Hahahahahahhaahh fucking hell Coleman

Jammy bastard

Arf

Well played Jimmy Garner

Interesting experiment of Everton putting valium in the half time oranges

I'm sorry, what? In writing my first monograph, I spent six weeks trying to track down a citation in TWO languages I didn't know. And good thing too, because the citation was wrong. That's scholarship. That's research. You know, the thing we're trained to do?!?

In fairness, Rohl did well to generate that amount of power while wearing flip flops

Merlin"s wand of a left foot or something

SHAFT!

Tinkerbelsen

The pictures in the bathroom of this weekend's Airbnb take a sinister turn

I loved this then and I love it now. Can't think of any finer television acting

In the car with Mrs H and this comes on. She started out with "the fuck is this?" Ended up joining on and declaring it's her new Karaoke standby IYKYK @tonycampari.bsky.social

Ah crumbs, I knew this was coming and it still hurts: David Burke has left us.

An asteroid will skim past Earth next week, missing us by just 90,000km - that's about a quarter of the distance from us to the Moon. “In astronomical terms, it’s as close as you can get without hitting,” says Mark Norris at the University of Lancashire, UK. www.newscientist.com/article/2526...

That VAr and ref audio from the West Ham Everton game is equally hilarious and a damning indictment of the people involved. What happened? Dunno. Guess? Goal kick? Goal kick it is

Blending in

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Well at least we can all agree that drums, megaphones, goal music and announcer bantz are all that's wrong with modern football

Cheating cunt

I think I've read the script for this match before

And again

Too early 👀

Man, it's a tough life

I am absolutely all in favour of folk expressing themselves but what is it about white people with dreadlocks?

Every few weeks, I sneak a 44 lb bag of dog food through the self check out at the supermarket. Have been doing this for months. My dogs are anti-corporation anarchists so I really have no other option.

I feel seen

Tell me where is more beautiful than West Scotland when the sun shines and the midgies are still asleep

Morning puff through the village

Napoleon, 1812

Here’s this week’s cartoon for @sport.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/football/pic...

A former pupil of mine is standing as a Reform candidate in the Holyrood elections. The wee nyaff claims to "be involved in politics and academia". He's a 1st year undergrad in a former poly after scraping in on clearance.

I’m sorry, but everyone now knows exactly what Reform stands for, so if you vote for them, you’re a nasty racist with no respect for other humans. No ‘I didn’t know’ or ‘the other parties have let me down’ excuses now. Shame on them and shame on you.

When she looks at you like that

Man U looking great here

catfishing.net #679 - 6/10 🐟🐟🐈🐈🐈 🐟🐈🐈🐟🐈

Slightly diminish a book. The Tabby who Came to Tea

Can't believe none of these top 15 TV shows include The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984-1994). Bunch of Philistines

A shaky grasp of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow

Where was Magna Carta signed? Near the bottom.

I call bullshit. A pro would nestle the pickled onion on a pickled onion monster munch. As to the partisan cheese I can take it or leave it.

Delores says happy Friday

Strands #788 “Wet blankets” 🔵🔵🟡🔵 🔵🔵🔵

Connections Puzzle #1054 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦

Ovo are so shite

When the working day is done...

I never take a lunch break (that's not a brag, it's a regretful confession) - in 4 years in my current job I've not once left the building for a break mid day. Today I'm making an exception and it's mad how I need to push down the non-sensical guilt

Oh I really hope this is true

GNU Terry Pratchett, whose words will echo long after we, and our children, and our children’s children have moved on thank you, as always, for making me a better person (quote from Reaper Man)

Every team that's played Sheffield Wed this season