Am in recovery. Will not be taking the oxys they gave me, as they also had to give me zofran and that’s already not working.

Due to the case before me taking longer than expected, surgery now won’t start until closer to 1:15. The anesthesiologist did say I was “exactly right “ with the six hours, and that they tell people eight because “no one follows directions” & eats a large meal. Sir. That is lousy reasoning.

My gallbladder surgery was rescheduled for a 2nd time, it is now at noon tomorrow. Woman who called to tell me said no food or drink after midnight. "I would like the anesthesiologist to call me and discuss why I am being given outdated guidelines." This hasn't been best practice for over a decade.

Erika Kirk has started text bank grifting for TPUSA and once again David from Utah is getting messages to my number. I know she’s grieving but I’m not going to give space to grifters. So “David” is giving her advice.

My Gen X boss is explaining the X-files to Favorite Paralegal, who was (a) born in 1995 and (b) raised in a cult, and thus missed out on a lot of pop culture. It is going EXACTLY as hilariously as you'd expect.

Adding insult to injury, this particular time (because this is not the first time that people have believed The Rapture Is Happening Today) is on ROSH HASHANA. Motherfuckers aren't even a TINY bit subtle about their antisemitism.

Listening to the CK episode of @ifbookspod.bsky.social and now I have [extremely Billy Joel voice] 🎶 And KIRK was PRACticING POLiTICS 🎶 flowing through my head on a loop like the worst echolalia of all time.

Happy Rosh Hashanah y'all.

The alt text in these photos killed me. But also legitimately Alex Jones looks the same age as my father in law, who is SEVENTY TWO YEARS OLD.

*steps up to microphone* Hi. If you can't afford food, go to a food pantry. You are why it exists. Go get some food. Don't rationalize others need it more. You deserve to eat. www.feedingamerica.org

I’m an Autistic classically trained chef and I wrote a food aversion acceptance cookbook and guide titled COLOR TASTE TEXTURE, that’s all about finding out what works for specific sensory needs and how to customize food for them. It’s useful for all ages, no cooking experience necessary.

No one does research like Rah does research. If you're wondering WHY antihistamines before COVID vaccines, or WHY antihistamines to help prevent or reduce the severity of COVID, the sources are here.

I'm just a millennial, standing in front of the internet, begging yet another company to ask one single person in the design room why they're trying to hold back laughter. Today's culprit: Betsey Johnson, who does not appear to be on bsky.

The only good thing the BMI chart is for, quite frankly, is making it so a lot of us are qualified for the vaccine because Fat™️

Can confirm: 50mg Benadryl the moment I get home from the pharmacy keeps me from feeling like death. I’m zooted into the next universe, but at least I’m not feverish and shaky and sore and and and. (Citations are in-thread, Rah always brings CVS length receipts)

Vega decided to rally & was able to move his back legs & support his weight this morning, after a few days of...not...being able to do that, so he gets painkillers & steroids & we get a few more weeks of loving on the big lunk, until neurology tests come back.

#UglyDogs send up an awooo tomorrow at 12:30pacific. Vega de la Renta McIntyre, backyard goofball special, equal parts lab/pit/squirrel/boulder, Kronk of my heart, is very sick and his person, sister of my soul, has to say goodbye.

I graduated high school in 2000. Yes, I absolutely knew what my history/civics teacher thought of Hillary Clinton (it was gross, misogynistic, and homophobic).

Oh gods this one is a punch to the gut.

congrats to your grandma in heaven on finally being able to fulfill her fantasy of being eiffel towered by paul newman and robert redford

Teacher bestie has found an atty, thanks to the magic of the internet. I am LIVID that she even had to do so, given Pickering and other relevant case law. School district lawyer shouldn't have allowed this in the first place. As someone else said elsewhere: If not Red Scare, why Red Scare Shaped?

Putting up the #LawSky batsignal: Friend is an English teacher at a public middle school in VA. She posted (friends-only) something rather milquetoast about Charlie Kirk & it has been screenshat & sent to her school, which placed her on paid admin leave this morning. Needs to talk to someone ASAP.

Husband went to the store for a new shower curtain & shower head. Came back with those, yes, but also sour patch kids apple candies and ghirardelli caramel apple chocolate jack o'lanterns and my first question was "I wonder if @chuckwendig.bsky.social knows about these."

We have found the limit of my iron stomach and it is “the dog who just got skunked.” Husband is getting tomato juice. We have four air purifiers & two fans running on the first floor, all 800sqft of it.

Live your life in such a way that if people directly quote you after your death, no one will accuse them of "speaking ill of the dead."

TIL that Thomas Chatterton Williams is not, in fact, a boat-shoe motherfucker who looks like he would break out into "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" at a moment's notice, as I had imagined due to ::waves hands at his name and politics:: but he is, actually, A BLACK MAN.

Anywho I’m boosting because I calculated this as my year goal and can’t figure how to push to Patreon sooo amid ya can help this month is CRITICAL

I fucked up the ligaments in my left thumb during the post-fire move-in. I have hEDS and I did 12-16 hours of unpacking, furniture assembly, etc. every day for almost two weeks. I finally remembered I have k-tape & have made myself a brace. Coworker's dog is VERY concerned & keeps kissing my injury.

Alright I’m gonna go apply more , and research more and try to not have anxiety issues . And yes do more but if we could possibly share this and have everyone give me like a dollar this would secure me for the end of this year And if you can’t BABE I TOTALLY GET IT

My mother died in 2009 b/c she didn't have insurance for so long that when she finally got OHP via state insurance lottery, the time between different steps of figuring out what was causing her migraines were so long that the cause (an AVM) killed her. She died the day she was scheduled for an MRI.

LOVE TO BE THREATENED WITH DEATH BY A LITERAL FUCKING WAR CRIME BECAUSE I HELD MY FIST IN THE AIR & YELLED AT SOME THUGS THAT THEIR MOTHERS WERE ASHAMED OF THEM. MY CHARGES WERE DISMISSED **WITH PREJUDICE** I MIGHT FUCKING ADD.

I do all the baking, so he doesn't make me cookies, but the steak and asparagus and potatoes he does in cast iron on the grill? I will do *biblical* things for that man.

I went to brunch *and* dinner with the in-laws *and* shopped for back-to-school shoes for my kid today. We'll see if I can get out of bed for work tomorrow without issue.

ERIC CLAPTON AND JOHN MAYER OCCUPY THE SAME "MEN I WOULD THROAT PUNCH IF GIVEN HALF A CHANCE" SPOT IN MY BRAIN.

Sometimes you discover lines in the sand you didn't realize you'd need to have. Tonight, I discovered "a 32-year-long friend accusing me of participating in the trafficking of her 19-year-old son who moved out of her home without warning, because I won't give her free legal advice" is one of mine.

Who would be the funniest journalist to break the news?

Is he dead yet? ishedeadyet.us

Get you someone who looks at you like my dog looks at Billie Eilish’s @npr.org Tiny Desk Concert.

IN ALL THE TIMES I WENT TO NEWARK, OH TO VISIT MY IN-LAWS, MY HUSBAND NEVER TOLD ME THERE WAS AN APPLE CANNON 20 MINUTES AWAY. DIVORCE????

live your life so the mere POSSIBILITY of your death doesn't unite people in a way we haven't seen since 9/11

You’ve heard of 30-50 feral hogs. Now, from the Oregon Supreme Court comes over 277 free-range guinea pigs

There is one tricky question, about the cost to the government ($10-20 per person) if they implement a free filing system. Watch for that and answer carefully.

We went on one date. He had a tattoo on his calf of a man riding a penny farthing bicycle. We did not go on a second date.

My gallbladder surgery is scheduled for a month from today & my surgeon's office told me nothing solid after midnight & only clear liquids ("plain black coffee, water, or juice without pulp") but nothing past 6 a.m. My surgery is at 11. I'll be uploading these guidelines to my chart & having a TALK.

G O V E R M E N T I know I shouldn’t expect much. But. G O V E R M E N T whoooooboyyyy

I had extra teeth. All removed now, but two sets of wisdom teeth & three sets of adult incisors.

The_prey_wanter has logged on.

I mean that’s not far off from how my great-grandparents did it, and my grandparents could have, if they wanted to (they chose to be LPRs for 40 years).

🎶Hello, Christ? I'm 'bout to sin again...🎶

Not quite as good as Kissinger dying on my kid’s 18th, but I’ll take Dobson dying 2 days before my 43rd as a present from the universe anyway.