6:30 AM: The dainty pitter-patters of adorable footsteps cross back and forth over my head, rousing me from my slumber. The sweet sound of youth. Is there any greater sound to wake up to? I think not. medium.com/frazzled/a-d...

Obviously, if you have kids, they will for several years be ages 13 to 15...if you find yourself spending an excessive amount of time with them and their friends, say a whole afternoon or even a vacation, you should know the risks. By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/sid...

John: Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I don’t quite know how to say this, but I’m here because I’m happy. You see, last August, my wife and I made the most difficult decision of our lives. By @robplotkinwrites.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/the...

Thank you for seeing me, Ms. Murchison. I wanted to discuss my son’s award, or lack thereof, at the science fair. I understand you have concerns. medium.com/frazzled/yes...

And so last week, just two days before the finish line of Christmas break, when my kid hit me with — “Mom, do I have black dress shoes?” “No, but you can borrow mine. What do you need them for?” “I’m in this winter concert thing?” medium.com/frazzled/the...

You may be ready to jump for joy that Christmas is over and you somehow managed to survive, but don’t get too excited just yet. medium.com/frazzled/ide...

Remember last Christmas when I told you there was no Santa, and that me and your dad were the ones giving you presents? I lied. By @robplotkinwrites.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/i-k...

She awoke and caught me standing over her with my hand under her pillow. It startled me at first, and I gasped. “Mama?” medium.com/frazzled/the...

Hey Mister Claws, Sorry for the second note, but Mom was over my shoulder when I was writing my first letter, so I couldn’t really get all my thoughts out. medium.com/frazzled/dea...

Season’s greetings! I see you have a small child in your company, and if there’s one thing I know about kids, it’s that they don’t ingest enough sugar during the holidays. Allow me to remedy that. medium.com/frazzled/for...

My (hopefully not-too-navel-gazey) piece on what I learned in writing humor and fiction this year. + a list of my favorite publications on Medium, including @frazzledhumor.bsky.social , Rooted, Sharing Food, and Jane Austen's Wastebasket. medium.com/@robplotkinw...

What is a toddler exactly? According to Merriam-Webster, toddlers are people who toddle. They’re young children between one and three years old. Merriam-Webster needs a better definition. By @hayleydiepwrites.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/whi...

“Danny hitted me all day.” Danny bumped into Carter once in line. Even said, “Excuse me.” medium.com/frazzled/you...

Dear Santa, I’m pleased to finally have the opportunity to create my own Christmas wish list. This is my first Christmas after all. By @robplotkinwrites.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/as-...

It’s that time of the year again when I’m placed on a kitchen counter, atop a toy reindeer, or precariously balanced over a toilet bowl in some sort of “shaving cream gone awry” scene. By @julievickwriter.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/im-...

It’s time to try defying cavities. (See what I did there, lol)

Dear Apple, I just unpacked my son’s lunch and found you again. I can’t put into words how relieved I am to see you. By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/an-...

Oh my gosh, you guys, I’ve been having the best holiday season so far. I’m just a humble little toddler mom, but everyone in our world has been so nice! medium.com/frazzled/peo...

This year, your children will get fewer presents because we’re all struggling with the economy. medium.com/frazzled/how...

1. BAAAAAAAAAAAAH-buddah-BOP-buddahh-BAAAAAAAAAAAH. 2. WUGGawuggawuggawuggaWUGG: “UNGH!” By @15thcgossipgirl.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/ope...

My latest bit of short humor, this time for @frazzledhumor.bsky.social—can you guess the song from the opening notes? medium.com/frazzled/ope...

First off, Pokémon is dead to me. Have you guys heard about Minecraft? By @gailgauthier.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/in-...

My #Christmas #humor published today at @frazzledhumor.bsky.social I had planned to write something profound about my family's wishlists & within 24 hours it had turned into this. medium.com/frazzled/in-...

Darren McDougall is many things: husband, son, father, IT programmer. Today, the dad of two from Peoria, IL, adds another title to his list — world record holder. medium.com/frazzled/fat...

You guys, last week my mom was like — “Everything is more expensive this year, so we have to keep cost in mind when you’re making your Christmas lists.” medium.com/frazzled/why...

You’re ready to hyper-monitor, micromanage, and put the Baby Gym teacher on notice. One final exam stands between you and full Helicopter Parenting Licensure. medium.com/frazzled/the...

Today’s my first-ever parent-teacher meeting! I’ve been dreaming of this day ever since my 4-year-old joined a proper school. medium.com/frazzled/big...

clingy@13: Mom, what’s for dinner? soupmom: Soup. Cstudent: Just soup? soupmom: Yes. medium.com/frazzled/my-...

It’s great you’re here! But this visit can’t begin without confirming the details of your next visit. By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/im-...

She’s bedecked in heart-dotted overalls, with her hair tied in two adorably lopsided pigtails. She looks so sweet and innocent, even I think that. medium.com/frazzled/my-...

And other philosophical questions for parents of teenagers to ponder medium.com/frazzled/why...

Loved this. And I’m not that big a fan of the Pilgrims.

November 28th, 1621: This evening we did sup at the long table with our friends, the Wampanoag. Everyone was merry and full of cheer. Except me. By @richiezabo.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/an-...

I’m known as the cool mom. Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Like, would a real cool mom call herself a cool mom? But it’s true. By @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/my-...

Alright, son, check out this Nintendo game, Vampire Manor. This was my favorite when I was your age. By @richiezabo.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/pla...

The bag. Buy a second diaper bag to use exclusively as a bug-out bag for the next climate emergency you need to escape. We recommend The Baby Bag diaper bag by caraa ($390). medium.com/frazzled/bug...

Soccer practices for elementary-aged kids can be a blast if you’re interested in capturing a snapshot of a very specific demographic. medium.com/frazzled/you...

I gave in to the beauty industry long ago. Call me a quitter, but they can have my kids’ skin for all I care. medium.com/frazzled/how...

It’s 5 o’clock on a damp Friday afternoon in the south of England. The rain has cleared, but the October sky is still grey, and the surface of the motorway is wet. medium.com/frazzled/nev...

Are you tired of sending your child to a fancy school only to get shrugs at the end of the school day when you inquire about how it went? medium.com/frazzled/10-...

My kids hate this one so much which weirdly pleases me!

In a desperate attempt to feel relevant, which I justify as a way to connect with my kids, I finally ask them to explain their slang. By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/wha...

I’m now convinced that second children are manufactured from the depths of Hell. medium.com/frazzled/was...

Hey everyone, thanks for coming out tonight! I know it’s late for some of you. What is it, almost six o’clock? Maybe seven o’clock? Six-seven! By @richiezabo.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/6-7...

Of course, I want to hang out with you. And your repeated suggestion that we watch a movie together does not make me want to lock myself in my bedroom. By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/wha...

It was the kind of day you’d happily add to your cart: sunny blue skies with just a whisper of autumn breeze. The catch? Keeping up with two forces of nature called “grandchildren.” medium.com/frazzled/rid...

This was supposed to be my year — my time to shine! My kid is finally old enough to really Trick-or-Treat, but still young enough that we can (and should!) greatly restrict her candy consumption. medium.com/frazzled/my-...

I gave in to my sarcastic sense of humor and started mocking one of my sons’ friends. Somehow, they learned an actual life lesson from it. medium.com/frazzled/i-a...

New satire piece is live! And it’s about chicken nuggets.

Are you aware of a certain segment of the population who are classically trained in animal identification with a strong working knowledge of oceanography? I live with two of them. They are called “toddlers.” By @mikemiccoli.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/an-...