It’s wild that “Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” isn’t even in my Top 5 songs that make fun of a speech impediment

I love this man more than words can say. Wish him a happy birthday today, would ya?

the best grilled cheese is a meunster cheese one

[Sade voice 🎵]

I don’t know about anybody else, but I have seen James Corden stomping around in the background of the red carpet like the cunt he is.

Who else will be fighting for the big TV when the great Conan Monologue v. AEW showdown begins?

It’s not enough tuna. Thats the mistake!

Not me looking for Harry Styles tix at MSG after that performance on SNL last night. Couldn’t be me. No. Not at all.

Low key. High key. 😂

micellar water is amazing stuff. absolute game changer.

I watched some smart mouth ask a very obvious gangster if he was investment banker because of his Polo vest. Paulie Walnuts hair. Gangster said “no, just well dressed” and I said, “no, he’s a sartorialist” and the gangster pointed at me. We were at a small local Italian market. This shit happens.

Ironworkers Local 1 in Chicago has an autistic kid at the front of their group at the Chicago SPD and dude is straight CHUCKING green beads at spectators. I love him.

Gonna murder a whore named Ann tomorrow. Ann Arbor.

fuck me you guys come on

I can’t believe I have to hyperventilate for the next 7 3/4 minutes of basketball.

Chicago wind gauge

Kinda need Wisco to push a liiiiiiitle harder right now.

this is one of my favorite things on the planet and i will watch it every time it pops up

The hits jus keep on coming

it’s fucking snowing right now

I’d like to go back to bed. Can anyone make that happen for me? No? Okay.

I’ve seent a troll turn prince turnt backt troll. It’s a wild, rarely seent arc.

We used to have head shops that weren’t just repositories for kratom.

My BD hoodie fit today. Jah bless.

I can’t believe my car says that it is 89° when I still have the blizzard tarp in the trunk of my car from two weeks ago.

Me? I’m learning how to write an attorney’s certification on the fly. 🤷‍♀️

I cannot wait until Rutgers is out of session and I can fly home through New Brunswick. That’s gonna be sweet. Two months.

If you aren’t gonna call me properly, just don’t call me at all.

Do you have rough and dry, cracked heels? Wipe some glycolic acid on your feet, put some lotion and socks on, wait an hour, come and thank me.

Country Joe passed away.

I gotta go to the dispo. Anyone need anything?

roasting v. bullying

Damon Albarn 🥰

When one is on the interstate and they come across the sign for Whitestown in one direction, Brownsburg in the other. Indiana.

Does the wifi check out in Whitestown, Indiana?

::whispering:: go devils

I went out to run some errands and came back with…skin care products? Who the fuck am I even?

Thank you, Sethinitus Rax.

Oh shit! Happy Birthday to @gsarafan.bsky.social!

You guys, I have a problem and I need your input. @msdarthmikeshair.bsky.social told me to my face (over the phone) on Wednesday that I’m mean. So, am I mean or is he mean for telling me I’m mean when I’m not. We need polls.

I wonder what show Mr. Nasty was listening to.

The Gimp is DEAD

Forever My President

Ya know, they didn’t call it WW1 or WW2 when they were just starting. Just sayin…