There are two types of middle-aged people: The ones who point out the assholes who drive like maniacs and end up at the same red light anyway and the ones who don’t drive.

I sense Sticky Nicki before I even see her. She stumbles like a bear that’s caught their head in the honey pot. By @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/my-...

My niece is taking driving lessons and my 10yo with an air of authority declared driving is easy you just push the pedal and call everyone “idiot”.

Note to parents: Asking your teen to check if a package arrived does not imply they should also bring it inside. I know this now.

I bet my daughter a quarter that she couldn’t get ready in under five minutes. She won, but I won more.

My kid loves unnecessary abbreviations which is how she ended up telling our neighbour she spent the afternoon jumping on our new tramp.

The last time my daughter played at Tyler’s house his mom fed them iced tea and candy. My daughter returned amped up like she’d chased a bottle of Adderall with a case of Prime energy drink. By @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/my-...

I wanted to put my husband’s birthday presents where he wouldn’t see them so I placed them on the stairs.

Introvert: I’ll send you a screenshot on how to do it. Extrovert: Let’s hop on a call.

"I brace myself, slide my greasy pizza finger along the screen, and answer the call. A small voice belonging to my nine-year-old daughter is on the other end of my tentative hello." By @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/mom...

Last night I didn’t eat chips before bed and I had a terrible sleep so I think we all know what this means.

Therapist: have you tried meditation? Me: sure, sometimes when the kids scream my mind goes blank and I float above my body Therapist: that’s dissociation Me: potato, potato

Are you even a mom if you don’t respond, “Thanks, I showered” in response to a compliment about your hair?

My teen forgot his lunch so I asked if there’s anything he needs to remember to bring to school today and he responded “a positive mindset”. I’m dead.

We're a bit late, but here is the most-read piece on Frazzled in 2024 by @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social! medium.com/frazzled/my-...

“New year, new me” I whisper to myself as I reach for a bottle of tequila instead of wine.

#5 by @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/birth-contro...

All I want for the holidays is alone time but surrounded by family, good food that won’t hurt my stomach, late night fun but early to sleep, a white Christmas that’s also warm, and the gift of mortgage forgiveness. Is that too much to ask?

Me: I might buy a SAD lamp 9yo: why don’t you want a happy one?

It’s so important that us moms carrying the invisible load take time to declutter our homes and our minds. By @ihidefrommykids.bsky.social medium.com/frazzled/mom...

When my 9yo yells, “I don’t understand my math!” And from the kitchen I yell, “Read it out to me!” And the math’s like: If Joaquin and Saorise split ceviche—

One day I’m going to write a story about a mom who confesses to a murder each and every night while calling her family for dinner but gets away with it because nobody ever pays attention to her calls.

I found myself sitting beside the doctor who delivered me 42 years ago so I asked “do you remember me?” and he looked at me and deadpanned “it’s hard to tell when you’re wearing clothes”.

My kids and I play this fun game where I wake up early to enjoy a coffee alone and they wake up earlier to make sure that I don’t.

I've been texting with "Isla's mom" for 3 years. When is a good time to ask her her name?