lol lmao

He's not sleeping, a bug landed in his eye and he's trying to suffocate it

Guess who got to skip work today because he spent all night in the ER with one hell of a scratched cornea and was essentially functionally blind until about 15 minutes ago!

Somebody sure looks content. MUST BE NICE

As an elder millennial who's never lived through a Republican administration that didn't invade the Middle East, allow me to be the first to say: I smell another forever war! 😀

It's mother's day, post a mother.

Look at this shit. Fuck you white leftists.

THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE STORE 🚨

Do we want Old Man Patterson here with his finger on the button?!

I'm still looking for the mother's day pink /50, and what better day to find it than today? 🙏 #cardsky

The worst part of starting a new video game is having to learn a new controller scheme. Is dodge X or O? Is combat R1 and R2 or square and triangle? How long is it gonna take until I unlearn the last game's mechanics?

Friendly reminder that John Brown was hanged for treason because he tried to free slaves. Whereas Robert E. Lee literally waged war against the United States so that he could continue owning black people as his property, and he was allowed to retire to a quiet dignified life with his family.

Nice to see that there is a Mocktail Option

Shameless plug for my wife's small business: Anyone in the greater Philadelphia/South Jersey area and looking to hire a bartender for an event you're holding? If so, they'll hook you up 👇 designerdrinksllc.com

Me: nobody should get wealthy off of child slave labor, and the people who became sacreligiously wealthy because their chosen industries use child slave labor are pure evil. Capitalists and capitalism enthusiasts: not true, they earned that money! 🤨

Maturing is understanding that Bane was right.

How many fucking free throws is Dallas gonna miss? Put the game away.

Ok but what if they DIDN'T put the closed captions on top of the score bug?

My wife worked last night, and my 11 y/o asked me to make her pasta for dinner before spending all night at her friend's house and not having dinner, so I planned to make it tonight. Today, 11 y/o asked if she could make pasta for lunch herself. Now she wants to know what dinner is.

Well yeah, the only thing that motivates the American government more than war for oil is discriminating against black people. It's not stunning if you've been paying attention

I get that the Tigers have dealt with a TON of injuries, but are we really back to pitching chaos and Zack Short starting baseball games? Super.

GET THAT BALL

I just wanted to take a moment to marvel at just how quickly the government can move when it wants to hurt black people.

Happy WNBA opening night! #cardsky

Me every time I see the news

As we enter this new period of austerity for everybody except rich people, friendly reminder that living in the wealthiest nation in world history means fuck all if all the wealth is concentrated at the top.

You and I and our children don't need to breathe, not when there's money to be made! Yay capitalism 😀

Honestly, I assumed that by the time I reached my 40s, eating poverty nachos as a snack would be a choice and a not a necessity 🤷‍♂️

Idk if this makes us weird, but my marriage is filled with all these fun little inside jokes and popular media references, and one we have a lot is that when the children are getting on our last nerve, we complain that these pretzels are making me thirsty. And brother, let me tell you what.

It's the first I bought myself, at least, and in fairness to me, I bought this BEFORE they sold out. Believe it or not, Sugar Ray used to fucking rock

Happy 10 year anniversary of Big Sexy's dinger! #cardsky

Just typing out loud, but I wonder what are the chances I can snag an autograph from Mattingly while he's local with the Phillies. I grew up watching Donnie Baseball, and his autograph is one notable absence from my Yankees pc.......

Terrified Adolis García Wondering If Anyone Else Can See Phillie Phanatic https://theonion.com/terrified-adolis-garcia-wondering-if-anyone-else-can-see-phillie-phanatic/

I'm not a religious man -- quite the opposite, actually -- but how many more plagues are gonna happen before the Christians start to see it as a sign from God like they do whenever earthquakes or wildfires happen in California?

Like I've been saying since at least college, the modern conservative movement is the South attempting to rise again. It sure explains why they keep flying Confederate flags and saying things like "the South will rise again."

Turns out capitalism's not so great for the working class folks who have to sacrifice their wellbeing in order for the ruling class to continue maintaining the lifestyle to which they're accustomed, but if they wanted luxuries like clean water, they shouldn't have been working class in America 🤷‍♂️

Happy birthday, Dick Williams 🎈 #cardsky

No, of course SCOTUS isn't political. It's just a coincidence that the majority-Republican justices decide every case in accordance with controlling Republican Party orthodoxy.

I remember being a young punk in the 90s and 00s, listening to bands warning us about deregulation and unrestrained capitalism and nazis and fascists and the military industrial complex and the prison industrial complex, and now it's like 25-30 years later and you'll never guess what happened.

It's like they're TRYING to recreate the conditions that existed immediately before the French Revolution.

Happy 10 years since the impossible happened

The thing is, we COULD try to slow climate change, but that would cost money that the capitalists would rather keep for themselves, so it's just easier to move entire cities than it is to make them stop destroying the environment for their own personal gain.

Lmao the U.S. Constitution isn't even anti-slavery NOW, wtf are these dumb fucks going on about

I think my emotional state since November of 2024 can be best described as gradually intensifying, high-functioning crashout.

But yes Ted Turner was kind of a lunatic but in the best sort of way. He’s all of us if we got stupid rich “fuck it Imma buy a baseball team! Maybe I’ll manage it for a while!”

Look, just because Alito happens to rule in accordance with controlling Republican party orthodoxy every single time, it doesn't mean he's a partisan hack. What next, you'll tell me that "originalism" and "textualism" are just nonsense they made up to give SCOTUS cover for ruling for Republicans?