You are right, I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand and hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike creature who gives battle to everything around him, even himself. - Dr. Zaius

Idk how else to say this so I'm just gonna say it I'm so tired of living on a planet that's ruled over by a race of psychotic apes

Idk why more people don't listen to me 🤷‍♂️ #tigers

Racism is extremely expensive. And one day ppl will understand what that means. I’m guessing today’s not that day. Happy Thursday good people!

AW JEEZ I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE PROTESTERS GET SHOT IN THE HEAD BY GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES GOSH THAT MUST BE AWFUL

Frankly, I'm a whole lot more concerned with the death cult filled with racist white people that bombed Iran in order to trigger the Second Coming and Armageddon. But that's just me.

What's a line delivery you'll never forget?

Holy fucking shit I'm so god damned tired of being held hostage by the dumbest motherfuckers on this stupid planet.

I know I've posted this card before, but I couldn't find it for the life of me, and now I found it! #cardsky Maybe a rebound season is coming? 🙏

If only ANYBODY had warned them ahead of time 😭

Capitalism drives competition and innovation, and that's why utility companies need the government to shut down a new technology to protect their profits, even if it means higher prices for ordinary Americans. Yay America! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Guess who just pitched for Team Italy behind Nola 👀

In terms of pure capitalistic greed, Elf 2 is a no brainer.

Does this include pics of the time he kick flipped a skateboard directly into his nards on live tv, or are we just talking new pictures?

Like, these dorks were complaining about how officers in their unit (not them, of course) were somehow tricked into violating someone's constitutional rights, and they tried soooo hard to frame it as something OTHER THAN a law enforcement training issue 🤣

"Pro-life"

Lol trust me, the historians know EXACTLY what America's "values" are.

Humanity could be entering its Star Trek era, but we're too busy letting mediocre men like Jim Cramer pretend like they're important on tv.

Oh sweet, I didn't realize I have mandatory active shooter training from 10-12 today. And that's when my day went from good to great!

He is all of us

Dynasty league trade offer: his Luis Garcia Jr (2B) for my Eugenio Suarez (3B)? Suarez is better, but Garcia is younger. My only 2B currently is Colt Keith, and I at least have Colson Montgomery (and Keith fwiw) at 3B for this year. 16 teams × 28 players = not a lot of available FA.

Zoo animals aren't the only ones who suffer from zoochosis, fwiw (I'm talking about me, I don't want to live on this fucking planet anymore)

I just can't believe that a political party that promised to inflict economic hardship on all of us if we elected them would follow through on that promised economic hardship once elected.

Maybe I'm just missing this discussion, but what happens if (when) Trump chickens out again and tries to turn tail and run, but Iran doesn't agree to any cessation of hostilities?

Me: I have a hearing that's going to start anytime between now and like 4:15, so my availability today is TBD Co-worker: Ok how does 1:00 sound for a call? Me:

Of course, if Ollie North had his way, we'd be having a very different conversation right now.

Up 92 cents per gallon and counting! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I was told that we'd be at war with Iran if I voted for Kamala. Turns out they were right 🤷‍♂️ Hope you're all enjoying getting everything you voted for! I'm so happy for all of you ☺️

They can't hear you, Lindsey.

Dumbest timeline.

Hey @jpesq.bsky.social did you see McGonigle homered *again* today?

𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝘁 $𝟯𝟬𝟬 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻' 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘁 and an empty spot in your baseball display case. Who ya takin'... the slugger coming off an epic season or the absolute legend? ⚾💵⚾ 𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗦: bit.ly/cal-ken-base... #CalRaleigh #KenGriffeyJr #Mariners #Seattle #Autographs #AutographedBaseballs

If you're scared of protesting or a general strike because you could lose your job, healthcare, and housing, or even go to jail, now you understand why the US has no universal healthcare or housing and no guaranteed parental leave, but DOES have the largest prison and police system on planet Earth.

Monday Miggy WBC bobblehead! #cardsky

Millenials and younger have every reason to be truly apoplectic about the world older people are leaving us. It’s so fucked up. White Boomers—the largest U.S. demographic—chose this for all of us because they’re selfish but they’ll have died out before their little bubble becomes uninhabitable.

Another meme I shamelessly stole from one of those other hellsites but they stole it without crediting the original creator so idk who to credit 🤷‍♂️

Idk if it'll happen with the Tigers, but maybe this card won't be a COMPLETE loss? #cardsky

I'm not terribly interested in experiencing the next couple weeks, so if somebody could please just skip us ahead to the start of baseball season so I can finally have a new distraction from *gestures broadly*

When I was in 6th grade, one of the kids in class asked our social studies teacher, "can you stop using big words like 'the United States of America?'" It probably explains a lot about how we got here as a country.

Happy birthday, Jim Rice 🎈 #cardsky

Christ what a Schwarbomb 👀

The good thing about being on-call this week is that there's one less hour that I have to be working! 💪

Pedro Martinez PowerDeck! #cardsky

🎵I hate every ruling class I see From bourgeoi-a to bourgeoisie🎵

You can't hug your children with nuclear arms!

Jace Jung is also quietly having a decent spring... #tigers

Yeah I know it's spring training and all, but Drew Anderson so far 👀 #tigers (3.1 IP 0 H 0 BB 4 K today; 0.00 ERA 0.72 WHIP this spring)

Btw guess who's in the booth this afternoon! #tigers

Meanwhile, wine fests are always like 75° on lush, green lawns, soooo....