Here’s Clive outing himself as an idiot. Every study, and even the few times it’s been implemented, have shown this to be a stupid idea. Concentrate on where the real danger comes from Clive. Hint: it’s not cyclists, even selfish ones

One thing in common for the streets chosen by the Telegraph as Britain’s prettiest - almost no cars. there are a few parked up in the two seaside choices, but streets look better without them and they’re way more user friendly for people to live their lives and spend money

How Telegraph headlines lie…in fact having grossly underestimated the rebuild costs (as they guessed them during the purchase), they finally shopped around and managed to get insurance for under £1,500 per year. Absolute non-story

While I’m in favour of celebrities pushing forward environmental protection, it’s difficult to see bird shooting and fox hunting Charles Windsor as anything other than a bit of a hypocrite

An #FACup weekend without VAR really shows how much better football is without it - especially for fans in the grounds. Most decisions are correct and the game flows. Goal celebrations don’t need to be paused; emotions can be allowed to be free. Time to scrap #VAR

I’m still buzzing and it’s two days later! We are all Gentleman Jim “pick that out”

I had to go up to the grit bin this morning and create myself some tyre tracks to make it to the #FULLIV game. Let’s hope the @fulhamfc.com players show the same commitment #COYW

Good old Daily Telegraph spreading (financial) fear with a scenario that actually only affects <1% of households

"I don't know why they've done it – you don't really see anyone on bikes around here, it's not like a city centre” It’s amazing to me that people can say phrases like the above without suddenly understanding “Oh, that’s why they’ve put in a protected bike lane, so people can cycle safely”

In the hard copy of this article, the author claims the fact 29% of the councillors sharing two names (actually three but two are Choudhury and Chowdhury) suggests a lack of diversity 1/

VAR ruining the Premier League and kids’ kickabouts!

"it's always the fault of the migrants. Except when it isn't." Colin from Portsmouth thinks we should blame immigrants for things before they even happen.

Ignore King Kenny; surely that’s got to be a Halloween costume or stag-do wind up in the background? #FFCWOL

I’m not sure saying you don’t know anything about the sport you’re objecting to is a particularly skilful argument

For those #FFC fans eschewing the X these days, @jackandloz.bsky.social have written a blog on Wycombe vs Fulham and it’s très bien werdsmith.com/p/fPW9EfhuG4...

Anniversary alert - according to legend* the Luton player needed an operation on his foot after this challenge on Mitro in 2019 #FFC *Note: I made up the legend

Update for @martinlewis.moneysavingexpert.com on how DWP are getting on calling people with regards to voluntary NI contributions. I don’t think they did ever call me in May, but they’ve finally got round to me (again maybe) in late Oct!

Some lunchtime listening for #FFC fans. From about 10:35 the Great Football Songbook features music and chants synonymous with @fulhamfc.com and @simonduke.bsky.social from @fulhamsupptrust.bsky.social www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Really interesting comments as to how police could 'view hours of footage' without viewing hours of footage

Farage hits back: ‘Deport women & kids? Pfft. I’ll tow Britain 200 miles into the Atlantic, give every family a dinghy with a Union Jack, & bring back trebuchets for humane long-distance removals.’

"I painted a St George's Cross on a roundabout. What have YOU done for this country?"

I don’t write as well as Russ so I’m happy to co-opt his words.

I wonder if the answer is to add a little compassion to each flag with a sharpie

Danish activists have been painting their flag on roundabouts. Either that or British 'patriots' are a bunch of thick twats, which I find hard to believe.

At a guess, the Afghan refugees stuck in hotels waiting to have their acts of bravery for British soldiers honoured will have done immeasurably more for this country than the shits spray painting roundabouts with a can of wrong colour paint they probably stole from Halfords.

1/ Charlotte Gill in the Daily Telegraph claims are £2K pay rise can cost £28K if you earn £99,000. Sounds dramatic. Reality? It relies on some very big assumptions that barely apply to anyone in real life. 🧵

Strange to see Telegraph writer Charlotte Gifford call people who help HMRC collect the right tax “snitches.” Even her own sources — an accountant and an HMRC spokesman — stress how valuable whistleblower information is. After all, tax funds the services society relies on.

So the Telegraph give up writing and ask AI to make up rude comments about EPL 25-26 kits including #FFC. Rather than asking ChatGPT, they’d have been better to ask paying fans as it looks like this one will fly off the shelves (it’s only Gentleman Jim who I’ve heard rubbish it).

The comments below this article lament that GP waiting rooms aren’t full of coughing patients anymore — a complaint I just can’t fathom. If a phone or video call does the job, great. And if I do need to go in, I’d rather not be surrounded by people with potentially contagious illnesses.

Completely disingenuous article in today’s Telegraph Money arguing many second homes aren’t suitable for first-time buyers, so a policy of increased council tax for second homes should be reversed. The article: 1/

So Volvo’s latest ad shows the car assisting the driver in so many ways, but doesn’t have the tech to lock the doors to stop the passenger (almost) dooring a passing cyclist. Time for those lower in the hierarchy to implement safety measures to protect people outside their big, heavy vehicles

Channel 4’s Dispatches investigation helps billionaire find missing moral compass.

Fascinating how the Telegraph paints a romantic picture of a white woman living in laybys and industrial estates—no council tax, no utility bills. Hard to imagine they’d be so sympathetic if she were black, Roma, or a bit more new age. Who gets the freedom narrative, and who gets the crackdown?

#FFC admin has to be the EPL’s best wind up merchant - Kenny pictured in a blue warm up kit after he chooses London’s Originals above Liverpool’s B Team. Call the Z-Cars someone in @fulhamfc.com’s media team needs arresting for that absolute breach of the peace!

So who was the other #FFC fan at the punk all dayer in Glasgow - red Europa cup cap

A day out mountain biking in the Yorkshire Dales on a route from Dales Bike Centre

Another fantastic day out using @jackthurston.bsky.social Lost Lanes as a guide in the Lake District. The weather was firmly on my side, but the route makes the most of the landscapes, keeping you well away from busy roads

Josh King again olé olé #FFC

My parents’ Sunday Telegraph finds itself unable to use swear words without asterisks. Nonetheless it is able to repeat golfers’ homophobic, misogynist and nasty descriptions for shots in full within an article, and then pull them out into a sidebar for their readers’ further delectation.

During a short chat with Tara Palmer-Tomkinson we admitted that we used the ability to say her name correctly as a sobriety test

Right, we are here for the Fulham game. What time do the teams come out? #BREFFC #buststopfc

@martinlewis.moneysavingexpert.com Re: NI top-ups. After your advice, I applied. DWP aim to call within 6 weeks—tick. But the “call” is a 2-minute box-ticker just to say they’ll call later. Targets met, action delayed. Did you know this is how they’re doing it? Is this acceptable?

A Telegraph headline suggesting something dodgy and just one party involved. Read the article and it’s clear that the Tories do it too and it’s all within parliamentary rules!

All that's left of the once huge glacier at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. #ClimateCrisis www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/ar...

If you - or perhaps more likely your parents/grandparents or cord wearing colleagues - read the Telegraph, it's worth reading Carlton's thread to understand the critical thinking of (at least one of) their journalists...

These sad looking characters are part of a campaign group that raised £55k to oppose a greenway providing a safe route for people on bikes. Reading an article on the case it seems the real issue their village has is cars, some parked on the narrow lane, others rat running to avoid an M11 junction

“According to the statisticians at OPTA, Salah competed in eight duels and won only one. Bassey, by contrast, won six of his eight duels” He’s been great recently but Calvin was immense yesterday #FFC

Two classic ‘being the first’ from Sess yesterday during #FULLIV Firstly the speed of his reaction for the goal and then how quickly he gets to Muniz to celebrate. Our boy is well and truly back! #FFC

Really #FFC?