does this include pics of the time he kick flipped a skateboard directly into his nards on live tv, or are we just talking new pictures?

Like, these dorks were complaining about how officers in their unit (not them, of course) were somehow tricked into violating someone's constitutional rights, and they tried soooo hard to frame it as something OTHER THAN a law enforcement training issue 🤣

"Pro-life"

Lol trust me, the historians know EXACTLY what America's "values" are.

Humanity could be entering its Star Trek era, but we're too busy letting mediocre men like Jim Cramer pretend like they're important on tv.

Oh sweet, I didn't realize I have mandatory active shooter training from 10-12 today. And that's when my day went from good to great!

He is all of us

Dynasty league trade offer: his Luis Garcia Jr (2B) for my Eugenio Suarez (3B)? Suarez is better, but Garcia is younger. My only 2B currently is Colt Keith, and I at least have Colson Montgomery (and Keith fwiw) at 3B for this year. 16 teams × 28 players = not a lot of available FA.

Zoo animals aren't the only ones who suffer from zoochosis, fwiw (I'm talking about me, I don't want to live on this fucking planet anymore)

I just can't believe that a political party that promised to inflict economic hardship on all of us if we elected them would follow through on that promised economic hardship once elected.

Maybe I'm just missing this discussion, but what happens if (when) Trump chickens out again and tries to turn tail and run, but Iran doesn't agree to any cessation of hostilities?

Me: I have a hearing that's going to start anytime between now and like 4:15, so my availability today is TBD Co-worker: Ok how does 1:00 sound for a call? Me:

Of course, if Ollie North had his way, we'd be having a very different conversation right now.

Up 92 cents per gallon and counting! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I was told that we'd be at war with Iran if I voted for Kamala. Turns out they were right 🤷‍♂️ Hope you're all enjoying getting everything you voted for! I'm so happy for all of you ☺️

They can't hear you, Lindsey.

Dumbest timeline.

Hey @jpesq.bsky.social did you see McGonigle homered *again* today?

𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝘁 $𝟯𝟬𝟬 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻' 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘁 and an empty spot in your baseball display case. Who ya takin'... the slugger coming off an epic season or the absolute legend? ⚾💵⚾ 𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗦: bit.ly/cal-ken-base... #CalRaleigh #KenGriffeyJr #Mariners #Seattle #Autographs #AutographedBaseballs

If you're scared of protesting or a general strike because you could lose your job, healthcare, and housing, or even go to jail, now you understand why the US has no universal healthcare or housing and no guaranteed parental leave, but DOES have the largest prison and police system on planet Earth.