Americans: we live in a fallen state—embroiled by sin, cheating, lying, and evil. You cannot trust anyone, not even those who claim to know you best Canadians: I love my neighbors and my friends!

Wake up, motherfuckers.

I would like to bring attention to the fact that the Philadelphia Phillies exist within the Alien universe. Thank you for your attention on this matter. #ringthebell

As a Battlefield guy, I am incredibly sweaty over tactical limp bizkit.

I was in the studio for this. We thought it was insane back then, but it all syncs in 2025.

Walked outside and saw my kids drinking out of the garden hose and now I’m scared that they’re going to grow up to be the worst kind of poster.

@jeffgerstmann.com been listening to the latest ep & I know it’s your job and you’ve been doing this for an exorbitant amount of time, but holy shit your analysis of what was likely to come from the layoffs was laser guided.

My favorite basic bitch @ninakharoufeh.bsky.social has joined this website 😍 Everyone should follow her if you enjoy the worst takes!

NARENDRA, STOP!

It's cool, and feels amazing, to realize that we're going to have a recession because the president thinks that kids have too many dolls now. It's obviously very stupid, but feeling like you should/do have the right to discipline other people's kids is also a core conservative value.

The people within the c suite rarely have any idea what they’re doing. Many fail upward in corporate America. Here’s further evidence of their incompetence.

After today, all reading glasses will be worn at half mast.

Slipped back into a Twitter hole during the superbowl but now that it’s back to being a garbage heap that doesn’t work, I’m back to the bluesky grind. Feels good.

A defiant Mayor Eric Adams, standing in front of a dozen elderly members of the clergy, gives a speech to the assembled media in which it gradually becomes clear that he believes all of the events that happen in Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats "really happened, right here in New York."

I was so close. #flyeaglesfly

We must win. It is that simple. #flyeaglesfly

SUPERBOWL. KINGS OF THE EAST. WITNESS US. #flyeaglesfly

Saquon could put up 70 points today. LFG BIRDS.

JURGENS IN. #flyeaglesfly

GREASE THE POLES. LFG #flyeaglesfly

Once Elon burns whatever good will he has with his almond brain MAGA thralls, he’s going full Nazi.

It is amazing how well this has worked out so far, by the numbers and also just in terms of what you see at the river crossings and in midtown. No greater proof of how cowed/dorky/incompetent New York Democrats are that none of them can even find it in themselves to take any credit for it.

Bet your ass I’ll be somewhere around the globe for Nails, pal.

Helpful!

ONWARD (to the emergency room). GO BIRDS. #flyeaglesfly

I will suffer through this whole game. Go Birds.

These bans are out of control.

I have reached the age where people I went to school with are sharing boomer right wing conspiracy theories on facebook about how the wildfires were planned so that a smart city in Los Angeles could be built. My youth is over and gone.

Damn, David Lynch. My old man sat me down to watch Dune when I was a child. Had nightmares of heart plugs & an uncomfortably smooth Sting for years. Rest in peace to a true madman.

Worth noting that not only is that dipshit unqualified for one of the largest bureaucracies on planet earth, but the alcoholism and infidelity are symptoms for security concerns. Not great if your secdef can get rolled by an espresso martini.

Since Marvel has no presence on this platform, is is beholden to us to perform our civic duty.

the shoplifting tantrum was a press operation to make older white americans terrified via breathless media reporting in order to achieve electoral goals. with those goals achieved, they're winding it down. this entire shoplifting panic has been a social experiment, thank you for your participation

Ready for a full afternoon of this. Go Birds. #flyeaglesfly

From Fetterman and RFK to Ana Kasparian. The lurch to the right for personal gain will be commonplace in the coming years. Gotta get in on the grift while the gettin’s good.

Open war with Denmark is very much a prologue to a yet unwritten shitty Scott Adams novel about the need for masculine leadership. Looking forward to 2025, baby

IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE GATE IS DOING FOR OUR QUARTERLIES FOR FISCAL 2025

My body isn’t a temple, it’s a haunted Antarctic research station

Hey, man. Thanks for the follows. Hope you all have a killer new year.

PAYBACK. GO BIRDS. FUCK DALLAS. #flyeaglesfly

Without downloading any new pics, what’s your energy going into 2025

TNT is running a livestream of Hangman Adam Page drinking whiskey in front of Swerve’s burning house on a loop for Christmas. 😙👌🏼

“You’ll be visited by three spirits.” The three spirits:

Is this good

Hello, my old friend. #eagles