I have been given occasion today to consider how this one particular comic has shaped my sense of humor

I think our biggest failure as a species is that venturing out of your lane doesn't cause physical agony

You know I love gorillas and hate exercise. But I've been having a think

Phil better not be caught lackin in these streets

Just a quick reminder that if your boss is seriously looking into problems like "missing snacks" or "petty cash discrepancy" or "improper use of time clock" you are working a bullshit ass job and should just quit right now. That entire place won't be there in 5 years

In light of Amy klobuchar being absolute dogshit I will admit this: I am a working class American and I am willing to put up with some truly awful coffee. Coffee ain't the problem here stupid @amyklobuchar.com

oh word

He can and will, if I have anything to say about it

Extremely funny that Elon Musk begged to go to Epstein's island but Epstein didn't think he was cool enough

Wait....

coked up phil collins was so much fun

I got a fat ass

We are so upset about this that we're gonna watch it, on the teevee

They're named after their founder, Phineas Skecher

BREAKING: Judge dismisses murder, weapons charges against alleged UnitedHealth CEO killer Mangione reut.rs/45Fin56

All of Terry Chambers's work in XTC was great but Black Sea is especially wild. Every beat he comes up with is so creative

Just watched the Knight of Seven Kingdoms pilot episode...we're back. And by "we" I mean Oafs

There are so many for me but every time I look back at them, I realize that the signs were always there and I was fine with them until suddenly I wasnt. I'm the problem. I tolerated too much horseshit That being said, I don't know if anyone saw the Morrissey heel turn coming

Stop honking at me I just gotta post this dumb bullshit real quick

Everyone is so mad about this. it's hilarious. Maybe he didn't get his little award because he's a very weird man

Had a dream about a farm guy with a tattoo of a tractor and underneath it in big green letters it said TRACTER

Just saw Sinners and I liked it. I didn't love it, but I liked it a lot. It's pretty good! Sometimes it's just doing a little too much but I still had fun.

I understand that there are probably bigger things for me to be concerned about today, but we are not letting Kanye have a comeback just because he finally decided to take his meds. I'm not going to start streaming your shit just because you said sorry in the WSJ. The last several years did happen

He's going to fuck that thing

I've never seen The Office. The glow of blessed ignorance that washes over my face when people try to quote it to me is the joy of my life. The Renaissance masters could only approximate my beatific witlessness

Replace every member of the news media with a 24 hour channel that just has a funny little graphic saying Shut Up Bitch

Sure, Trump looks like hell and smells bad and has lost all his friends and the vultures are circling, but at least his voice sounds like shit 👍

Guys, guys! You're not going to believe this but Republican lawmakers are logically inconsistent. You heard it here first

Every commercial on TV now is a montage of people doing normal things and then the name of either a gambling website or a drug that makes your asshole bleed

if i catch you in the streets i’m waving at your stupid ass

Spoiler alert: It's the "deny any" that's implied at the end of all access lists. Jesus Christ why is everything so stupid now

He's going to declare it an insurrection no matter what you do. Why not make it count for something

Amazing things are afoot on the Blue Sky Social Media Website

Snapping a QR code so you can order what type of ass beating they give you

FUCK YES

we HAVE to win the MIDTERMS so a DEMOCRAT MAJORITY can attatch a NON-BINDING RESOLUTION asking the GESTAPO not to wear MASKS to the OMNIBUS BILL that increases their FUNDING again

I can't tell you how funny it is that Scott Adams truly believed Trump had the cure for cancer and begged him for it, and also that Trump, who also believes he has the cure for cancer, simply left him on read

rest in piss scott adams. Set sail for dick!

IQ rules. You can be so bereft of wit that you ruin every conversation you're in but you can still join MENSA

I know the thing I'm supposed to take away from this quote is you know, 'holy shit what a fascist.' But I'm sorry I can't help but focus on how hilariously deluded a thing this is to believe. You're just going to get rid of the entire concept of Crime by being brutal for a while? Really?

plain and simple: if you work for ICE, you should kill yourself

This is the agent that murdered the woman in Minneapolis on 1/7/2026.

"Holy shit you're really good at this" is probably one of the best compliments you can ever give someone. It feels way better than being complimented on your looks or your intelligence or some other kind of trait. Getting praise for something you DID is sick as fuck man

Everything is just so ass now that the surveillance state doesn't want us to smile in our ID photos anymore

When he's right he's right folks

721,000 cops in the US, with zero oversight or accountability, is far more frightening to me than the PLA.

Good choice, socialism is as unpopular as it has ever been