Still getting news alerts about her. Ugh.

I bought trainers. Arriving tomorrow. BRIGHT RED ones. Gotta have snazzy colour trainers. If you are still buying me trainers please avoid red shades. Forest green, cyan, pink, and a deep purple were the other colours I considered before going radioactive red. Size 45. Cheers xoxo

I can't believe the tofu brand I've been trying to recall is called 'Tofoo' what an anti-climax.

I wrote out the post “I’m on Ocado, who recommended a better brand of tofu recently?” and I feel there may be someone else occupying my body at present somehow.

🤣

You can sing “Didier Deschamps” to the tune of the “di de da de daa” at the start of Whigfield’s ‘Saturday Night’ and it’s fun to do. I’m so happy “Zinedine Zidane” scans the same to keep the tradition alive.

My birthday is about 6 weeks (there’s a bank holiday for it) So if you all want to buy me a gift can I have some nice trainers? Size 45 / 11 UK Cheers

My trainers. The nice summer ones. Broken. :(

If you feel gutted England friends just think you’re £18,000 better off than someone who paid that to go to watch it live and be filmed cosplaying a crusader on tv like a proper Nigel. How embarrassing would that be? You’ve not wasted £18k and kept your dignity. You’re a winner. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #TheFootball

There better not be a fucking bank holiday on Monday because I booked it off as holidays

Can I just add to the record that I am not closely related to that woman in the Independent and nobody I am closely related too is that fucking gauche.

Has anyone done the “Shakira becomes fourth person to perform at 6 men’s world cups” joke yet? Free if you need it. #TheFootball

Every sunmer is a sexy bald guy summer since I decided to shave my head. The Grauniad can piss off.

Me, before this post: FIFA clearly want Argentina, so I guess I’ll support England 🤷‍♂️ Me, after this post: El que no salta es un ingles! 🇦🇷

Applied for a job with de Vere maybe 15 years ago (when I was desperate obvs) and they still email ‘opportunities’ most weeks. Two days in a row this week according to the Spam folder. Dickheads.

County are playing Roma soon 🤣 #TheFootball

So long Nina, you lasted longer than I thought you would. This paragraph sums up the early 2020s internet just perfectly 🤌 Full article: components.news/not-your-key...

What season were Iniesta, Messi and Neymar together at Barcelona? Why is the link to the Catalunya national football team purple, let’s read about that. Let’s read about the Palestine national team. Let’s read about the Mandatory Palestine team. Mandatory Palestine. The Treaty of Versailles.

Yo, Netflix: What if Black Mirror but not high on the smell of its own farts

I would subscribe to your streaming service if you make more episodes of ‘The Outer Limits’.

My favourite part of the McGregor debacle was when he put his hands up asking the other lad to stop hitting him and the other lad hit him anyway. Fuckin sucks when people ignore the word ‘no’ isn’t it Conor?

Accidentally saw some of the host regime puff shite around the world cup games. Is Ian Wright trying to con English people in to thinking USian baseball is less boring than proper baseball or even cricket? #TheFootball

In case you wondered there is a “too many” gyoza

According to ASDA, summer ends in 3 hours.

Just added a ticket to my Apple wallet and realised there’s some old ones to clean out at the bottom

Mispronounced ‘Gwent’ as “gwank” so if you’re looking for this summer’s hottest new insult then there you go

When Argentina win the soccer I can get free biscuits from Morrisons. I don’t understand the logic behind this.

I was watching some crowd scenes from the Mexico England game and spotted this the back of a geezer’s t shirt.

First home friendly of the new soccer season and someone’s booked MY new seat on the halfway line. Raging*.

Someone has just asked on a local pub messaging thing whether the altitude is still an issue if the football is at night time. 🥲

Fair play to the England fans, pay thousands for tickets and actually turn up to watch the soccer unlike all the tourists watching their little phone screens constantly. 👏🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #TheFootball

Well that’s my boring England 1-0 win prediction blown already. #TheFootball

Your three managers coming to talk to you about the TPS reports. (We’re putting new cover sheets on the TPS reports now)

Going to stupid office in stupid Wales for stupid work and can’t decide what stupid shirt to wear because of stupid weather. May be slightly grumpy about this.

Felt left out.

Coventry? England’s largest selection of people in dressing gowns and slippers just wandering around the supermarket. 😘

Going to extra time? No thanks. fuck_that_sky_high.gif #TheFootball

Everyone stop and watch this

I ate too much cheese. The amount was much lower than the last time I ate too much cheese. Does your cheese-eating capacity diminish as you age? Devastating news if true. #TheCheese

Had to deal with a Rhian (with a rh) and a Rhian (with an r and a silent h) this evening. More tricky than the time in work when there was a Louis (loo-ee) and a Louis (lou-is).

I promise you will not regret watching this video. I've been an MC Hammersmith fan since I saw him in Birmingham nearly 10 years ago. His talent is astonishing and it defies belief how well he handles the situation he found himself in.

incredible blog defector.com/would-you-ea...

Turn the light off to do a sleep and in the same second a helicopter moved in to earshot.

Chose the wrong game of soccer and it’s a boring second quarter zzzz #TheFootball

Congratulations to the UK on finally making a sensible decision about their Prime Minister.

Loads of snails out. Climate change has broken the snails. Bastard.

Can we not give USA the soccer again? The crowds seem to be made mostly of people who’ve paid through the nose to watch the game on their tiny phone screens and only make noise for the big countdown to kick off the first and third quarters or if a celeb goes up on the big screen. #TheFootball

Want to start using ‘Dirty Unionist Paedophile’ for that fella, but feels like I’m trying to do an LOL when really the whole thing sickens me. At least the bare-minimum of what qualifies as justice is happening and there wasn’t no bs get-out with a trial collapsing etc. #TheNews

Another PM resigned?