We're watching the last season of What We Do In The Shadows. At this stage, they're really leaning into Matt Berry's pronunciations for laughs more than anything else. I'm not complaining, by the way.

This looks like a press conference calling for any information the public might have about the whereabouts of a missing child, organised by parents that did the kidnapping themselves

Down like a dog has to be one of the worst ways you can get gunned.

I’ve been playing video games for nearly forty years and the High Halls gauntlet in Hollow Knight: Silksong is the first time where I’ve really felt that whoever made this particular segment was going through a bitter divorce at the time

RIP Robot Redford

I had a consultation at the dentist today. They were very helpful, informative, and above all else considerate. Which I suppose is better than sitting me down and saying listen pal, you have a mouth that looks like a poorly played round of Tetris.

Jesus Christ!

We're watching Final Destination: Bloodlines. If you're settling in for Halloween you could do a LOT worse than work through the whole series. There's a real goofy joy in seeing a household item fall onto another then another then BOOM, someone gets turned into babbyrags

We’re watching One Fine Day. Peak 90s Clooney, back when he couldn’t keep his fuckin eyes open. And indeed peak Michelle Pfeiffer, hotter than a $2 pistol. Batman & Catwoman, now that I think of it. Anyways LOOK AT THIS PHONE. What were the 6 buttons beside red & green even for?

If you have time, here's live daytime TV from the morning of 9/11. Absolutely fascinating to see the hosts react in real time to it all. They do their best to go ahead with light entertainment until the scale of the day just overwhelms the entire studio. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h1w...

The best part about Bertie Ahern not getting to be president is knowing that he would have FUCKING LOVED to get to be president.

Great British Bake Off is back. This is it, folks. It takes us past Halloween into mid-November, then the tree goes up and boom, it's Christmas, baby. Straight back into New Year, Easter, summer again and round it goes. Do that a few dozen times and booyah, that's your lot.

If you put your name forward for the Irish Presidency, the first question should be 'have you ever ran for any other political position?'. Local council, student union, anything at all. If you click 'no, just thought I'd go right to being PRESIDENT OF THE NATION', then

ReTurn machines should accept bottles or cans that don’t have the logo on them… I don’t mean give 15c for them, I mean just take the fucking things. Have it for free, what am I going to do with it? Your business is recycling and you don’t want free product… that’s baffling to me.

PSA:

We're watching The Thursday Murder Club. I say old pip. Good heavens it's frightfully British. There's quite a lot of scrumptious cakes. Every line of dialogue could have been written by Enid Blyton, what-what crumpets meadows smugglers the Falklands old chap

I remember the day my son was born. And tomorrow, he starts his last year of primary school. Almost twelve years between the two days. And let me tell you, I felt every fucking minute if it

Don’t want to buffet shame but a lad across from us didn’t eat any dinner at all, he just kept going to the 99 machine and getting 99s, and he wouldn’t eat the cone he’d just smush it on his plate like a cigarette butt then go up and get another one

Eats one Lindor: I am a sophisticated chocolate enjoyer who appreciates flavours and textures Eats a second Lindor:

“You have to pick your battles” Buddy I pick a fresh one every day

Love watching football fans lose their minds during transfer season. If we miss out on Fandango we should get McClintock or Barnabas. Horsebox is out, but there’s a chance we’ll get Onyx Redmo if we move quick. Fintan Cycles won’t move for less than £50m. No Kaff? Season’s over

Making potato pancakes doesn’t burn many calories. But you should give it a go, even if it is just a boxty’ing exercise

That heat. It’s like being in a damn slow cooker. I’m falling off the bone here.

I once priced a solid fuel stove for a member of the Guildford Four

I'll tell you one thing I can't abide in movies. The notion that if a character has cancer or some other illness, they can go ahead and sacrifice themselves to save everyone else. And you don't have to feel bad because they were dying anyway. Absolute dogshit storytelling.

Gardai: We are appealing to anyone with information to come forward. Local head-the-ball: Why you couldn't possibly me ME, a local CHARACTER, surely one as eccentric as I could not have had anything to do with this! Irish Media: Let's interview that guy

Don't worry about your kids going through a death metal phase. Worry about your kids going through a Black Eyed Peas phase.

Every venue is an axe-throwing venue if you have an axe and nothing to lose

If it’s one thing we do here in Ireland, it’s look out a window and mistake ‘brightness’ for ‘warmth’

This poster is amazing if you read it in the tone of a stressed Irish Da. Fuck this! We were safer in space!

Would you lookit.

When I was small my Mam wouldn’t buy Kellogg’s Variety, the 8-packs of little cereal boxes, no matter how much I begged. Other than that, top marks, no complaints #happymothersday

"This is the last thing I'll say on the subject" I sincerely doubt it, hi

Unpopular opinion but the snug is the worst place in a pub. Everyone hates you if you have the snug. All eyes are on you. Plus it’s like drinking in a wardrobe. The fuckin walls do be closing in on you. I can’t breathe in a snug. Absolute zero craic pinting

There should be an entirely separate A&E department just for cunts

I think it's mad that we all have dreams where we can fly, but nobody seems to fly the same way. Some just soar on command like Superman, some flap their arms like birds, some (like me) just kinda jump and... don't land. if you've had a dream where you can fly, how do you do it?

“You ever hear that poem about the two headed calf? Well this is gonna blow that out of the water…”

Once again, this just doesn’t seem very presidential to me. Just not a presidentey thing to do if you ask me

Someday I'll learn what a track rod end is, and why they seem to be made out of glass and spiderwebs.

Cracked and looked up the proper lyrics to Here Comes The Hotstepper. In 30 years, I didn’t get a single line right.

Imagine if gypsum was rarer than it is. America would have invaded Kingscourt decades ago

If you ever saw those gel insoles in the pharmacy and thought oh they might be nice in m’shoes then let me tell you one thing: STOP. Do not buy them. It’s like walking on eyes.

All it takes is spotting one thing on Facebook Marketplace that ‘might look nice in that corner’ to completely upend an entire weekend

I have my weight managed to about an 8lb +/- window, anything at the lower end of that is very hard to maintain, anything in the middle is spot on, and anything above the upper end of it is when I start to look a bit sandwichy

Me asking my 11-year old son if he finds something funny about the title of the movie Mickey 17

I have a degree of sympathy for this man. I can’t imagine the house he grew up in. With that said, if he were wandering uninvited into the school building where my children were, I would give him a feed of his teeth

You could make a new Raiders Of The Lost Ark set in the 80s, without Indiana Jones. The Ark is still in that warehouse (Area 51?) and someone in the 80s might want it for something so a new archaeology hero has to protect it/ get it out of there. Take this computer away from me

Dads, if you’re dropping your kids at school for World Book Day and they say hey look, there’s someone dressed as Where’s Wally… you know what you have to do.

You can take this Tuesday and shrove it